11/19/2019 01:56 PM  piece of mind I think I'm doing better now but every night I slip into the same routine. My best friend and I have planned our dream trip over Christmas and are in the process of booking everything but all I feel is stress surrounding it. So far I have booked and paid for everything (flights, concert tickets, accommodation etc) with money I have been saving up all year from my job and have continuously asked for the money she owes but all I get are excuses. Her parents are paying for her entire half because she doesn't have a job or savings and I'm starting to think this was a bad idea. Before, I would've done anything to go on this trip and especially with my best friend that appreciates it as much as me but now I'm questioning everything. We're both adults and I just hate how much pressure she's putting on me. Void, what do I do... 0 Comments

11/17/2019 03:50 PM  Impatient I've been waiting on others my whole life and I now realise I hate it because no-one waits for me. I'm there for everyone I know when they need me and it's exhausting. It's good to be selfish sometimes 0 Comments

11/16/2019 08:14 PM  I tried to kill myself yesterday It was the third time. I missed my train and instead of getting the next one, I sat there for 2 hours watching peoples' lives go on and feeling numb to it all. Unconsciously I think I had planned my day so no-one knew I was there. I eventually got up and stood at the edge of the platform, ready to jump as soon as the next train came. But before I knew it I had been pulled back by an older man that was waiting nearby, I told him I just wasn't paying attention and to get on his train. So, he did and I broke down and cried in silence next to the ticket machine, before walking home. Sorry for a dark first post but I have never told anyone of my attempts before and something brought me to do it here.  2 Comments

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