a eulogy of a doomed relationship
Current mood:  sad

i think the worst part is that as much as i liked you, it wasn't enough. i wasn't perfect, i'll be the first to admit it, but i tried so hard, esp towards the end. And i hate that you don't even f***ing know how much it hurts to see you everyday and pretend that everything is fine. if i only could, I'd swap our places so that you'd understand.

the saddest thing is that now all seeing you makes me feel is rage instead of happy. i warn everyone i know away from you. i thought i loved you, at least for a bit. you were everything to me until you weren't. and this is the only place i can ever lay out everything, bc i know you won't see it.

i hate your face. i hate your long hair, and the way you kept saying you would cut it but i managed to convince you not to. i hate your stupid cute outfits. i hate how you tried too hard to be funny. i hate how much i miss hanging out with you. 

mostly, i hate how you lied. i hate that you told me you weren't interested in me romantically when you were. i hate that you put your career ahead of me and didn't even have the balls to just tell me that. 

most of all, i hate that i don't hate you. not even a little bit. not at all.