friends

i might actually have plans tomorrow and i'm excited. i miss going out and i miss my friends and i really, really miss ***. they came to see me yesterday & we went for a short drive just to catch up but we haven't gotten to really talk much lately and they kissed me before taking me home and i felt a little better about everything thats been going on lately but i just want to spend a few hours cuddled up with them and actually talk about how things have been between us. 
speaking of which, i contacted ******* the other day for the first time in a few months. i don't know why i did it, but i'm glad i did because we're friends again. i know everyone else in the group is gonna f*ckin tear into me for messaging him again, but i feel like things are different now and we've definitely both moved on. i just wanted our friendship back.
i'm lonely as f*ck here. i feel like i've lost a lot of friends lately and i'm trying so hard to maintain whatever friendships i can but i'm depressed as sh*t and it's hard. here's to hoping i don't lose ***.