Bug's life nr 1
Category: Blogging
Current mood:  bored

i am rly bored rn, idrk how to make an interesting blog but rn im listening to the worst song on my playlist (rocketship to the moon)  kinda giving me tryhard emo, but its also a vibe. nvm im skipping this song goddamn,
today i went to school and didnt rly do anything interesting. i skipped zumba cuz im so f***ing tired wow. but actually i talked to a popular guy today which is different for me cuz im rly not popular at all, but he was nice. this other guy also talked to me but that was awkward, hes like best friends with a popular girl and hes kinda living the popular life rn. i wonder how long it will last LMFAO. I only started knowing him 2 years ago, but he has never been popular cuz everyone thought he was weird up until this year after summer break. i was friends with him tho, but go off popular boy.  he is weird tho. i remember he msg'ed me on saying "so r u like a total lesbian?" and i was like "no, im bi u know that" (im also not a girl, but he doesnt know that cuz im not out yet) and he was like "so i might have a chance w u?" and i was like "if ur lucky" LMFAO, and then we didnt rly talk fter that.. 
but some more backstory, we were actually together for a day in 8th grade as well (im in 10th now) bcuz we were talking kind of a lot, and then he said he liked me and i was like "so do u wanna date?" and he was like "omfg yea!" and then he dumped me the day after  in front of all my ballet friends eaugh... 
either way, we talked today.
something that frustrates me a bit is that when he wants to hang out with Ella (his new best friend) he wont bike to school, but when i wanna walk with him he bikes like whatever im not dependent on a f***ing highschool boy, but like why r u gonna tell me u like me and then not hang out w me ???? idk man. 
my friend Emily told me that he is probably just doing it for laughs, but idk.. i want to say that she is just sayin that to be mean, but i am kinda gullible idk,, i have taken some tests that say i am on the autism spectrum, but i doubt that the tests are accurate. it would make sense tho,,,  either way i should probably get that checked out..
yeah, my dad told my mom i should go see a psychiatrist, but she wont take me.. i wonder what thats about 
i dont think my mom believes i have mental health issues, my room is rly messy rn and she thinks im just lazy :/ 
the only reason im even seeing the school therapist (actually i think shes just a nurse wow) is because my freaking teacher was worried abt me. i think that says something about my mom, but idk-- 
my dad is an ass hat, but sometimes i wish i lived with him.