what is happening (vent)

i dont feel real like im just a ghost living out my day to day. every day is exactly the same and its driving me crazy my mum is forcing me into a routine and i hate it. i wake up roll around in bed i get up wash my face clean my piercing get dressed do my makeup eeaatt sit at my computer for hours cry about doing work maybe leave the house have dinner play on the switch take my melatonin wash my face clean my piercing go to bed
get me out get me out get me out get me out
i want to feel real but i dont know how i dont want to hurt myself but i dont know anymore