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Last Login:
August 19th, 2021



Gender: Female
Status: Single
Age: 20
Sign: Cancer
Country: United States

Signup Date:
June 23, 2020

Subscriptions:

08/19/2021 07:35 PM 

sad n stuff i guess
Current mood:  sad

I'm crying really badly right now. I'm moving away to LA for college. and that comes with me also moving away from all of my friends. I've never had so many friends before in my entire life, and I have never felt like I was at home or accepted in any of the places I lived, but I do here in Pennsylvania, and I can't even spell it without autocorrect. I've lived here for 2 years now and they've been the best years of my life. but now I'm leaving again like I always do. and everyone is leaving so soon. I think I genuinely love the friend group I've been a part of. this is the internet so I obviously don't wanna blab out everything, ill save that for my diary. but I just feel like I'm leaving something unfinished, even though it's already started to end. I know ill hopefully see everyone during winter and summer break. but I'm still sad because I know we will grow apart in some sense. I've driven home crying after hangouts lately because I know I won't feel good like this again for a very long time, I love my friends so much and I'm gonna miss them. I am going to feel so alone moving to LA, I'm gonna be all by myself. I mean I have been alone before, but I was going through the worst point of my life then. but at least then I had my family to come home to, but ill be all on my own and more alone than ever, I don't know if I'm ready for that. it hurts. 

08/19/2021 07:35 PM 

sad n stuff i guess
Current mood:  sad

I'm crying really badly right now. I'm moving away to LA for college. and that comes with me also moving away from all of my friends. I've never had so many friends before in my entire life, and I have never felt like I was at home or accepted in any of the places I lived, but I do here in Pennsylvania, and I can't even spell it without autocorrect. I've lived here for 2 years now and they've been the best years of my life. but now I'm leaving again like I always do. and everyone is leaving so soon. I think I genuinely love the friend group I've been a part of. this is the internet so I obviously don't wanna blab out everything, ill save that for my diary. but I just feel like I'm leaving something unfinished, even though it's already started to end. I know ill hopefully see everyone during winter and summer break. but I'm still sad because I know we will grow apart in some sense. I've driven home crying after hangouts lately because I know I won't feel good like this again for a very long time, I love my friends so much and I'm gonna miss them. I am going to feel so alone moving to LA, I'm gonna be all by myself. I mean I have been alone before, but I was going through the worst point of my life then. but at least then I had my family to come home to, but ill be all on my own and more alone than ever, I don't know if I'm ready for that. it hurts. 

05/02/2021 07:54 PM 

I'm back lol
Current mood:  stressed

It's been a while since I've posted on here. like a long time. I've been pilled with work, from school/graduating/getting ready for college to saving money for college. 

Everything is so damn confusing. 

like why the f*** do I have to ask and sh*t for these weird forms and go on these random websites and do all this adult sh*t it's so confusing and stressful. I feel like I just want to be a kid, or just have the freedom of being an adult with no responsibilities. 

it all seems simple in theory but it's so damn confusing, I try to talk through it with my dad and stuff but it stresses me out of nowhere, even if it makes sense I start bawling and hyperventilating, its like I'm trying to learn math in middle school at the dining table crying.


I wonder if anyone I know still uses friend project, probably not, but it's a funny thought to think that I could talk on here like this with no one IRL knowing?

anywho!

-Hailie

06/28/2020 08:34 PM 

the world sucks :(
Current mood:  cynical

It pisses me off and hurts me to my very core of a person, when i see people hating, or LITERALLY F***ING KILLING, someone because of thier racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, etc. i've shead so many f***ing tears seeing others being mistreated. i cant imagine how they f***ing feel, to live with that systemic sh*t every. single. f***ing. day.

i just want people to love eachother and treat others with kindness. but thats not how the world works, thats not how society works, thats not how humanity works. 

i feel like its my duty and responsibility in this lifetime to help fight for change. help others as much as i can.

