01/12/2021 12:51 PM  Update (TW) A few weeks ago I had a full blown breakdown, I lost my mind and now I'm sorta recovering. I keep having thoughts I do not wish to have, I wish life were perfect but it just isn't. Everything is great and yet I'm still feeling awful. 0 Comments

12/15/2020 10:26 PM  I am alone, but it's my fault I am so alone and it hurts every day to get up knowing no one cares about me. I am not trying to be edgy, I just miss being in elementary and having friends come so easy to me. I have shut off people until now I'm stuck with one friend who at times is trying. I've brought myself tot he point of exhaustion with one friends since I'm such a people pleaser. I just want a friendship that's more 50/50 but I can't even bring myself to talk to people. 0 Comments

12/10/2020 11:20 PM  Fxck Honestly I hate breezing by while also doing nothing because I know I'll be super unprepared for next year. I know that when I become 15 1/2 (february of next year) I'm expected to get my drivers permit and when 16 get my drivers licence. I know that I'm expected to research colleges or higher education. But it all feels a bit too fast, I wish I were 11-13 again... caring too little on what others think and only having to worry about failing school. I know I still have almost 2 years until I'm an adult, but I only have almost 1.5 years until I graduate. Time is going too fast for me, I am just worried about entering the world before reaching an age known as adult.... but even then the title doesn't change much except giving me more freedom. At least when I'm 18 I get to choose what house I live in rather than bouncing to and fro from my dad's to my mom's house. But another truth is that I fear for my little brother, he'll still be in their home's for 2 years. So I may stay with him in order to not leave him behind, because I care about him. 0 Comments

12/03/2020 11:01 PM  Take a Walk with Me Take a walk through the flowered garden with me, cobbled pathway gently worn and scuffed. The maroon and gold specks carrying off seemingly to the horizon. The warm glow of the sunrise echoing and cascading down the rows of youthful flowers. Take one, smell it, it smells like a bitter aftertaste of a cold tea. Sunlight on fluttering eyelashes, dancing around as you observe the scene. The sound of hollowed clunks as you walk on the path. Soft crunches of leaves against the ground, fall leaves gathered in piles under trees. Sap slowly drips out of the tree, greeting us with a friendly scent. Sit with me under the tree, the new smell of wet dirt as the storm clouds peel back and reveal the sky.  1 Comments

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