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February 13th, 2021

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Gender: Female
Status: Married
Age: 37
Sign: Cancer
Country: United States

Signup Date:
June 30, 2020

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10/04/2020 05:36 PM 

Death Among the Living
Category: Blogging
Current mood:  crushed

     My husband's mom passed away yesterday morning. When Ryan told me, I cried. I was angry. I had so many questions that will never be answered. And then I realized... I had never cried for anyone in my family who passed away! I was never hurt by it. I didn't know my family. Sure, I have tons of happy memories, mostly with my cousins my age... but my family was not close with me. My grandpa passed away this year and no one even told me where the funeral would be! Like, I was not allowed to go to the funeral!
     I obviously cried when our daughter passed away! But, how is it that I cried so hard for someone I knew for a short period of time comparitively to my family? His mom and I were very close. We had many deep conversations. She lived with us for a few years! I truly, and deeply love her! I cried so much! She was so young, 57 years old! We don't know how she died yet, just that about 36 hours before, she said she wasn't feeling good!
     I am so angry! I refused to say good bye to her when she decided she would move to Texas with her dumbass selfish boyfriend. This guy refused to stop smoking around her while she was going through chemo and radiation and after when she was cleared! He just kept smoking inside the house around her. Then he got super sick himself, due to smoking. He lost his job and could no longer afford living where he was. She he went to Texas to live with his mom. She went with him! I didn't want her to go. I didn't want her to leave Ryan, her son! I knew it was a bad idea!
     I firmly believe if she hadn't left, she would still be here, happy! Breathing! She said she wanted to move back the last time we talked and we wanted to buya house with enough room for her to move back with us! That was our plan! But, now, we get to await for another container of ashes to put next to Kyra's on our dresser. 2020 officially sucks!

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