09/15/2018 01:10 PM  A letter to an old friend ( a vent) Current mood:  blah I was tidying up today, And I found something from you. We don't talk anymore, And I didnt realize who this was from. I thought maybe the handwriting belonged to someone who is still in my life now. Or someone I had a falling out with due to lack of communication, but no. I got a pit in my stomach when I realized it was from you. Even though I know it was you, I still read it, it read "Hey, did you know That you are the most loving, caring, and amazing friend anyone could ask for? And did you know That I can always count on you to be there for me when I'm down, and no matter how upset I am, you some how always find a way to make me laugh You have never failed me. Hey, and did you know, One if my favorite things about you is how we can speak through our favorite songs, and look at eachother and read each other's minds, it's freaky, but awesome. I love how well you can understand me like no one else does. I love how you're creative, and hilarious, and you are really something else. There's no one else like you..." There's so much more to that, but I should really just stop, it ends with a thank you, and an I love you. It wasnt much more than a year ago When you had completely changed your mind. But hey, did you know, That I had some of the best times In my life with you? That my first concert was magical with a best friend like you? I couldnt have imagined a better day. And also, did you know That when you come up in conversation, I don't think badly of you? I talked with a friend that the both of us used to be friends with, and he said he doesn't either. Today my mom said she would defend you if she had to, and I would too. Oh yeah, and did you know, That someone told me you wanted to hang out with our old friend until you saw him with me. And I know you get uncomfortable around me, when you told me that we wouldnt want it to be awkward. The funny thing is, I still look at you, and I feel like I can read your mind. It's a freaky feeling, and it doesnt feel awesome. Oh, and one last thing, did you know, That it puzzles me, that apparently such a horrible, selfish person who supposedly doesnt actually care about anyone, Smiles at her old best friend in the hallway, even though she her tore her apart, she wont even look her in the eyes, and wont give her the slightest bit of respect. I have a lot of regrets. Our friendship wasnt one of them. But I feel like if I let you back in, that would be one of my only regrets about you. 0 Comments

08/19/2018 02:45 PM  Rants and Realizations. Current mood:  calm Hey dudes, it's been a while since i've been constantly on here, but i've been thinking a lot about a lot of things lately. First off, school for me starts on september 5th. It's my last year of high school and I'm extremely excited, not only because i know it will be a blast, but I'm also excited in a nervous way. I need to retrieve credits so I can graduate, go to taekwondo 3-4 times a week to excuse my p.e. credits, learn how to drive, somehow get a job, stay up to date on my usual class assignments,and do as many high school activities as I can while I'm still there, I want to give myself the real stereotypical experience one last time. As excited as I am for school, there is a downside. I had an old friend in freshman and sophomore year who managed to tear all of me away from 2 of my best friends, tear them apart, then tear them away from her. She's an absolute friendship homewrecker. I've refriended one of my friends, but the other I could care less about because of the way she treated some of my other friends. She even said that she wanted to be friends with my other friend again but saw him hanging out with me and didnt want to anymore, it's funny. I dont hate her, but I wish the best for her and even for the friendship homewrecker. ANYWAYS, friendship homewrecker ended up going to a different school, but the schools are merging due to being unsuccessful. Friendship homewrecker is one if those girls who will come up to, bother, talk to, and say mean stuff to the face of someone she isnt friends with anymore because she feels no remorse for them at all, she puts herself on a high pedestal. I dont want to be around her, but I'll have to deal with it, hopefully I dont snap. On a lighter and happier note, i've been cleaning a lot and focusing on trying to redo my room! I'm going for minimalist yet decorativw alt/goth-y, my main concern is getting a vanity so I dont have to do my make up on the floor in harsh lighting anymore.   So yeah, there's my little blurb of what's on my mind.  2 Comments

