Hi. So I joined here cuz all of you ppl look very cool and talk really cool and like really cool stuff. In real life I've literally never met an emo or a furry or heck even a punk. Maybe it's just cuz I don't get out much? Probably is.

 Back when I was in a big group of friends they usually treated me as the clueless loud child of the group, which, I mean, completely justified lul. I didn't know what was happening half of the time and I felt like I was always excited when they weren't. I also felt really stupid most of the time cuz I didn't get social stuff or remember anything, ever. But then I got into a top STEM high school and was very confused for months. I still think the only explanation was a failure in the admission system or something. But, thing is, now I'm in a school with a bunch of math gurus and chemistry nerds and they're awesome, but so, so much smarter than i'll ever be. Worse than that, I have no clue how to make friends. Don't know how I did it before, don't know why some people hang out with me now. Basically, I have no one to talk to at school. I've been trying really hard, and even gotten my anxiety somewhat under control, which I thought was the reason I couldn't talk. 

But nothing has been changing for months. I've been thinking, maybe I really am stupid or obnoxious or too quiet or just bland and boring. It would make sense? Obviously if I asked some people they would say I'm wrong. But maybe no-one really wants to admit that they or someone else is any of those things.

I was also thinking maybe there's something else wrong with me, like I have ADHD? But apparently its really over diagnosed and the pills make u depressed and anxious and not urself, so I guess I wouldn't want to be diagnosed even if by some chance I was. 

So uhh…. in conclusion.... I'm just gonna keep being an emo looser for a while longer, see if anything changes, and if it doesn't I guess Ill just draw cats for the rest of time.

heres a sonnng ^w^ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRQ0VBeh4vU