08/07/2020 06:38 PM  Eternal sunshine of a spotless mind Current mood:  forgotten Maybe if I erased  Every memory saved  I wouldn’t be so fixated on you Spotless minds, brand new lives Isn’t that how you live yours now While I’m left with the pieces?  How innocent your soul must feel  Separating myself after all these years Sometimes I wish you never existed When I see old movies, hear old songs  I would love to feel nothing No association at all.   I’d run and hide you in places So they can’t find you.  But your saturated everywhere Like a filter on a picture. The world is ugly and broken  You make flowers brighter sometimes But at the core, it feels like an illusion.   Would it be easier to wipe you out like a hard drive? Yeah. But I’d find my way back to you.  We’d see each other on a train, wonder why the eyes seem familiar and come back full circle. Isn’t that what would happen anyway? Having you infect my mind is inspiring at times. Once you stop dreaming, the future is over. I want to be a kid again, just so I had enough time to figure out a way to find you.    I remember places that I’ve never been to I remember touches you never gave me  I remember kisses that only existed in dreams   Maybe we already had our minds erased. Meet me in Evanston one day.   Koizumi.  0 Comments

07/12/2020 08:46 PM  Is it relevant or just nostalgia? Current mood:  nostalgic I feel like when I live in the past its just a vacation from the present I know sooner or later I'll have to go back the boat is docked and ready the gate is calling my name through the speakers  the planes about to leave  but I rather fake a snow storm or die trying we promised each other we will meet again all these conversations we have in our head. your eyes keep on me until the curtain falls you wake up to your brand new world and I'm still waiting for you to return  leave a note before you go so I won't be tempted  When I'm here, I find excuses to remember you exactly the way it was when I first met you I try to find little signs, pictures in time  anything to keep you close. Its been well over a decade since you were relevant since I had any kind of chance to slip right through but I blame it all on fate. It's easier that way. you start to question why you even bother to try to keep searching, to keep the little things close  you can't let go; your not suppose to let go Am I just missing you and the time attached? or is there a reason your still relevant? its hard sometimes when the fog is dense when your life is just fine enough to live it  I dress myself up just to see if this is the day that my feelings for you will finally fade in fact, I look for you in hopes you'll let me go but each and every time, I leave feeling even more alone even more longing, even more sure its not over I know if the moment ever comes, I'll have to be ready but I truly can't ever see that happening youve had all these chances to prove it's not meant  for you to be like every other memory that feels nostalgic  but you're more. You feel like so much more than that.  your like history but without the time And I know you were never truly mine. It doesn't make it any less authentic  I hope the day never comes when your just nostalgia. josie K   0 Comments

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