03/28/2022 03:19 PM  dead place. follow me on spacehey! hi. stopped using this for 2 years. follow me on spacehey ! see ya. 0 Comments

02/22/2021 04:53 PM  wow hi again Current mood:  blank wow i totally abandoned this place huh ive always wanted to be super active but i kinda just.. disappeared  and it's been like almost a year since i posted xP i turned 18 and things have been kinda crazey (in a good way (?)) still emo  if anyone still remembers me.....i guess i might make a life update 0 Comments

03/24/2020 05:08 AM  hi hi hi hi + quarantine life Current mood:  bummed helloooo  i keep being rly on and off here i apologize 😔 i keep forgetting to update.. anyway! things have been.. kinda bleh recently coronavirus is.. really not cool ive been in quarantine in my house for? uhh at least a week i wouldn't mind except for the fact it's soooo boring and i can't see any of my friends!!! and i miss them tons!!!! hm what else.. oh yeah that show i was supposed to have on the 10th never happened, so that's whatever  i was hoping to have more band practice this break but guess that's out of the question.. ive been thinking about writing songs but that's pretty hard rn.. though it would be pretty punk also i cut my hair even more and now i have a mullet :p i dont look terrible somehow? who knows you know what i would kill to have? chocolate milk . i haven't had it in so long.. and stores r kinda closed.. sigh  i'm currently...... listening to bullets in my room at 5 am ive been sleeping at like 7 am n waking up around 3 or 4 so i guess i'm a whole ass vampire now  it kinda sucks but also it's.. good cause then days r.. short...er???? i don't know .. trying to make light of it haha i just hate being bored . and outside is kinda scary . stay inside ! k.. ive run out of things to say!! see ya ryyyy 0 Comments

02/28/2020 12:05 PM  bleh vent + a lotta other things Current mood:  drained been a month since i updated this wowee uh basically i just feel like sh*t a lot ! don’t know why! kinda hate how i look all the time . i cut my hair and i just....shouldn’t have done that at all and i miss my long hair i just feel rly bad all the time idk i wanna thknk i’m getting better but i don’t think so i’m hoping 2 get a therapist sooner or l8ter uh anyway i’m in a band now woo first practice is tomorrow(today?) and i’m really nervous also we’re playing a show the 10th of march and i don’t know how to feel abt it because it’s uh . let’s just say people will be sitting down and the vibe won’t be right cause we wanna do mcr covers . ugh anyway i cant get over my stupid hair and how stupid it looks :( might sleep early ry 0 Comments

01/28/2020 03:19 AM  tired Current mood:  drained i’m so tired..... zzzzzzz...... just wanted to say i started reading twilight and i reeallyy like it! i haven’t read books in years and it’s just nice to have an easy and cheesy (rhyme) teen book to read :-) i love it . slowly immersing myself into 2000s teen culture....... zzzzzz..... okay sleep time ry 0 Comments

01/23/2020 02:35 AM  bitches is devious.. Current mood:  artistic i am so tired!! i want red streaks in my hair soo bad . so bad! maybe i’ll indulge one day and just do it..  in other news january is almost done! you know what that means!! i’m moving next week FINALLY. i’ve been waiting forever !!!! and the week after i move is my birthday party..... it’s gonna be wicked i’m inviting so many of my friends and ahh...... i really cant wait in other news what’s happening going to san diego i february my art is getting featured in a magazine! it’s called against the grain, it’s based in la and they want me to go to their release event.. and i think i’m going!! which is rly exciting and i would be typing in all caps but i am dead tired lol after that i’m going camping in the california desert with my friends! i hear you can see the whole galaxy.. there’s huge light pollution here and i have a big thing for stars so i can’t even imagine what it’ll be like.. less big news . i might be getting a job. i think. i hope. i’ve never worked before.. i really need the money lol. i wanna start reading twilight! i wanna watch buffy! i wanna get an ipod for music and a flip phone for calling! i just wanna immerse myself into so much 2000s culture... i love it so so much  anyway i need to sleep. and finish this email i’m writing ..  go to sleep!!!! ry  0 Comments

