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☽ ♡ Kat ♡ ☾ (scene mom)

Last Login:
December 20th, 2023



Gender: Female
Status: Married
Age: 119
Sign: Taurus
Country: United States

Signup Date:
June 29, 2020

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07/22/2020 10:13 PM 

drama doesn't follow me (it rides on my back)
Current mood:  tested

Hi guys, it's scene mom! Here's some of my rambling thoughts that no one f***ing asked for, in my best attempt to be helpful if any drama occurs moving forward. It makes very little sense!!!!! If you're struggling, feel free to message me. Otherwise, keep fighting the good fight and being excellent little freaks. 

The pattern some people on this site have of banding together to “cancel” problematic people has shown itself to me (an old f*** on the periphery of the drama) a few times, so I’ve tried to do my best to understand what is happening. I think I’ve found a pretty basic picture of the issue, and I wanted to provide some advice to everyone, for whatever that’s worth. This isn’t for any specific person. It doesn’t reference a specific incident. If you want this free advice, take it. If not, move on. I’m posting it here in this context because again, I am an adult. It would not be appropriate for me to insert myself into the drama when it happens. If it seemed like someone was in immediate danger, that would be a different story. For now, please bear with me as I try to organize and express my thoughts as best as I can.

  1. The Slurs
    The idea that there is a zero-tolerance policy on slurs among you guys, and there seems to be a united front committed to enforcing that is phenomenal. Especially when young people have such a reputation as being “edgy” and not giving a f***, you are proving that so wrong. I’ve seen people use problematic language here, and the process begins exactly as it should. Someone comes in to calmly and kindly inform the offender that their speech is problematic. Nine times out of ten, the offending person apologizes, acknowledges their wrong, and everyone moves on. This is the best possible outcome.

    What the offender does need to understand though, is that it is no one’s responsibility (particularly a member of the community who the language was damaging to) to educate them. It is not your responsibility to educate someone. It is a kindness to do it. It is a luxury to receive it. But it is not your job, especially in f***ing 2020 when everyone is literally carrying Google around in their pocket. What is also important for the offending person to understand is that their best, most sincere apology may not be good enough for someone. Everyone has their own story and their own baggage, and you are not entitled to someone’s space after you have offended or harmed them, even if you did not mean to. They are not responsible for your closure on the situation. Be better and move on. Bring your new knowledge and better self to someone else. Do not push someone who doesn’t want to talk to you anymore. They’ll get over it and come back when they’re ready, or they won’t.

    If you have the time and energy to provide background on WHY a slur or other statement is problematic, bless your heart. Make sure you are not speaking OVER a marginalized voice, and understand that you are making yourself responsible for providing facts, not your personal opinion.
 
  1. The Trolls and The A**holes
    When someone says something wrong like a slur or a microaggression, and proceeds to double down or lash out when called out, my honest to god advice is to block and move on. I cannot stress this enough: do not feed the trolls. I don’t understand it, but there are some people in this world who just love pushing your buttons. Why the buttons they choose to push hardest are the ones attached to people advocating for kindness and equality, I wish I knew. I think it’s because they know that you care. The fact is though, nothing you say to a person like this will change their behavior. They are not going to debate with you (even if that’s what they tell you they want to do), they are going to try to tire you out, laugh at you, and then try to “catch” you when the inevitable verbal diarrhea causes you to say something they can flip around on you or take out of context. I know that tightness in your chest when you read someone’s post being a transphobic, ableist, sexist, racist, whatever-ist piece of sh*t. I know those hot pins and needles on your face. At least one person has openly admitted that they keep bringing sh*t up because they ENJOY making you feel this way. Stop giving them the satisfaction. The worst thing that could happen from them bringing it up again is to get zero reaction. That is truly how you win. Stop buying tickets to a show you don’t want to see.

    Some kids have told me that they feel responsible, like they need to step in and defend their friends. It’s so admirable, it is. But it’s an exhausting and ultimately futile effort. Block. Block. Block. Move on. Repeat if necessary. Yes, the trolls will carry on in their echo chamber but…so what? Maybe they’ll make new friends. Those new friends will see these people for who they are just like you did and make their own choices accordingly.

    It is a waste of your time. They are a waste of your time. Arguing with them is a waste of your time. That energy you have? It is special and it is powerful and you should take it off of the internet. Take it to your real world. You are not going to get through to some edgy, anti-PC teen on the internet. And also, I’m so so sorry to tell you this, but I am pushing 30 and I still see these people every single day. They don’t grow out of their troll caves. But the good news is that you don’t have to grow out of giving a sh*t either. However, if you spend too much time of your precious positive energy on internet trolls, you will burn out. You will have less drive and energy to effect real change in your own life, and the world around it.



