tainted (poem)
Category: Poems

you're good to me
like no one else
but i'm afraid
i can't live with myself
if i become
what i've run away from.

in my little world
there is good and
there is bad
they struggle to
coexist.

all this time
i've been good
but here you are
and you're not bad
so what does that leave me?

will i become the fear
i've fought so hard to
overcome?
or will i turn a blind eye
and escape your loving arms
before that day can come?

this poem is about my fear of becoming the "bad guy" in a relationship. so far in my life, i've been the victim, and i feel like a relationship cannot exist without an abuser and a victim. as much as i want to run away from being abused, if i find a person is genuinely good to me, i panic. if they aren't the abuser, then they must be the victim, and that leaves me the role of abuser, which i never want to become. the truth is, a relationship shouldn't be abuser/victim, it should just be person/person and i cannot seem to get that through my head. if the other person is good, its not because im bad.