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[FROG EGGS] hypnagogicGutstuff

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June 3rd, 2024

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Gender: Male
Status: In a relationship
Age: 17
Sign: Scorpio
Country: United States

Signup Date:
September 27, 2020


04/28/2022 10:06 PM 

American Horror Story Review!!! (Murder House)

copy/pasted from a discord rant I went on a while ago (with most of the commentary from my friends cut out lol)

So American horror story murder house sucks and here's why

Honestly it started off pretty strong, I love the aesthetics of the dumb old house and I like the spooky neighborhood with weird neighbors that bother you but as it goes on everything just gets more and more confusing. Like, I tried my damned best to keep up with it and by the mid to halfway mark I was so f***ing confused about what was a flashback and what wasn't, what had actually happened and what hadn't, all that sh*t, and I can't tell if it's an issue with the writing or the editing or me or all of the above it could very well be all of the above

Honestly not knowing what the f*** is going on is usually an editing problem, and in this case the editing is just so fast paced and choppy it disorients your and that could work like really well if you know what you're doing, but I don't think the producers knew what they were doing

Then there's the horror part of it. I really like horror with weird choppy editing and weird blurry timelines because it disturbs me, but this just confused me. Then as soon as you realize you're confused as sh*t and this show sucks BAM something unnecessarily disturbing happens and all of it is shown and I'm wondering why the f*** this show has so many seasons.
The namesake of the season, the f***ing murder house, doesn't even really feel like an important part of the show.
It just kinda is. There's supposed to be rules relating to death on the property and sh*t but they're broken so many times it just gets drowned out by, I dunno the romance???
The romance sucks too. Usually the saving grace for shows like this is the character relationships but I can't bring myself to enjoy the drama when the main sexyman, Tate, is f***ing horrible.
I fee no sympathy for this man. The actor who plays him plays him really f***ing well, and I bought his character immediately even if I hate the "edgy teen psychopath" trope, but he did so much TERRIBLE sh*t in 4 f***ing k and we're supposed to like him??? Violet ran away screaming for her mom because he's a creepy weirdo who tried to kill her and we're supposed to feel sympathy for him????????
And her finally telling him to go f*** himself is f***ing retconned two seconds later because they get back together and it's weird and confusing and it hurts to watch and I hate it

Friend- I’m not allowed to watch most of it bc it’s just horny sh*t

That's incredibly fair. there's a character who's only trait is that she tries to seduce the dad and makes him think he's crazy
Like it's so horny for no god damn reason!
She's probably the best part of the show tho, cause she's reliable. She shows up and something horny is gonna happen that's gonna strain the family's relationship further and there's no terrible wrenches shoved in there that make me hate her storyline more then I already do by default

2-3/10 stars just cause the actors actually kill it and make an otherwise terrible show actually enjoyable enough to binge at 2 am while eating an entire box of Captain Crunch cereal.
For a show with such cool looking poster art it's not even a stuck-up artsy film and I love stuck-up artsy films The House That Jack Built and Midsommar are two of my favorite things ever

I've been told it gets worse then this???? For that reason alone I don't think I can physically bear to watch the remaining 376 seasons

posting this in honor of me suddenly wanting to watch the second season because I have no life and am incredibly bored of rewatching shows I actually like rn 


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