but i feel myself start to slip into this political hopelessness that my parents have. i dont want that. i wanna help others as much as i can. but i am only 17. i cant vote yet, i cant go out to the protests AT ALL. ive been trying to do my part by signing as much petitions as i possibly can. but i feel like im not doing sh*t. im doing WAY more than the people at my school. more than the performative activism that has taken place online by these celebrities, influencers, and people at my school. 

i f***ing wish i could just snap my fingers and fix sh*t. but i cant. i feel hopeless. 

the more i learn about the world. the more i hate it.

i hate these people at my school that live in this bubble of conservative suburbia. only blindly listening to their parents beliefs, hating and judging anyone that is different, and then hiding behind the shield of "im christian". you are literally using the lords name in vain. im christian, and i want to f***ing love and care for as many people as i can. i obviously dont listen to the bible 100%, but i dont think anyone should, its very old and its been mistranslated. i think that if you are a kind genuine person, youll go somewhere good, no matter your religious beliefs, or sexuality, or gender, or lack there of. 

i just want people to be f***ing nice. its literally not that hard. educate yourself and learn f***ing empathy twoards others.

 

06/26/2020 02:26 PM 

IM INTIMIDATING?
Current mood:  confused

okay, so. in the past ive been told that im "intimidating". and some people give off the "oh jee whiz, there she is" type of energy twoards me. I dont understand?? like okay yes i punched a bad toxic guy at our school. and yes i call out racists and homophobes on my tiktok. but like that shouldnt be intimidating? 

maybe it the way i dress? but i literally dress like a thrift store grandma mixed with a polly pocket- HOW CAN THAT BE INTIMIDATING? (i have worn cut off barbie doll heads on my ears doe- maybe thats it?)

im very outgoing and loud/ hyperactive, but thats more annoying than intimidating..

i try to be the kindest person i can and to spread positivity and love wherever i go! no need to be intimidated by my awesome presence πŸ₯Ί

06/24/2020 01:46 PM 

hehe i hate peopleee
Current mood:  aggravated

random but i want to rant for a sec i guess. im currently taking zoloft and its been helping me a lot! it does make me slightly hyperative and super talkative though. and a lot of people assume im "ditzy" or something WHEN IM NOT? I feel like i have to prove that i am smart. its super f***ing annoying, because i have a lot of thoughts and ideas about the world. and i am very well educated. but im sometimes not good at putting my thoughts and ideas into words? i tend to rant and blabble a lot. 

I also feel the need to appologize when i say my opinion or ANYTHING AT ALL, ill be like "um sorry but i think-" or "sorry to interupt but i have a question-" and its seriously become a bad habit of mine to appologize for everything i do. its a bad habit that i need to stop. 

in conclusion, i just wish people would take me seriously, and actually listen and treat me with respect.

06/24/2020 01:37 AM 

i love this website!
Current mood:  awake

teehee umm random but i think most social medias should be on the computer, like only on the computer. it would solve SO MANY problems! it would give purpose to post and stuff, something to look forward to at the end of the day! i guess thats why i love this website so much! its very mid 2000's haha! plus, when i was growing up, myspace had already died, no one used it really. but now its great that theres a little community on a website like this! My older sister looked at this site and said its literally a replica of myspace haha! 

06/23/2020 03:04 AM 

heehe im neww
Current mood:  awake

hehehehe i found this website through tiktok and am so glad i did! its a bit sketch, but whatever. its 3:00am and ive been figuring out how to do this for 3 hours lol. my older sister used to have myspace, and i remember her telling me about her coding sh*t onto her page to get diff layouts. i thought that was crazy dude! now im doing it! 

anywhoooo i dont think the locals will get into this, mainly bc they would probably find it complicated and hard, and then get bored quick lol. this will be alt heaven for a LONGG time hopefully!

bare with me ahah, im still figuring this out, if im slow with responding, im sorry haha

-hailie 

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