Josh

Last Login:
September 7th, 2021




Gender: Male

Age: 35
Country: United States

Signup Date:
August 25, 2020


Subscriptions:

08/28/2020 01:02 PM 

Gather

Mathew 18:20
"For when two or three gather in my name, there I am with them."

I think most ppl hear that voice and equate it to Church or Worship. Which would be accurate. But I don't think it is limited to that. Remember what it felt like to be at your favorite band's concert and everyone was singing the words at the top of their lungs? Remember being in the hometown crowd and the last second shot goes right through the net? Remember what it felt like to be hanging with a group of friends and everyone is in tears laughing at utter silliness?

As humans we like to anthropomorphize God. Which is silly because God is actually much more complex and at the same time much simpler than all of that.

God IS love, God IS passion, God IS joy. Fill in the blank, any positive, amazing noun adjective and even verb.. that's God.

Listen, I'm not trying to spin this into an anti covid or mask thing. Yes, wear your masks. Yes, take the necessary precautions. But this weird ass side effects some of us have fallen to (me included sometimes), where we're literally afraid of people and would rather shut everyone off in the name of safety. I firmly believe that is 100% the devil's work.

Suicide is up, addiction is up, divorces are up, starvation is up, unemployment is way up, depression is up. The easy thing to do is to blame our leaders or lack there of. But that in itself is faulty. I don't trust Trump or Biden with my life. I don't trust that governor Newsom has my best interest in mind. Are you f***ing kidding me? They're merely just filling a role and doing what's best for them. Ya know, being human. So stop giving them so much power in your mind. What any of them do, does not affect you. Not in the ways that actually matter, anyway.

All those negative things are up because God is in all of us and when we lose our connection to each other, we lose our connection to God.

"Josh, I don't believe in God"

Cool, how's that been working out?

"But if you believe in God and your still struggling, how are you any better off?"

Because faith and hope feel better than fear and despair. So even if the only thing I got going is that I legitimately feel better inside, I'll take it.

Honestly friends, family, colleagues, former students, etc.. I don't know what I meant to type out. I think I started off with a sarcastic joke, deleted it, and then this came out. Which is funny because between you and me, I've been doubting my faith this whole f***ing time, yet when I let my soul speak, out comes a ton of faith. hmmm interesting. But let's get back on track.

The connection between us is divine. No, I don't mean social media and zoom. There is a place for it, for sure, but it will never replace feeling the vibe of another person near by resonating on a similar frequency.

I've been doing these social distance open mics. And other than my last one which was decent, man have I sucked. But the last time I was up, things started to work again. And I could see the look on peoples faces and literally felt the energy in the area when their mind went where I was leading it, they got the joke, and laughed. That's magic!

I did a private tumbling lesson for two elementary kids in their back yard. (social distance precautions were taken. I feel like I have to say that, but I said it in a very mocking voice and I threw up in my mouth a little) These kids who since going back to school, and since the end of last school year before that, have been spending 6 hours or so on a laptop. I could just feel their energy pouring out. They were light fireflies who's light made each other's light brighter. And I can't even remember what was said, but the first genuine laugh of our "class". The best way I can explain how it felt, is.. it felt like a jewel of light in my soul. That's the most emo thing of this whole status, but you could've clicked away a long time ago.

THE POINT IS, and I'm bringin it on home now.. the point is, the energy of comedians responding to a joke at a secret open mic in a park, the energy of a child laughing...insert more examples here.. the energy of people being together, is the energy of God. I get we're not out of the woods yet. But let's not shut each other out

-Josh

08/26/2020 03:46 PM 

first vlog of the friendproject era

">Bad Jokes and Good Times
 

I went to and open mic for the first time since comedy clubs were shut down.  Honestly, I wasn't prepared at all.  I had jack sh*t.  But it had been so long since I'd performed that I just wanted to get in front of people.  After a while, It's not scary anymore and it becomes something you crave.  I was a little scared this time though.  As I should've been, because I didn't have much business performing other than the fact that if I didn't I wouldn't feel better about going up again.  And again.  And so on and so forth (but no spoilers for future vlogs)

Also in this vlog, I visited a town I used to live in.  I don't need to explain that part here because I actually remembered to give exposition in the video.  Wow, look at me grow as a vlogger.  Even though this is my first vlog posted to FP.  Just imagine you've watched old vlogs.  More to come.  There won't always be stand up attempts in them, but they do get better as I've been getting back into it. anyways, enjoy.  Please sub to the channel n all that good stuff.  Catch you later you scene ass rawr monsters.

