it says i'm a cancer but i'm a gemini goddammit
Valentine

Last Login:
November 17th, 2021



Gender: Other
Age: 25
Sign: Cancer
Country: United States

Signup Date:
October 27, 2020

Subscriptions:

10/29/2020 02:47 PM 

diary entry 2

last night, i smoked with my girlfriend and they showed me Borat, which i had never seen before. i was not impressed.

tonight, i'm going to go to my boyfriend's house to practice skating and spend the night with him. COVID's made skating harder to learn, since i can't go to a roller rink, but i think i'm doing okay.

i feel like i want to do something creative, but i don't know what. i guess i could draw, but i've really gotten sh*t at that due to lack of practice over the last few years. maybe i'll pick up my guitar again. i pick it up every few weeks to learn a new cover, and then put it back down for another few weeks. i'm not talented or anything, but it's still cathartic for me.
or maybe i'll write. i wrote a couple fics a month or so ago, and then promptly disappeared from my account again. i've had ideas buzzing around my head ever since, but i can't seem to sit down and make myself focus on writing them out.
is it obvious i have ADHD?

my roommate wants to talk to me about emotional sh*t today. they've been really upset lately and have just been hiding in their room all day and cringing when anyone talks to them. i hope they're okay.

10/28/2020 02:42 PM 

diary entry 1

i think it might be nice to chronicle my daily life somewhat. is it silly to do publicly? yeah, probably. but like i mentioned yesterday, i feel like i can't say anything on web 2.0. i say something personal on twitter, tumblr, etc, and it gets immediately commodified, boiled down to funny #Relatable #RT soundbites that are entirely divorced from the context of me, my life, my feelings. i've started to hate being a consumable entity for an audience.
maybe this can be a safe place, you know?

anyway, i have a few Disorders(tm), and one of them involves chronic insomnia. last night i went to bed at 3:30 AM-ish, which is better than the previous night's 5 AM, but still not great. i was hoping to wake up earlier than yesterday, but unfortunately, my girlfriend left their phone in my room last night, their alarm went off this morning, and it woke me up after about 6 hours of sleep. it took me another hour to get back to sleep and i ended up getting out of bed at 1:30 PM.
such is the life of a chronically ill person, i guess. it doesn't matter too much; COVID-19 has made it so that i no longer have any responsibilities beyond household chores. it still makes me feel like sh*t, though.

i'm gonna try to work on gathering photos for my albums today, i think. i want to post my cat on here; he's my son and i adore him.

i'm gonna smoke tonight so hopefully i can reset my sleep schedule with that.

that's about it. maybe keeping a daily diary entry here will give me more purpose in life...

10/27/2020 10:42 PM 

hello world :)
Current mood:  excited

my girlfriend recommended this site to me tonight, and i'm excited to use it.
i really hate modern social media. i feel exhausted all the goddamn time on twitter, instagram, etc, and i can barely handle tumblr with dozens of add-ons to modulate my experience. i was never able to use myspace when it was popular (i was just a smidge too young), but i was still primarily using proboards forums, old youtube, ff.net, and classic tumblr... places where web 2.0 didn't catch on until i was in my mid-teens.
i miss the old internet. it was a space where a weirdo transgender autistic plural system could catch a break. maybe this is gonna be an easier place to handle than the rest of the new internet.
hi, everyone!

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