<3

Recently, I got out of a toxic 3-year-long relationship with a girl I loved. 
I decided that now, now that I can, now that I want to, now that I know who I want to be, I am going to become the person in my head. I'm going to be the person that I know I am but that I've been hiding. 
My mother is.. rather unkind, I have trauma, I have things that I regret having done but those things don't make who I am and I'm not going to let them anymore.
I'm not going to get better overnight, I might never fully recover from it all, but I can live coexistantly with all of the things that have happened and will happen, I can be sad without being consumed, I can embrace, change, and live the pain instead of breathing it. 
I will be coffee, sex, and cigerettes, red flowers, alive city nights, bubble baths, fantasy ball gowns, mystery, red lipstick, a riddle, a puzzle, a song, a poem, a poet, a writer, art, alcohol.
I will take myself and my friends on picnics, to art museums, poetry slams, walks through the woods, the city at night, and things of the sort.
One day I hope people look at me and think "She's the kind of girl that people write songs about.. she's art." 
One day I hope somebody will look at me and pray to any and every god that my red lipstick ends up on their neck.
I will be punk, I will be beautiful, I will be alive. I won't waste away by the television, you're more likely to find me in a library.