-Josh

08/25/2020 02:08 PM 

The Funny Thing About Change

It's funny how we seldom change on our own accord.  Which is ironic to say as I'm posting a blog on a myspace clone. (F*** algorythem heavy modern social media tho.  that's a story for another time).  Real change seems nine times out of ten to be forced.  Change is more often a biproduct of circumstance outside of our control than it is a choice.

Cue 2020 and the covid quarantine.  Look, I know that in the big picture, there are a lot of people out there who ware worse off than me right now.  So, I don't mean to bitch about it too much.  I just bring it up to talk about how change is forced on us.  It is on me, anyway.  You see, for a long time, I worked in a very specific industry.  I did it for my whole adult life.  In fact, when I started my career, I had my original myspace account. (damn I wish that thing were still up).  But due to the circumstances of 2020, I was deemed non essential.  Which by the way, what a f***ing insult.  Yeah these jobs, we need them, but you and everyone you know, yeah not important.  Here's some stimulous, stay home and shut up.  F*** you.  Anyway, covid deemed us non essesntial.  Then, other situations out of my control look to very likely keep my particular business closed, even after covid.

So I've been facing a very scary question.  What if I never do the thing I know how to do again?  What if this is God being like "Dude, I don't know how many more signs I can give you. New path!"  Emotionally, I've gone all over the map on this one.  When you do something for so long, it becomes more than a job.  It becomes part of your identity. (Side note: this is why you should love what you do.  Because if your identity is something you hate, wow that sucks).  So what do you do when that very large part of your identity is suddenly not available to you anymore?

Damn.

To be honest, I still havent completly let go.  But I know that it may be a very real possiblity that I have to.  And although I haven't reached finality, I've made peace with the fact that it's most likely coming.  I could be sad about it.  And I am of course.  But I'm not dwelling on it.  Instead I'm looking at it as an oppertunity.  If my longtime profession is taken away from me, what does that now leave room for?  When I look at it like that, it takes something sad and scary, and makes it exciting.  Perspective I guess. 

I've been hitting up comedy open mics with my newfoound spare time.  Because of covid, they're all semi secret and held in random locations.  Even though it's cool to go on stage in a comedy club, this underground feel is pretty cool.  Dare I say it's made the community areound these open mics more accepting.  Anyone can sign up for an open mic, but if you're doing one in a park, or someone's garage, then you must REALLY wanna do this sh*t.  I've been hitting those up, slowly but surely getting better, and making new connections.  The more I do it, the more I think, "ok I know I need work but I could do this."  And that makes me really excited to keep doing it.  Even when I suck, I get better if that makes any sense.  When other comics talk to me, it makes me feel like they see enough of something in me to accept me.  So maybe there's something to this.

SO WHAT IF

here we go, gonna bring this baby home.. so what if there is something for me in comedy?  Yeah, I definitely need to work and get better.  For sure.  But that withstanding, what if there is a spot for me in this world?  I might've never known had the CHANGE of not being able to go to work NOT BEEN FORCED ON ME.  What the actual f***?  So you're telling me, in order to find the next chapter of my life, I have to let go of the current one??  Most likely.  God has a sense of humor like that.  It is hard to appreciate some sort of gain without knowing loss.  Gotta be honest, not a fan of that system but I guess it works.

So here we are.  About to set off on a new adventure and oh look, I have a shiny new myspace-like profile to post on.  So join me FP friends, on this journey into the new decade.  Here's to new friends and good vibes.

-Josh

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