03/17/2020 02:32 PM  Totally Not Self-Absorbed All About Me Survey Answers NAME:: Sharayah, just call me Shazza AGE:: 27 BIRTHDAY:: 21/01/1993 BIRTHPLACE:: Adelaide, South Australia CURRENT LOCATION:: Adelaide, South Australia HERITAGE:: Yugoslavian/Australian EYE COLOR:: Brown HAIR COLOR:: Naturally Brown, currently Half Black/Half Pink HEIGHT:: 4ft, 8 inches PIERCINGS:: None TATTOOS:: None, much to my dismay, am poor WHAT COLOGNE/PERFUME DO U WEAR:: None, because they don't produce Forbidden Rose anymore *FAVORITES* COLOR:: Pink MUSIC:: Pop Punk, Punk Rock, Metal, Nu-Metal, some Post-Hardcore, Synthwave SPORT:: Haha... yeah no HOLIDAY:: Wanna go to California sooo bad FOOD:: Sushi! *THIS OR THAT* HUGS OR KISSES:: Kisses PEPSI OR COKE:: Coke MCDONALDS OR BURGER KING:: McDonalds when I'm drunk CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA:: Vanilla LOVER OR FIGHTER:: Lover FRIENDS OR FAMILY:: Family LOVE OR MONEY:: Love LISTEN TO SOMEONE TALK OR TALKING:: Talking PERSONALITY OR LOOKS:: Both *IN A BOY/GIRL* EYE COLOR:: Brown, Hazel... kinda scared off Blue HAIR COLOR:: Dark brown/Black SHORT OR LONG HAIR:: LONGGG OMG IT'S LITERALLY A DEAL BREAKER IF NOT HEIGHT:: Taller than me, at least STYLE:: Rocker/Metalhead/Emo PIERCINGS OR TATTOOS:: Mostly Tattoos, lip piercings are hot tho ;) HOT OR CUTE:: HOTTTT *FRIENDS* WHOS UR BEST FRIEND:: Kristy, Amy, Sara, Tyla, Morgan, Tanya WHOS THE LOUDEST:: MORGAN WHO HAVE U KNOWN LONGEST:: Tanya WHOS THE SHYEST:: Kristy COOLEST FRIEND:: Amy PRETTIEST FRIEND:: Tyla WEIRDEST FRIEND:: Amy, in the best way *LOVE* ARE U IN LOVE:: No... sadly IF YOU'RE NOT IN LOVE NOW, HAVE U EVER BEEN:: Several times DO U BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT:: Yes and No LONGEST RELATIONSHIP:: 1.5 Years WOULD U GO OUT WITH SOMEONE JUST FOR THEIR MONEY:: Absolutely not DO U GO ON "PITY DATES":: No, f*** that KISS ON THE FIRST DATE:: Maybe, depends on how the night goes SEX ON THE FIRST DATE:: Again, depends... EVER CHEATED ON A B/F OR G/F? BE HONEST:: F*** no *WHOS THE LAST PERSON* KISSED:: James HUGGED:: My brother TOLD U THEY LOVED U:: My Mum TOLD THEM U LOVED THEM:: My Mum TALKED TO ON THE PHONE:: Mum YELLED AT:: Probably a character in a game haha BROKE UR HEART:: Christian SAID THEY HATED U:: Mikaela? In not so many words U TOLD U HATED:: I try to avoid such harsh words *RANDOM QUESTIONS* DO U DO DRUGS:: Hell. F***ing. No. DO U DRINK:: Occasionally. DO U WANT TO GET MARRIED:: Yes, one day DO U WANT TO HAVE KIDS:: F*** no DO U BELIEVE IN URSELF:: Used to, not so much these days DO U THINK UR ATTRACTIVE:: I'm about a 4... maybe a 6 on a good day WHAT STAR/CELEBRITY DO MOST PEOPLE SAY U RESEMBLE:: Elizabeth Gillies, for some reason? WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE U SAW IN THE THEATER? WAS IT GOOD:: Birds Of Prey, and f*** yes ♥ CAN U HANDLE THE TRUTH:: Hmm... depends on the situation BIGGEST WEAKNESS:: Falling in love too easily BIGGEST FEAR:: Dying MOST MISSED MEMORY:: Every moment I spent with my former best friend... FIRST THOUGHT WAKING UP:: Put me back to sleep... IF U DONT RECOGNIE THE NUMBER ON UR CALLER ID, DO U ANSWER:: NOPE HOW DO U WANT TO DIE:: Peacefully DO U GET ALONG WITH UR PARENTS:: Yes DO U SWEAR:: Too f***ing much, probably NUMBER OF PAST THINGS U REGRET:: Too goddamn many... HOW DO YOU WANT TO DIE:: I believe I said Peacefully? lol WHAT TIME IS IT:: 5:01pm 0 Comments

03/13/2020 02:54 PM  I Am So Very, Very Tired... Current mood:  drained The last few days have been absolutely wretched and my soul is extremely f***ing tired and I'm just done. F***ing done. With everything. Between seeing people who I don't want to see and it ripping open old wounds, to one of my favourite f***ing bands having to cancel coming to Australia for the time being, to f***ing losing $464 dollars in Flights because my tickets are non-refundable, and having to f***ing f*** over my friend who may still go to Sydney but ALONE now... We can't refund the Air BnB either, so in total, between Flights and accomodation, I've just lost $684... And I'm sorry, but I have a history of respiratory issues and I am not risking it for a two day holiday and risking giving my diabetic stepdad the virus if I were unlucky enough to catch it - It was a huge risk me even going in the first place but as everything was already booked I was going to take my chances. Because I thought it may be my only chance to see My Chemical Romance live. Now that's not happening, my health comes first. My family's health comes first. So no. I will stay in Adelaide, until such a time things MAYBE calm the f*** down. So to recap, Life is really f***ing unfair and I am not doing well right now... 0 Comments