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01/13/2018 12:53 PM  A Thrifter's guide to Band Merch Current mood:  determined Hi guys! As you can see by the title of this blog post, this post is a guide of how to look for band merch and other edgy kid stuff at your local thrift stores. You're probably thinking " I cAn Do ThIs MySeLf, WhY dOeS sHe ThInK I CaN't FiGuRe ThIs OuT?" Well yeah, I know you can figure it out, but my mom is one of those thriftng people that knows her stuff, and i've picked up some tricks that might help you, so if you're interested, here's my little guide. *this if from my experience, not everyone's town is the same obviously, bare with me* FIRST AND FOREMOST There are good thrift days, and there are bad thrift days, do not let this discourage you. You could find a ton of stuff, you could come out with 2 or 3 things, or you could come out with nothing. WHERE TO GO My favorite place, with most luck, is Goodwill. I reccomend going to your nearest and searching there. If you have a bigger city near you, like a more populated place with a goodwill or thrift store, those are great. One time while I was on vacation, I went to a small town weird looking thrift store and found a Blink album, and an MCR album. WHERE NOT TO GO This is from experience, but if you have a weird thrift store where most old people donate their belongings, i've never had,any luck there. I have a specific order in how I look, look at the asterisks (*) for extra detail 1st: Band Shirts. This kind of determines the fate of your trip. Meander your way down to the basic unisex ("men's") t-shirts. Start from the biggest size and work down to your size. Personally when I do this, I only look in the black and sometimes the white t-shirts, because most band merch is black. 2nd: CDs When I do this, I start from the very beginning of the CD rack/shelf, and read EVERY. SINGLE. CD. pull them out if you need to read them. If you *DO NOT* find any shirts, I still recommend doing this, though you may not find what you are looking for, there is a chance though. If you *DO* find band shirts, there is a high chance of finding music that fits your taste. 3rd: Skinny Jeans/Pants This is a no brainer, find your size, look for what you like. If you *DO NOT* find shirts or CDs, normies wear skinny jeans too, take a look. If you *DO* find shirts and CDs, same thing applies, normies wear skinny jeans, take a look. 4th: belts and shoes I rarely have luck with shoes, depending on your area, you may have luck. Keep an eye out for converse, vans, and personally I look for Doc Martens, because they are cool, but they are expensive. If you *DO* find previously stated items, Look at belts, if you find one you like, wrap it around where your belts usually sit, I have bought belts that are too small for not checking and it was a huge disappointment. If you *DO NOT* find previously stated items, the odds are slim here, but if you dont want to give up, go for it, there's a slight chance. 5th: OTHER If you've had luck, you may find other weird treasures. I've found a backpack. I habe just thought of looking in tank tops and hoodies, those are possibilities. There's my guide! Might be a bit extensive, but I really hope that this will help some of you, Good luck! 2 Comments

01/03/2018 07:08 PM  The Worst Day Probably Ever Current mood:  betrayed SO.  Obviously, by the title of this blog, you can probably tell that today I had T H E  W O R S T  D A Y  P R O B A B L Y  E V E R  So first off, I woke up late today, I didn't have enough time to use 7 sticks of eyeliner on my face let alone 1, and i had to rush out the door. Thankfully, I DID have enough time to throw some piping hot apple cider into my Polar Camel mug, which will keep my beverages warm for a very long time (not sponsored lmao) I got on the bus this morning, with my piping hot cider, and we were almost to school. my bus takes a harsh turn, and hot cider spills on my thighs. That hurt like a Butt-cheek on a stick. The bus pulled up to the school, so i grabbed my slightly sticky cup, and walked toward the front of the bus when one of the middle schoolers was partly in the isle, and the bump was strong enough to spill hot cider all over my hands. nothing to help wake you up like burning sticky hands, right? So yeah, things were fine despite some hot liquid spilling all over, i was still pretty optimistic about the day. Then, a "friend", who i just kind of tolerate, we'll call him Nigel, Nigel comes over and sits next to me and starts complaining about how he just got rejected after being lead on for a month, like every other girl he tried to date (except for me because i told him the same day that i was romantically involved with someone else).  The bell rang for first period, and I went to French class. naturally of course, i sit in the wrong desk *Brain fart*, then when I actually get to my desk, I burn my tongue on hot cider, and later knock my knuckles on the desk really hard, by accident of course. Later in the class, I put my table's books away and crushed my hand under the books i was setting down. At this point, i knew that today was just going to be a big stroke of bad luck. I went to 2nd period, Chemistry, and i started doing the work that was assigned to me. When an office assistant came into the classroom with a note. My teacher gave me the note, and told me i could go down anytime i wanted. so i finished some more problems on our worksheet and walked down to the counselling office, where it told me to go. I get to the office, tell them that i'm here to see a Councillor, tell them which Councillor i came to see, and they send me in. Low and behold, with my luck (or lack of), i walk into the wrong Councillor's office so i walk out, explain that i was in the wrong office and that the other Councillor was with someone, so i would wait for her.  After waiting a few minutes, i look at my note, and out loud, say "wait... this note isn't even mine.". i had someone else's note. so the counselling office lady and i try and figure out who this is, and we find out that it's a teaching assistant. I started walking back to class, but my brain failed me again and i almost walked into my 3rd period class instead of my second period class. i handed the note back to my teacher, and he ran it to the other room to give it to the teaching assistant it belonged to. Basically, my bad luck ends in 2nd period, and it got better, but my day was pretty much ruined  1 Comments

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