lying in a bed next to a man who i do not love, on acid. its dark. i keep waking him up. he yells at me to go to sleep. he does, but i dont, i stay and i stare at his face, morphing into the man i do love. i wake him up again. 

i can't stare at that man's face, the man who comes around and f***s me like he's doing a set at the gym. the man who i can't say no to, because the first time i ever tried to say no he pushed me down and in so many ways i never got up. i think now, at least that wasn't the man i was sleeping next to.