02/11/2021 08:22 PM  Nana... So there's this girl.... and uhm.....     1 Comments

01/31/2021 05:47 PM  Wilbur unreleased songs brainrot I've been listening to Wilburs music non-stop for like the past 6 months and I'm an especially big fan of the songs he released on his Soundcloud album Maybe I Was Boring in 2019, my favourite song being Its all futile! Its all pointless!. Its moments like these I'm thankful that I'm one of 5 people in the world that actually pay for and use youtube music lol.  Heres the link to my playlist of all wilbur songs/covers i could find on youtube.   If there are any important songs missing please lmk!   0 Comments

12/21/2020 09:28 PM  I need to stop using my blog as a diary. But I dont want to.... (i dont feel like proofreading its 4am and im dyslexic) I watched this video of the minecraft youtuber Dream talking about what he belives is his biggest weakness and it reminded me a lot of my own experiences with rejection senitive dysphoria (rsd) as a symptom of my ADHD. I struggled a lot with school growing up due to a lack of support and understanding of my disorders. Anyone with any diagnosis knows the feeling of being offered "time and a half" to compensate for your disability while not feeling lisened to by your teachers when you try to express what you really need. I developed a severe fear of failure around junior high that eventually led me to stop trying in general because in my big child brain failing while trying felt so much worse than just not trying at all. This fear of faiure is something I still stuggle with to this day, the difference being that it now maifests as my inability to ask for help due to the fact that I hold myself to a very high standard. God, I shouldnt spend too much time thinking about this stuff. Reflecting on my experiences growing up with adhd makes me sad because it reminds me of how so much of the traumatic sh*t I had to go through growing up was completly avoidable. If someone had taken the time to see how much i stuggled and actually was able to provide me with the resources i needed things wouldnt be as bad as they are today. At least this is a good motivator for me to get ahold of my doctor to see if I should start going on adhd meds again... This got a bit too personal but I enjoy reading other people talk about their experiences with this stuff so ho knows.. maybe this is #realatable Good Night!!! ♥ 0 Comments

12/20/2020 11:39 PM  Winter Break and Homework Current mood:  blah I finished my 8-week internship at a fabric store and am now on winter break.  I have a lot of schoolwork to catch up on but I've been feeling pretty unmotivated all through my senior year so far... I'm hoping to just take it slow and not stress myself out too much over my work but it has been hard since I hold myself to a very high standard and it feels like no matter what I do there's always something I could do better. I'd like to think that perfectionism is a good quality to have but not in my case where my standards often keep me from being productive. I try to tell myself that its always better to have something that's mediocre but finished than perfect but forever in progress but the humiliation of having to face my peers and my teachers to show off something I'm not proud off is the worst feeling... I've mentioned it in a previous post but my plan is to study art at uni so I'm trying to focus more on my art and building a portfolio over regular schoolwork because if I'm too much of a depressed mess to do one thing I might as well put all my energy into something I enjoy more.  Why do all my blog posts start as cute life updates and end as depressed rants? Anyway.. here's a bad bitch graphic to cheer you up after this downer...  1 Comments

10/07/2020 04:01 PM  Uni and stuff I've been talking to my study counselour about what I should do after I graduate this spring and it has made me think a lot about my future in general. My plans have changed a lot over time, like just at the start of the year I was dead set on attending this one school in Washington D.C but since my mom failed at applying for my US-citizenship I had to drop that idea... I really wanna study art/illustration abroad with my top pick rn being NCAD Dublin because of the location and affordability. At the same time, I'm not opposed to just moving to Portland, Oregon to be with Leo and just take some random art course there for that student visa...  Future scawy...  0 Comments

06/22/2020 06:05 PM  1st Post!! ヽ(o＾▽＾o)ノ This is my first blog post on my FriendProject blog and I'm sooo soo exited! I've had multiple blogs in the past and I've honestly preferred it over other forms of social media but it was a lot harder to keep up than a spam ig page. I constantly feel nervous about posting on my main social media accounts due to the expectation of quality posts that reflect both me as a creator and my personal aesthetic so I'm hoping this will be a good middleground between cute and personal I've been looking for. (￣▽￣*)ゞ(￣▽￣*)ゞ   0 Comments

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