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Black_Panther_Girl

Last Login:
September 17th, 2021




Gender: Female
Status: Single
Age: 27
Country: United States

Signup Date:
January 29, 2021


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09/16/2021 04:25 PM 

I Know You Guys Must Think I Need To Get A Life

I know you guys must think I need to get a life but right now typing on here on my laptop is my coping mechanism and I really don't know any other way really and I just feel that my keyboard is the best possible answer and I really need to just get what I am honestly truly feeling out I feel like if I hold all of my emotions in and bottle them up I will just get mad and take it out on everyone who is trying to help me and I am still so lost and have no idea really how to deal with it still. So that is why I said typing on my laptop on here is the best coping mechanism for me and I can't even think of anything else really. But I still think to myself why does this kind of stuff keep happening to me and it should have been me and not my Great Grandma and I wish it could have been me and not her. Maybe everyone would have a much better life if she was still a life and I was gone.  And I sometimes wish too she could've lived a little longer and not pass away so quickly and she would still be here and I just think maybe I am not needed on this earth anymore and everyone would be happy too and I know they would because I don't think my family loves me at all and I'm starting to think to myself why am I even here? Or why was I even born? I wish I wasn't even born at all and I know for sure I would be a lot better off if I wasn't born and I never existed 

09/15/2021 06:01 PM 

LOST

Me again. I know you guys may think I have a problem but I just feel like typing what I am feeling now since I lost my Great Grandmother and I just feel completely lost like I said before and I miss my Great Grandma so much. It has only been a month since she passed away on July 30 of this year. And I am really still trying to realize she is gone. But I can't help but think of her and when I do think of her I cry and I can't help but cry because me and her were so close and I can't deal with her being gone really and I wish she was still here with me and I wonder if she was still here if she would still love me and I can't even stop thinking about her now that she is gone and I still feel like I have nothing to live for so why am I here for if my Great Grandma is gone then why can't I go and be with her. I hate that she is gone still and I would love to really join my Great Grandma but no one will let me be with her and I hate that everyone is stoping me from being with her

09/15/2021 02:58 PM 

Can't Stop Typing

I apologize for just typing my heart out. But I have to deal with my own grief my own way and I just feel I have to deal with my grief in a different way. Everyone has their own way of grieving and for me it is typing on my laptop on here on my blog and I again apologize for this I am just in shock about the death of my Great Grandmother and I can't find any other way to just get my mind off of this and It's just like I said me and my Great Grandmother were really really really close and I miss her every single day and we would always watch tv together especially Simon's Cat. She was never a big fan of cats but she really loved Simon's Cat and we loved that cat and we would laugh all the time. I love my Great Grandmother more than anything 

09/15/2021 02:32 PM 

I am so Depressed Part 2

It's me again. I just wish I knew how to cope with the loss of losing my great grandmother. I sometimes wish I knew what I could do. But I really don't know what to do at all. All I know is I am so angry at why I lost my Great Grandmother. I guess I will never understand and I sometimes wonder why I am even here? Maybe I am better off dead and being with my Great Grandmother in heaven. Or better yet why did you have to take her God? I mean isn't your job to heal the sick, God? So why take away the one person who I know will always love me. And I seriously can't believe you would take her like that knowing I needed her more 




 

09/14/2021 10:48 PM 

SO ANGRY

I know in my last blog I was saying I lost my great grandmother... and I lost the one who protected me all my life. and I feel like what if I took my life and I feel like everyoone doesn't care about how I feel. All they did was make fun of me and they didn't even care that they hurt me so much and I hate my life I wish I was completely dead and If I was dead I know sure as hell no one would miss me and I have so many thoughts of taking my own life and when I think so much about taking my own life all I think in my head is taking my own life and slitting both of my wrists. I even think about cutting both of my wrists and hope I bleed out dying on the floor or somewhere else and I hate my life so much and why did he have to take the one person I was close to and my protecter why God? Why did you have to take her so soon? She was my only protecter here on earth! And now I am so angry 

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