The big ass bulge in my pants
Today, somebody at school noticed the big ass bulge in my sweatpants, so they asked, "What is that?" I then proceeded to pull out said bulge, which turned out to be a 9-millimeter pistol, and shoot him in the face. The teachers approached me and asked, "What is wrong with you? Why on earth would you do that?" So I responded by putting the 9-millimeter pistol back into my pants, and I walked away. I ate a turkey sandwich for lunch with cheetos and a caprisun. I talked to my friends and then went back to class.