My dad died this week
Category: Real Life
Current mood:  melancholy

So my dad died a few days ago. I knew it would happen soon, but I did not expect it to happen this soon.

He had deteriorated massively due to dementia. Still the same kind natured and friendly man he had always been, but he became more childlike and dependent. He was often confused and would wander into my room and ask if it was time for us to drive home yet. I would tell him we were already home and he would be surprised.

It was difficult to take care for him and work full time, but I was determined not to put him in a home. He took care of me when I was a kid and did not abandon me, so there was no way I was going to abandon him.

He had to go into hospital late last week and was due to come out later this week. I went in to visit him at the beginning of the week. I was able to have a chat with him and help him eat some dinner.

Suddenly he collapsed right there on the spot, I called the nurse, who then called more nurses. While this was going on I held my dad's hand and looked into his eyes. He did not look scared or in pain. He looked peaceful, however he may have been unconcious. A nurse then said to me "I'm very sorry, he's passed away" My tears started flowing and I couldn't stop crying.

They closed his eyes and sat his body up in bed and told me I could sit with it for as long as I wanted. I sat with my dad's body and called various family to notfiy them. It was very sad all around. Eventually, I realised I had to leave as there was nothing more I could do.

Since then I have spent all week organising the funeral. 

I know that this is the natural order of life. People grow old, they die, for their grown children life just goes on and continues, but the pain is still raw for me.

He was a great father and was also my best friend and now life will never be the same.