I Know You Guys Must Think I Need To Get A Life
Category: Blogging

I know you guys must think I need to get a life but right now typing on here on my laptop is my coping mechanism and I really don't know any other way really and I just feel that my keyboard is the best possible answer and I really need to just get what I am honestly truly feeling out I feel like if I hold all of my emotions in and bottle them up I will just get mad and take it out on everyone who is trying to help me and I am still so lost and have no idea really how to deal with it still. So that is why I said typing on my laptop on here is the best coping mechanism for me and I can't even think of anything else really. But I still think to myself why does this kind of stuff keep happening to me and it should have been me and not my Great Grandma and I wish it could have been me and not her. Maybe everyone would have a much better life if she was still a life and I was gone.  And I sometimes wish too she could've lived a little longer and not pass away so quickly and she would still be here and I just think maybe I am not needed on this earth anymore and everyone would be happy too and I know they would because I don't think my family loves me at all and I'm starting to think to myself why am I even here? Or why was I even born? I wish I wasn't even born at all and I know for sure I would be a lot better off if I wasn't born and I never existed