02/21/2020 05:49 PM  Can Life PLEASE Stop Sucking For Five Minutes? Current mood:  stressed Can I just vent? I've tried talking about this elsewhere but everyone's just all "Don't stress about it, that won't do you any good" blah f***in blah WELL I AM STRESSED BECAUSE I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO, YOU TWATS! LET ME BE STRESSED! ANYWAY, context... context... Job Network finally ran out of patience, I suppose. They've been pretty lenient until now but I guess the Boss is riding my Case Worker's ass because out of nowhere, they've given me a month to find work or I have to go back into study. I have NO IDEA what the f*** I want to study. Like, only vague ideas, and I'm stressed about having to make a decision pretty f***in soon and getting myself tied into a course that I'm not even entirely sure I want to do, or a career path I don't even know if I want to pursue yet. And the thought of having to maybe travel to town or further is also stressing me like Yes, I could travel to the city, but I don't want to have to. But I may not have a choice since the local TAFE's don't offer much 'round here... And ya know, if they make me still look for work on top of it, as most places do... F***! *SCREAMS and yanks out hair* Interior Design? Graphic Design? Hairdressing? Seeing if they'll let me study an Art of some kind? (doubtful, they want a career-orientated thing, here). I don't know. I don't know, I don't know, I DON'T F***IN KNOW. I feel like I'm sixteen years old again having to decide right here and now what I wanna do for the rest of my life, f***sake... And if they require me to do my SACE to get into things well f***ing just end me now, because I would rather DIE than do that high school sh*t again. Obviously not High School but I do not want to f***in do Math again, it doesn't click with me. And like, just to make it even worse... I had personal plans this year. I've been working on my Art, trying to draw more frequently and was feeling good about it. And I have plans to buy a keyboard in a week or so when I get paid again and start teaching myself how to play. I was excited for a year of throwing myself into Music and Art, things that make me happy, because I have the time... well, HAD. If I start studying, bye bye. Energy gone, motivation gone, courses will drain me. And it's just a whole lot of this really f***ing sucks and I am upset and stressed out and I feel like everyone's just too focused on the "Don't stress, look at your options" sh*t that they can't for one second actually let me voice my frustrations. I just dunno what the f*** to do here and I wanna cry... 0 Comments

01/15/2020 04:50 PM  "Money can't buy happiness" is literally the biggest lie I've ever been told Current mood:  discontent Literally one of my biggest upsets in life is being financially restricted. There is so much I want to do, see, and achieve in my life and I constantly hit a wall where Money is f***ing concerned. To say Money can't buy happiness is just an outright f***ing Lie. F***ing bullsh*t. I have been unemployed basically my whole life, only ever worked ONE DAY's paid work. That's it. Nothing has come up since. Within nearly a DECADE of job searching, I have had a total of 3 f***ing interviews, a year or so's worth of work experience, and ONE job trial. In a DECADE. That is DISGUSTING. And do not even try to say I am not trying, because I am. But being a disabled person (moderate to severe hearing loss and bad eyesight) has severely hindered the type of work I can do, and employers typically make up their minds about me within the first five minutes of an interview because of this. They don't have to say that's why, that'd be discrimination, but I know... So Money is hard to come by, I get labelled a f***ing dole bludger, a leech, this and that. I don't get to buy nice makeup, I barely get to travel and typically can't for long, I'll never get overseas, and I'll never have the money to pay for the study I want to undertake to truly get where I want to go in life. And I'll forever be living in the f***ing ghetto, in government housing. I am almost 30 with nothing to show for myself, stuck living in the past and reminiscing on a time where achieving my dreams seemed possible, before unforeseen circumstances led to all that I had worked so hard for being ripped away from me. I do not want to reach 40 and still be in the same boat. I want more for myself. But I have already lost nearly 3 decades of my life in which I have achieved NOTHING. I wanted to leave all the Negative feelings and sh*t in the last decade, but 15 days into 2020, it's all creeping up again... 0 Comments

01/06/2020 04:58 PM  Welcome to the Rawr'ing 20's Current mood:  frustrated Whaddup Emos, it is I, a veteran of the old school MySpace days. Recently joined Friend Project because it is the closest thing to the magic of that place and what it was. But, it's falling short, the coding is janky, all the old layout generators I used to rely on no longer work, and I'm severely disappointed.  All I want, is for old MySpace to come back, the way it used to be. I f***ing hate Facebook, it's bland, and lifeless, and to be honest, I am sick of being on there and I want to move on. When I was a teen, we bounced from MySpace to Bebo and then to Facebook and it seemed like every few years, a new social media platform would arise and take the throne. Google Plus did try a few years ago, but it failed miserably. But it is f***ing time for change. So I propose a Concept: It is the Rawr'ing 20's, MySpace reverts back to its old layout, with a few new additions to make it fit in with modern times. We all leave Facebook and migrate back there, everyone learns how to code again and we all have bitchin profiles with a million glittery graphics and our favourite emo bangers on autoplay to piss off our friends when they visit our page. Everyone starts arguing with each other because they're not in your Top 8, every girl strives to be a Scene Kween once more, and artists are discovered by their MySpace pages instead of Facebook once again. Make it f***ing happen F*** Cuckerberg MySpace, please. This is your Time. The Best Time. Be Smart. Bring people back to your platform. Facebook has had its f***ing day. It's time to move on. Enough. New Plaform, Fresh Start. Sorry for interrupting your day with the ramblings of an almost 27-year-old Emo garbage lady-child. 2 Comments

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