02/15/23 the past week
Current mood:  anxious

sorry for not updating in like over a week, ive been so stressed >-<
since talking last i found out that my school might not be going back for a while so we'll be continuing online. if i find out that its for the rest of the year ill try and get transfered to another school.

i went to the movies with my mom and we saw, "infinity pool", and it was horrible, i hated it!! there was no plot, no structure, no lead up to anything it was like they gave someone a huge dose of ac1d and told them to write a movie; and no, not in the good way. there was so much s3x which makes me uncomfy anyway but i was with my MOM. it showed this old rich dude fvcking a young model or something and then when he got up it showed his bits, TELL ME WHY THIS MFS PP WAS INVERTED T^T anyway, we left early. also the popcorn was really sad so that was disapointing.

one of my friends who used to get the same bus route as me messaged me and we were talking for a bit. our bus route was an hour and a half so we used to talk the whole drive and it was basically just adhd spirals. he used to just listen and go with the flow, he graduated in 2021 so its been a while. anyway, the other day we seshed and caught each other up on whats been going on since we last saw each other n stuff. it was really nice :D

i stayed the night at abbys house a few days ago, it had been a while so it was nice to catch up with her. we watched horror shorts party videos (its a long story), we got the really good pizza and played roblox to bully children (not literally). we were in her livingroom fidling around with their new alexa and i discovered you can play akinator with it. you can also play a few other songs and you can get her to fart (in all different ways too). 

im falling behind in school so badly, whoops. i have adhd and where im not in a classroom with a teacher watching me its hard to get my work done. 

valentines day sucked, as per usual. last year on valentines day i was in the hospital and got dumped by the only person ive ever been in love with. that really sucked. i had to see all the posts and stuff etc. a guy i was talking to for a while hasnt messaged me or really talked about anything in a while. he just stopped answering or was really dry. he unfollowed me on insta. it sucks because he seemed really sweet, caring and respectful and we both wanted the same things but now im not sure if i did something that messed it up or if those were never his intentions all along. i think this is gods sign to give up on men lol. all i wanted was flowers, ive never gotten flowers before and ive always wanted them, hopefully next year ill get them for valentines day or on a date or my birthday or something. my parents didnt get each other anything at all so thats a tad worrisome considering how much theyve been fighting. 

you know what we dont talk about enough? how kurt cobaine was a feminist, lgbtq human rights advocate, poc rights advocate and practically worshipped women. he was such a down to earth person, especially where he was so vocal about in the late 80's/ early 90's when others werent. he refused to do a tour with guns n' roses because of axl rose because he was a racist, homophobic, misogynistic, biggoted piece of sh1t even tho nirvana would have made so much profit from it. i would have loved to meet him, maybe one day in the afterlife. 

https://www.highsnobiety.com/p/kurt-cobain-feminism/ 

anyway, peace out
                         xoxo, gossip girl