The Gabber's Corner

Last Login:
May 14th, 2022

Gender: Male
Status: Single
Age: 42
Country: Australia

Signup Date:
February 10, 2017



03/21/2022 05:03 PM 

Rejection hitting harder

There is a girl who works in the same building that the company I work for is located. She works for a different company though, I asked her out and she said yes. I was actually surprised as I really didnt expect her to, we exchanged numbers and I felt like I was on top of the world.
Later that night she texted me saying she had thought more about it and that she is not up for dating anybody at the moment as she is working on herself and her own mental health. I respect that. I understand that she is probably not attracted to me and/or doesn't want to risk getting involved with someone who works in the same place as her, as that could make things really awkward, especially if things don't work out well. I totally understand she has the right to change her mind and that she does not owe me anything, but damn, the disappointment really hit me harder than I ever would have expected.

I suppose it's because I havent really 'liked' someone in a long time now, and when she initially said yes, I got my hopes up only to have them crushed. I don't understand how this has caused me to feel so depressed, I am used to rejection, I have experienced it often! But for some reason I cant get her out of my head and I feel a huge sense of depression knowing that each day at work she is somewhere in the building but I wont be talking to her, as I absolutely do not want to pester her. A no is a no, I get it. I respect it. But this particular 'no' has hit me harder than many others I have experienced over my life.

Oh well, this is my problem and I will work through it as best as I can.

02/05/2022 05:26 PM 

Making the same mistakes over and over
Current mood:  blah

I can't believe the guy I work for. The business has huge staff turnover because nobody can stand him, his micromanaging, insane demands and horrible personality. Every time we get new staff, they leave after a few weeks or few months at the most and he says "I don't understand, why do they keep leaving". I try to tell him everything that he does that causes them to burn out and leave and he still thinks he is not the problem. It makes me laugh.

Life is strange.


12/24/2021 05:17 PM 

Christmas Time
Current mood:  awake

Well, its Christmas time.
This will be my frst Christmas without my father.
It's been a sad year, a year I am glad is coming to an end.
The last few years seem to have been marked by loss, sadness regret for what might have been.
None the less, I am not going to let this dampen my spirit, not yet anyway.
Merry Christmas everybody

Dark Christmas Comments
Magickal Graphics

10/29/2021 08:19 PM 

Happy Halloween / Samhain!

Samhain Comments & Graphics
~Magickal Graphics~

~Magickal Graphics~

10/29/2021 08:16 PM 

happy halloween / Samhain season! (not wiccan but I like the below poem and graphic)

Samhain Comments & Graphics
~Magickal Graphics~

08/23/2021 06:34 PM 

My review of Black Goat of the Hundred Acre Wood by James Pratt

It is a mythos story I bought off Amazon Kindle and at first glance the concept seems ridiculous, the Cthulhu Mythos crossed with Winnie the Pooh, not written as a parody or tongue in cheek either, it is dead-pan serious and very grave and somber, yet it is fantastic.

The characters are never referred to by name, but by descriptions that make them instantly recognizable, i.e. the curious tiger, the yellow bear, the clever rabbit, etc. I presume this was done due to copywrite laws but that is only my speculation.

Anyway, it starts off with the beloved children's characters planning a picnic for their friend 'the fair haired boy' when a mysterious storm rolls in and they find a mysterious trap door they never noticed before.

The story sees appearances from creatures that were featured in Dream Quest of Unknown Kadath and the story itself is even mentioned by the characters.

I really liked the story and recommend it to all mythos fans

Some of my favorite snippets from the story to give you an idea of it;

"The Little Yellow Bear knew for a fact that dragons were real, as were brownies and bunyips and boggarts, though he didn’t call them by those names. But nothing could have prepared them for this. It was as if the world they knew was a tapestry, slowly unraveling in preparation to become something new."

"The dog-faced thing removed its hand and faded back into the darkness. The Little Yellow Bear crept out of his bedroll and started to follow before he remembered the Gentle Pig and began crawling toward his makeshift spear. Weapon in hand, he slowly circled the fire, giving him a better view of the serpent-thing. It looked like a small sea-monster, with a sinewy reptilian body and an earless, bullet-shaped head at the end of a serpentine neck. Folded tight against its body was a pair of membranous wings. Teeth and claws glistening slick with gore, it was too absorbed in its meal to notice the small, quiet form creeping up on it."

