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10.11
Current mood:
fermented
another winter comes to wake me up another year fizzling out, a vision still waiting somewhere on the horizon Of a year, of a feeling, something new but it's always blurred out by memories the past loves to sink it's teeth into my neck somehow more than i love to sink my teeth Into yours Into your heart, i wonder if i still have a place my tiny shard of glass I decide today i am going to rearrange my room I am going to clean up under my bed i cant help but feel sick while doing this Remembering how things used to be You've gone off to college, I know no one anymore i don't even know if i want to. I hate people But no matter how much you go dark on me at times I could never hate you. I feel sick thinking that in my mind It's almost like just yesterday we were 15 Walking around at midnight in the cold everything sucked but it all made us giggle night after night, sleep deprived to delirium just like when we were 16 and soaking wet because i fell into the lake, we laid out under the stars and talked for hours Me doused in dirty water and freezing Like we were 17 and you saw me drunk for the first time and i told you i wanted to reach into your chest And squeeze your heart with my hands and its almost like a second ago it all happened now you have no place for me At least it seems so When i hear her name i feel nauseous Because i suspect you may like her better how could i compete with someone like that? i couldn't. I wouldnt. Have what you will. Have what makes you happy. gorge yourself in it until you throw it up And it vaguely resembles some memory of me. I love you. And i wish that you understood. you are the only real one out there. I only ask for a small taste of your heart
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