neutral
Current mood:  blah

hello.new entry ig. 
just like i said, i'd forget to write...
i'm a prophet.
theres nothing in particular i want to talk about so i'll ramble ig.
heres three recent things.
1) i saw a coyote today. it made me happy. 
it was super cute. i was running up the hill and saw this little creature. since i thought it was a dog and since im scared of dogs, i stopped. i looked around for another person, an owner but saw nothing. then i let out a sigh. i guess the little dude smelled me or heard me idk so its little ears went up and he looked my way. we kinda just stared at each other. 
i didnt keep going. i was in its territory so the last thing i wanted to do was stress it out. idk maybe if i kept going i wouldve been eaten. 
wouldnt that be funny?
2) i told jaden to stop crying and to go to sleep last night. lol was it harsh?
i didnt mean to, i was actually asleep. 
he hasnt been feeling well. i feel bad.
i cant do anything.
ive recommended some stuff. its his choice. 
i told him i would make him little recipies and i would. so imma start working on that. 
hes young and if he helps himself now, it can be of great benifit later in his life. ik if we do something about it now, we can make it go away.idk. maybe. 
its what i hope and wish.
3) i told my therapist that ik im worthy of living a happy life. i think she thought i didnt think like that. 
maybe in the past i did. not anymore. 
believe me, im worthy. 
but what i told her after was that that happy life isnt for me. mostly bc i dont think its possible to reach it. 
so yeah im worthy but that happy life is running away from me at full speed. i want it but it doesnt want me.

ah heres something else thats interesting
im sick of water. i cant do it. last night i drank like 60oz in a sitting. i was peeing like crazy. i think its funny.
...im finishing another 60oz right now. yikes.