"The Gentle Pig moaned. No, the Little Yellow Bear thought. Nothing could have lived through that. The Gentle Pig was practically in two pieces. Then he moaned again and the Little Yellow Bear was at his side. “Please,” the Gentle Pig begged, “please.” He’s going to ask me to kill him, the Little Yellow Bear thought. Not that. Anything but that"

"An odd thought occurred to the Little Yellow Bear. The fog blotted out the world, not by obscuring it but by eating it up. It was a malignant tumor spreading across the universe, feasting on space and time even as it excreted a strange new reality in its wake. Whatever it was, the ancient and wicked thing had come with the storm had already claimed the Wood. Soon, nothing would be left of the Little Yellow Bear’s world, save for the Little Yellow Bear himself."

08/20/2021 11:20 PM 

Current mood:  melancholy

I still miss my dad. It has been about 8 months since he died, and I think of him every day. I often still dream about him. Mostly I dream about him as he was at the end. When he was frail and confused and suffering from dementia and was completely dependent on me. This is not how I want to remember him. I want to remember him as the way he was for most of his life; intelligent, strong, self-sufficient and always with a solution to any problem that presented itself. Sometimes I will still dream of him as he was when he was younger and then I feel happy and think life has gone back to the way it used to be, but then when I wake up and realize it was just a dream the reality that he is gone just hits even harder. Still, I would rather dream of him than forget him, no matter how much sadness the dreams may evoke.

03/20/2021 03:39 PM 

It's been over a month since my dad died
Current mood:  melancholy

Well it's been over a month. Dealing with the sudden shock of m,y father passing away right in front of me while I was visiting him in hospital. Having to notify family. All of us crying together and talking about the old times. Organising a funeral. Attending the funeral. Talking with family and friends about our favorite memories of him, about hard times he went through and overcame, about how he had been such a smart, witty and intelligent man all his life until he suddenly developed dementia overnight and became delusional, childlike and dependent and needed me for everything. How he deserved so much better than the hand life dealt him.

In addition to all the above I have had to deal with my difficult and demanding boss at work. My job with long hours and low pay plus more and more demands being put on me by my money grubbing boss. Coming home at the end of the long day and dad not being there. Depression, anxiety, frustration, anger. I have had a whole range of emotions to deal with and I have not enjoyed it. I hate feeling. I prefer to feel nothing.

I don't really believe in an afterlife, but I can't help but wonder. Maybe dad is in a better place. Maybe he is concious and happy, but I doubt it. Either way he is definately no longer suffering, and I take some comfort in that.

02/21/2021 04:06 PM 

Current mood:  sad

A smile on your face and laughter in your heart.
Kind, sweet natured, generous and smart.
You buoyed my spirit day by day.
I loved you more than words can say.
Filled with wisdom, mirth & song.
With everyone, you’d get along.
But now your absence makes me weep.
You’ve earned your rest, eternal sleep.

02/13/2021 01:53 PM 

My dad died this week
Current mood:  melancholy

So my dad died a few days ago. I knew it would happen soon, but I did not expect it to happen this soon.

He had deteriorated massively due to dementia. Still the same kind natured and friendly man he had always been, but he became more childlike and dependent. He was often confused and would wander into my room and ask if it was time for us to drive home yet. I would tell him we were already home and he would be surprised.

It was difficult to take care for him and work full time, but I was determined not to put him in a home. He took care of me when I was a kid and did not abandon me, so there was no way I was going to abandon him.

He had to go into hospital late last week and was due to come out later this week. I went in to visit him at the beginning of the week. I was able to have a chat with him and help him eat some dinner.

Suddenly he collapsed right there on the spot, I called the nurse, who then called more nurses. While this was going on I held my dad's hand and looked into his eyes. He did not look scared or in pain. He looked peaceful, however he may have been unconcious. A nurse then said to me "I'm very sorry, he's passed away" My tears started flowing and I couldn't stop crying.

They closed his eyes and sat his body up in bed and told me I could sit with it for as long as I wanted. I sat with my dad's body and called various family to notfiy them. It was very sad all around. Eventually, I realised I had to leave as there was nothing more I could do.

Since then I have spent all week organising the funeral. 

I know that this is the natural order of life. People grow old, they die, for their grown children life just goes on and continues, but the pain is still raw for me.

He was a great father and was also my best friend and now life will never be the same.


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