01/08/2020 03:12 AM  i’m back!!! + lots 2 talk about Current mood:  cheerful hello! it’s 3 am and i decided right now was the best time to log back in first off happy new year!!! to everyone!! i have a lot to talk about.. so much has happened! mcr reunion show, christmas .. i got a record player finally!!!! i’m so happy w it! not a crosley, thank god, and i bought bullets as my first record and i’ve been listening 2 it NONSTOP it’s so great once you hear your fav album on vinyl.. you Only wanna listen ti it on vinyl haha speaking of mcr, REUNION HAPPENED ! which is uh, old news to everyone including me, but i still gotta mention it. i stayed up and watched the whole thing on a live feed, i gotta say it was really worth it and the show was so awesome, i was vibing along with it, i can’t imagine how it was like to actually be there .. maybe it’s cause it’s 3am but my brain can’t think of anything else rn.. i recently got into paramore for the first time! they rock! i’ve also been jamming to this band called superet!!! they r so good!! their debut album is amazing also i heard news that idkhow is recording their second album soon and i’m SO excited to hear it also, the guys i wanna be in a band with, their band broke up, which sucks i guess but it’s GREAT news cause that means we can finally start doing our own thing . rip quail the band (but not really, nate the lead singer was a douche) anyway i’m gonna start being active on here again cause i really missed it! but now i’m gonna sleep goodnite! ry 0 Comments

11/02/2019 02:33 PM  band thoughts + etc Current mood:  curious so i’ve been thinking i mean i don’t have a real band band yet, but so far i’m friends with two other guys who wanna start something, and they’re both pretty good at their stuff (drums and guitar) and i’m alright at screaming we’re having ‘band practice’ on monday, and possibly saturday if we can, and i’m excited cause we’re probably gonna be doing mcr covers to start and i LOVE screaming mcr songs so much, it’s so fun! anyway, they say they’re horrible with lyrics but since i make poems i might be alright at it.. tbh if i can scream it i’ll sing it anyway i live in toronto and the music scene here is really really cool and big (i’m seeing a local show tn!) but there aren’t many bands that have a harder tone, most are mellow. what i’m trying to say is, if my band is more screamy and energetic, surely it would get attention... ? i don’t know, i think i’m just daydreaming a bit too much.  in terms of crush stuff.. i have two right now but neither seems like they’d be interested in me, bummer. i keep having really nice moments with one of them (yesterday we went into a room and they played guitar really nicely and i just watched,, ) but i feel like they have some weird resentment for me. i don’t know.. i wish i didn’t feel this way for either of them, having unrequited love is very saddening and if not that, then just strange  okay i’ll stop rambling now can you believe my chem tix sold out in 12 minutes?!? crazy ryan 1 Comments

11/01/2019 02:28 AM  halloween + MY CHEM! Current mood:  accomplished hello it’s been a while!!!!!  i’m writing this at 230 am since it’s nit halloween anymore but i’m just gonna talk abt stuff so first off today ROCKED, it exhausted but i was a vampire and everyone loved my costume.. i wore fangs the whole day and they looked awesome . didn’t trick or treat but i watched scary movie 2 with some good friends and it was really fun!! then i hung out with another group of friends and now i’m finally home. for a bit i thought i couldn’t take off my fangs cuz they wouldn’t pull off, but tbh i was pretty prepared to just live with them my whole life also, MY CHEM IS BACK! !!!!! can you believe it????? i heard the news and ran into my friends class just to scream about it.. it honestly feels so surreal. i really really hope they do a world tour and come here, i can’t believe i’d be able to say i saw mcr in 2019 when i was 16/17.. god! what a timeline we live in it also means gerard and the guys are in a good spot mentally and emotionally and physically because they’d wanna do music stuff again for good! i’m very proud of them!! i love them and they’ve all grown and changed so much as musicians and people :-) what else.. hm. it’s very windy right now, i’m very tired .. the next few days r full of plans! tomorrow i’m going to see my friend (*cough* crush*cough*)’s band play.. no i’m not going just for my crush, i’m excited! and on saturday there’s a bigger show and i’m seeing local bands play! sunday i’m watching scary movies and hanging with some friends that live a bit further away, so i might sleep over.. and on monday i’m gonna ask my crush if we can have band practice cause that’s fun and i wanna sing(scream) mcr covers again also i’m totally wearing my revenge hoodie tomorrow/today.. REUNION!! okay, i’m gonna clock out. goodnight beautiful strangers! -ryan 0 Comments

10/14/2019 02:32 AM  oh man Current mood:  distraught just cried to early sunsets (again).. idk why it keeps happening ? i don’t usually cry at Things, especially songs, but......i don’t know, i listened to that one version again and it just got me here, i’ll link the post https://killjxy.tumblr.com/post/188296679688/emomusicfromanotherroom-but-does-anyone that url is quite long (and links 2 my mcr tumblr) but if u want, listen to it, particularly in the late AMs if the morning or when you’re feeling existential, maybe you’ll have something awakened in you, maybe not anyway, i’m gonna sleep now me and a friend r hanging out tmrw :) have a good night y’all  - ry  0 Comments

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