Grieving
Category: Real Life
Current mood:  melancholy

I still miss my dad. It has been about 8 months since he died, and I think of him every day. I often still dream about him. Mostly I dream about him as he was at the end. When he was frail and confused and suffering from dementia and was completely dependent on me. This is not how I want to remember him. I want to remember him as the way he was for most of his life; intelligent, strong, self-sufficient and always with a solution to any problem that presented itself. Sometimes I will still dream of him as he was when he was younger and then I feel happy and think life has gone back to the way it used to be, but then when I wake up and realize it was just a dream the reality that he is gone just hits even harder. Still, I would rather dream of him than forget him, no matter how much sadness the dreams may evoke.