     
  2. The Drama
    I see some people saying that they can’t believe people are being so dramatic over a myspace clone. I hate to break it to you, but there was drama on Myspace too. Big drama. Full f***ing websites devoted to following it. One good example would be the saga of Kiki Kannibal. This Rolling Stone piece about it from 2011 is a wild ride

    The easiest argument to get out of hand is an internet argument. I know you kids are all in group chats together. I know there’s zoom calls and all that sh*t, but there’s still that “just a face on a screen” element that depersonalizes not only the people we interact with online, but ourselves as well. It’s normal (and perfectly fine!) to have a persona online, or even just to choose to express only certain aspects of your personality. Sit back and remind yourself every now and then every single status, comment, photo, whatever, was made by a flesh and blood human being that is likely not *exactly* who you think they are. Not in a catfish time way, but in a “you don’t know what they may or may not be going through” way.


     
  1. The Fear and The Line
    Some people have expressed concern over being “next” to be cancelled based on something they say or do accidentally. In “cancel culture” world, that concern is echoed by many. To those people, I offer this advice: always post consciously. Always speak from a place of kindness. Do your best. You are definitely, definitely, DEFINITELY going to f*** up at some point if you have not already. Every single one of us has and/or will. What matters, what gets you “cancelled” or not is how you respond to your mistake. Save cancellations for people who refuse to own up to their sh*t and improve. Accept criticism, apologize, and be better. If everyone just follows those rules, there will still be cancellations, but there will be much less drama.

    There’s also concern about how vulgar some of the jokes and language are that get thrown around with impunity by those who would still seek to cancel others. This point gets brought up to invalidate someone else being cancelled for what they see as less bad/not a big deal than what other people “get away with”. Context is key, is my answer to that. Obviously, there’s a difference between a girl calling her friend a bitch/whore in jest vs someone calling a girl those names out of the blue or in an argument, or if they are a stranger.

    Intent matters, but it also doesn’t. Your INTENT is worthless if your words were still received in a hurtful way. No amount of “But I didn’t mean it like that” will change how you were received. It shouldn’t have to. If your intention is to be careful, kind, and inclusive, then you will likely not end up in a situation where you harm someone. But if you do, and it was because of ignorance or some other accident, you have to act with that same care and kindness. You have to own your mistake, apologize, and improve.

I’m still learning. I’m still growing. I’m still figuring out how to be a better ally and person in general. It doesn’t stop. But you know what? Only so much of that is going to happen in the stream. The real growth happens in the real world. Please don’t burn out your beautiful energy on some faces on a screen that are only out to upset you.

07/08/2020 03:49 PM 

The Definitive Myspace Throwback Playlist
Current mood:  nostalgic

I have a reputation as the ~aux queen~ of my friend group. In the car, at the store I used to work at, even at my own wedding. My playlists are BOMB. I have a witchy vibes playlist that I made for myself on spotify and was surprised to see it get a few followers organically, and that kind of validated my suspision that I'm good at this. With that in mind, I decided to create the definitive spotify playlist of myspace throwbacks!

TLDR: CLICK HERE TO GET YOUR SOUL RIPPED OUT YOUR BUTT BY MELODIC NOSTALGIA

This playlist is LITERALLY two days long. I'm sure it will get longer now that I'm posting this and requesting suggestions! There's a lot of genres in there, so I don't really have rules about that. As far as suggestions, let me tell you a little about how I built this playlist as it exists now. 

I didn't have much money growing up. My mom allowed me a $10 a month iTunes allowance. I'd spend the entire month watching Fuse TV (whatever that is now, jeeze) and writing down music videos for songs I liked. I'd download whatever I could off of artists' Myspace profiles, and off of Purevolume (come on, PUREVOLUME?!?!?). First of the month, I could buy 10 songs (they were still $0.99 each). It would take me months to complete an album, because I always had other songs I also wanted. Every now and then I'd get to go to Tower Records with my dad and he'd buy me one or two CDs. Christmas was iTunes gift cards on iTunes gift cards on iTunes gift cards. Eventually I figured out LimeWire and destroyed my parents' computer. It would be a few more years before I figured out how to safely torrent and rip from youtube, at which point I became a bit of a music hoarder. 

For this reason, I have some songs that I absolutely LOVE from the era of like 2003-2009 where I just...never learned any other songs by those artists. I also compiled friends' profile songs that I liked and have some really random sh*t. I think this playlist really captures the era in a way that will blow you away when you see some of the songs I have on there. Some of them are ones I actually forgot about completely before I opened my ancient iTunes library and scrolled through it song by song for Y'ALL. There's some older songs on there, but ones I remember being quoted in headlines and bullitens all the time that seeped into the culture. There's also some songs from 2012-2013 because I think there was a slow drip of scene into the Tumblr-sphere at that time.

All that being said, I'm sure I'm missing some required songs. I want this to be THE myspace playlist that everyone can favorite and jam to when they're on this site. Please keep in mind that as the playlist queen, I'll have final say. Try to trust me. Drop some artists and song titles in the comments and I'll keep adding songs as you request them! Please PLEASE be specific because if you just name an artist, I might not know what the best songs from them to choose are. 

Finally, if you don't have Spotify, IDK WHAT TO TELL U


If you misssed it up top, here's the link again!!

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