// JOURNAL 18/12/2020
Current mood:  drained

CW : ED MENTIONS, DYSPHORIA

// 1 D1DNT 3X4CTLY 1NT3ND FOR MY F1RST BLOG ON H3R3 TO B3 R34LLY H34VY OR 4NYTH1NG, BUT L1K3 GOD D4MN H4S TOD4Y B33N 4N 3XP3R13NC3. SUR3 1T W4S PR3TTY NORM4L 4T TH3 ST4RT, OR 4T L34ST, 4S NORM4L 4S TH1NGS G3T 4ROUND H3R3; NOT L34V1NG MY ROOM UNT1L 1'V3 4SSUR3D 1T'S S4F3 TO DO SO, TH3 TYP1C4L TH1NGS. 1 R34LLY W4SN'T 3XP3CT1NG FOR MY P4R3NTS TO B3 SO M4D TOD4Y, BUT TH4T 3N3RGY H4S R34LLY JUST B33N M4K1NG 1T SH1TTY.
// 1'V3 B33N M34N1NG TO TRY 4ND P1CK UP B3TT3R 34T1NG H4B1TS, BUT TH3 F34R OF G3TT1NG FOOD 4ND JUST G3N3R4L N4GG1NG 1N TH3 B4CK OF MY M1ND TH4T 1 SHOULDN'T, OR OTH3RW1S3 JUST DONT D3S3RV3 TO DO SO 1S S3R1OUSLY G3TT1NG TO M3. 3SP3C14LLY W1TH JUST TH3 F4CT 1 K33P LOOK1NG 4T TH3 NUMB3RS 4ND JUST TH1NK1NG 4BOUT WHY 1T'S L1K3 TH1S, TH4T 1T'S 4LL SOM3HOW MY F4ULT D3SP1T3 MY F4M1LY B31NG TH3 R34SON 1 US3D TO JUST 34T OUT OF BOR3DOM. 1 4LSO JUST CONT1NU3 TO COMP4R3 MYS3LF TO OTH3R P3OPL3 1 KNOW 4ND JUST W1SH1NG 1 COULD B3 L1K3 TH3M 1NST34D OF B31NG... HOW 1 4M.
// 1 4LSO JUST K33P W1SH1NG 1 COULD P4SS B3TT3R. L1K3 1 D3SP3R4T3LY W4NT TO PR3S3NT HOW 1 W4NT, BUT 1 C4NT. NO M4TT3R HOW H4RD 1 TRY 1 PROB4BLY N3V3R W1LL LOOK HOW 1 W4NT TO. 4T TH3 L34ST 1 JUST W4NT TO B3 FL4T, G3T R1D OF TH3 W31GHT ON MY CH3ST, PHYS1C4LLY 4ND M3T4PHOR1C4LLY. H4H4.
// ON 4 MUCH SOFT3R NOT3, 1'V3 B33N M4K1NG SOM3 K4ND1 4S 4 M34NS TO P4SS TH3 T1M3, SO 4T L34ST TH4TS B33N FUN >:]