01/19/2021 10:22 PM  Life Update Current mood:  blah TRIGGER WARNING Update: The thoughts of self-harm just won't go away. I'm so done with this piece of sh*t hellhole called life dude. I have to listen to music in f***ing private every damn time just to avoid my mom's ridicule. At least my dad is out most of the day so I don't have to deal with him. Why can't they just f***ing accept who I am? They think it's not normal for someone to change in terms of sexuality? I've liked guys since the 5th grade and I've liked other since the 7th(I'm in 8th grade rn). Maybe it's because pansexuality is so "out of the norm." And I'm not even pansexual anymore im omnisexual(yeah im still confused as to who I am.) So imagine if I told I'm OMNISEXUAL. Even the term emnisexual sounds like a f***ing joke, plus I also found out im boyflux(meaning my masculinity changes or flactuates. For example, sometimes i feel 0% masculine, other times 50%, etc.). I know I should put away anything I can cut myself with in my room, but I just don't want to. Also, it's literally f***ing impossible to find anyone who even MIGHT have a crush on me. I've gotten sick and tired of the constant rejection I've faced during middle school. I don't want to be an outcast. I want to be someone. Not just a scenecore f***-up with terrible grades who thinks about cutting his wrists. I feel worthless. I feel like nothing, no one, absolutely ZERO things can help me out here. I'm all alone. Backstory: ​​​​​​​i decided to come out as pan to my parents last month my parents took it the wrong way they thought i was doing it because i wanted to fit in to be special and they thought it was because the internet was influencing me and made me think i was pan so they said I couldn't use my phone till i was 6 F*CKING TEEN   they thought that lgbtqia+ youtubers were grooming me into thinking im pan and that people on discord and that my friends were making me think i was pan the boyflux thing really explains why sometimes i gay as f*** and other times im fine idk everything is just rushing at me so quickly I've been crying in bed every night I've thought of ending it all my parents took away everything I'm tired of the constant screaming between me and my parents everyday. Tired of the fact that my parents keep twisting my words and how my sister gives zero f***s cuz she's doing great there's a glass shard in my room from a broken mirror I've stared at it endlessly i have nothing just you guys my parents won't even let me hang out, text, talk to, or do anything with my friends, and they constantly sh*t on my style and my music. and if i tell them they'll probably think im just saying that because of the fact that alternative aesthetics sometimes tends to glorify depression and suicidal thoughts I've never so depressed in my life, all I feel is anger and sadness 1 Comments

01/18/2021 11:16 PM  New Music! Current mood:  artistic Heyo pplz! So I've been secretly working on new music during my online class and made some hyperpop, trap metal, and emo rap(yeah u could tell I was bored asf.) I also made a Soundcloud! I thought it wouldn't do much but oh boy was I wrong. Literally just a few minutes after uploading my first EP I got like 10 likes on each song, which is enough for me. Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/xxxash-xxx Yes I made a name change! I'm thinking of trying to convince my mom to give me her phone so I can take a photo of an EP cover for my next EP. Bye! 0 Comments

01/15/2021 09:06 PM  Scenecore Revival Bands/Artists to Check Out Current mood:  happy Scenecore Revival Bands/Artists to Check Out 1: takeoffyourpants! takeoffyourpants! is a six peice metalcore/post-hardcore/electronicore band that brings back the fun and energetic side of metalcore, amd brings back those myspace vibezzz! They are very new and underground, so go support them! My Digital Escape 3.0-takeoffyourpants!   2: Shipwreck Standard Shipwreck Standard is another electronicore band that brings back the sound of 2010s metalcore bands such as Woe Is Me, I See Stars, Drop Dead Gorgeous, and Sleeping With Sirens. Their latest single since their first album in 2018, titled "Ronacore" is a comedic metalcore track that blends post hardcore, deathcore, and screamo in a beautiful way. Ronacore-Shipwreck Standard   3: Punkinloveee Do you like The Medic Droid? Do you like Scotty Vanity? Do you like 100 gecs? Punkinloveee brings back all that myspace pop energy with a unique modern twist that is honestly super addicting. She pretty much makes myspace pop mixed 100 gecs and some S3RL influences, and it sounds f***ing amazing Crucifix on me-Punkinloveee   4. Wristmeetrazor Wristmeetrazor is a skramz/screamo/metalcore band that started in 2017. If you enjoy 90s post hardcore/skramz, then you will definitely love this band(hehe dat rhymed). Wristmeetrazor manages to make scramz so different and unique that it almost sounds lile a completely dufferent genre, especially in the track XOXO. In XOXO the bamd combines black metal screams with metalcore amd classic skramz guitar, and it all comes together so well. XOXO-Wristmeetrazor   5: If I Die First Probably my favorote entry on this list, If I Die First is a screamo band that formed in 2019 that released one of the greatest albums this year BY FAR, which is the My Poison Arms EP. This band combines metalcore and that 20005 post hardcore sound brought by early Saosin, Thursday, and early AFI, with an emo enwrgetoc twist that makes you wanna jump around yet cry at the same time. If I Die First was started by emo rapper Lil Lotus, who is one of the lead singers and does the screaming for the band. [Is It Me or Your Secrets That Keep You Up at Night-If I Die First|https://youtu.be/q0xqbFe6P8w]   6: H3artcrush H3artcrush combines elements of myspace pop, breakcore, glitch, S3RL, and 8-bit, which all makes for something extremely unique and a sound that would have garnered thousands of plays on myspace everyday. Freshman Boyfriend-H3artcrush 0 Comments

01/14/2021 09:22 PM  Have I been cursed? Current mood:  aggravated Aaaaaaah i just started getting into Easycore and now whenever I sing any pop-punk i put in a random breakdown ughhhhhhhhh. Like i mean who needs a BREAKDOWN in a Good Charlotte song like wtf. anyways in case you couldnt tell i need therapy for this i put breakdowns in every pop punk song i sing(also don't imagine me doing imitating an electric guitar) 0 Comments

01/14/2021 08:38 PM  Hottopic Coupon! Current mood:  crunk Hell yes I'm crunk asf I got a Hottopic coupon for $15 off any ourchase of over $30 an you know your boi using it today 0 Comments

01/13/2021 02:51 PM  Underrated Bands I Love Current mood:  blank 1.) Design The Skyline: The only song you've probably heard from these guys is their hated on first single that is my favorite song of theirs, "Surrounded By Silence." They are an experimental deathcore/post-hardcore band. After their first full length album, "Nevaeh," a few ex-members of the band left to form another underrated band called 2.) The Starlight Season: The Starlight Season is a band that gained recognition through their first well-received single, "Living In Sequence," and made a few other singles afterward. They are a post-hardcore/metalcore band and they are pretty good. check em out. 3.) Dropping A Popped Locket Dropping A Popped Locket is a crunkcore artist from my hometown and where I still currently live, Queens, NY. Idk what to say about them they're just really f*cking good check him out. DAPL has been around since 2008. Songs ranging from serious to parody, from metal to trap, from hip hop to acoustic, from bluegrass to punk, from electronic to....you get the picture. 0 Comments

01/13/2021 01:44 PM  school sucks Current mood:  bored Online school is legit one of the most boring experiences EVER. Most of the time I'm just on the Hot Topic website lolz. 0 Comments

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