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halfway friends.
i am tired of having halfway friends
i'm tired of having to message first and always be the first person to ask to make plans and always be the one who gets left on read or delivered and always be the person who's an afterthought and only gets brought places because i asked if anyone was free. i'm tired of feeling unincluded and unloved and desperately having to scream into the void for help when i need someone to be there for me and still receiving nothing despite my best efforts to always be the first person there for everybody else and i am tired of wondering if it's something wrong with me or if people just aren't my type or if i'm reading too much into everything or if this is normal and this is just how friends treat you or if i am ever going to have a real friend who makes me feel whole and loved
and part of me believes i should just drop all of my halfway friends because they don't seem to care but i am terrified that if i do that, i will never make a full friend.
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