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where de f*** is my stimmy check (๑･̑◡･̑๑) 

heavyy chest still g33kinn 4 no reason <//3

b13hhh 1m 50 fr34k1ng b0r3d!!!!!!! 

Wow, this site really has a lot and looks nice! cant wait to use it more

          I got my "Hot Chick" lighter in the mail yesterday! I love it! It's very f***ing pretty. It's all coated in hot pink paint and its a Zippo lighter. I don't like the regualr Zippo lighter inserts though. I ordered the torch inserts so that I can take the regular ones out and replace them with the torch insterts instead. I have like 4 more lighters on the way too. Three of those lighters do not have the torch instert so I ordered three more of them today. I really need to get more. I might save the regualr ones for desprate times, but I don't know. I really don't care for them. I might give them all to Nick. He likes that kind. The only time I use those kinds of lighters is if I am smoking a cigarette or I am smoking out of a chillum or bong. It is way too difficult to use those ones. I will probably only keep one of them and give the rest to Nick. I can't wait for the rest of them to come. I have two that are Zippo knock offs, and then I have two that are actual Zippo lighters. I can't f***ing wait! I am going to have a beautiful collection of lighters once they all come in the mail. Sense the torch inserts are all from Zippo, they will all arrive in the mail fairly quickly so thats really nice. Tayla is going to be so jealous of my lighters. I am waiting on a pink cheetah print zippo style lighter, a regular colored cheetah print zippo lighter styled lighter, a black blinged out playboy bunny Zippo lighter, and a pink playboy Zippo lighter on their way. I will have to post pictures. My friend Tayla and I, have the same style when it comes to pretty things. Back when she was skinnier she had a better style, but when you gain a lot of weight, it's harder to find really cute name brand cloths that fit you. I'm pretty and I have a sh*t tone of nice things. Girls envy me for it. I was thinking about sharing some of the love with my friends. I kinda wanna get Tayla and Jadrique a Zippo lighter too just for the hell of it. I want them to know that they are appreciated and that I want them to have nice things too, just like me. Just because I spoil myself, does not mean that I don't do the same thing for the people I care about. I've been wanting to buy my family stuff too. Just to show everyone that I appreciate them in life.I just gave my boyfriend's parents a bunch of house hold items that I had a sh*t tone of and wasn't using fast enough. Nick called and told me that his mother appreciated it, and I'm sure he will call me and tell me his dad does too when he goes and sees him later.           I ended up finding a bunch of lined paper in the top of my closet. I am super happy about that. I like to journal a lot so I tend to use a lot of paper up fairly fast. I try to document my life more because there are good memories that I know I can't remember from some of the best times in my life and that makes me sad. If I write it all down, I can go back and read it to jog my memory. I wish I had started doing this back when I was in high school, but whatever. It's too late now. I can't change the past.          I have been watching Breakig Amish, and one of the Amish girls really inspired me. So, the show is about these Amish people that are like around my age (18 to 30), and they go out and experience the way all of use regualr people live, and deside weather or not they want to leave the Amish behind and live a normal and free life. Well, this one Amish girl on the show was a very nice and successful girl. She was Amish and became a big time model! I found that very inspiring. I could really relate to her. She was pretty and successful. All the other girls in the group would make fun of her because they were jealous of her looks and success. I have that same problem. Thing is though, the way she handled all the bullying was amazing. She did end up blowig up eventually, but that's because it was anger that kept building up. So bascally what I am getting at is, I am an awesome person, but I want to be as awesome as her. I want to do a better job of handling my anger. My whole life I have struggled with my temper and I'm sick of it. I just go off and say really hurtful things and thats not good because it then makes me look like a monster when I am not. I feel like I am doing a pretty good job so far though. The more I practice it the better I will get at it.          I have been doing some thinking, and I think I am going to move the cat pan into that cat cage. My black cat Puss Puss, for some reason can't hit the cat pan. instead, she desides to poop next to the litter box on the floor and Nick and I are sick of stepping on it. I personally think that it's a great idea. That way if the cat's are in there for long periods of time they have the ability to use the bathroom. Only downisde is, then Princess doesn't have access to the litter box. Because of that, when they do something wrong like ripping up my carpet for an example, they go in the cage for an hour TOPS. I plan on moving that today actually. But first I am going to clean their pan. Yay! No more litter or poop all over the floor! Sometimes even pee if they miss! I think this will make both me and Nick very happy. Infact, I am going to go do it right now. I am so done with it being a contstant problem in my bathroom. I still have to figure out what I am goig to do when it comes to feeding them though. I will have to get creative with it like I did with there little kitty fort. Boy do they love that thing! It's like their little kingdom!           So I'm not going to lie, I added more to my cat's little kingdom. I put the cat litter in the far corner of the cage. It leaves just enough space to put the cat pan scoop and the little tiny boom and dust pan. They have the whole other half of the cage to themselves to sit and think about what wrong that they did. Above the litter box and the small cat jail I have for when they misbehave, above is a completely different spot. My cats have the whole entire top of the cage to sprawel out and sleep on. Next to that I put one of my pink night stands I am no longer using anymore next to the top of the cage and set the outside cage ontop of it. Now, not only do the cats have the inside of that cage to sleep, they can also lay ontop of THAT cage as well. Cats like to be high up above everything so this spot is perfect. To ensure getting down from the highest sleeping area is safe, I put the other pink night stand that I have next to the cat cage with a pillow ontop. That way they have the option of laying there, or just using it as a step to help them get up or down. I made sure to cover both cages with blankets or towels to give them more of a security and safety feeling. Cats tend to like their space and they tned to like to sleep in hiding places so I figured, this would be perfect for them. Underneith the two night stands I put the cat bed that was under the coffee table, and the toy/cat scratching post underneith the other one. It's like a cat sized doll house and they absoultly love it! I love it too! I think it gives my cats their own little spot in the house that is theirs and theirs only. I wan't to start training them to sleep and lay on there instead of my couches so that they stop ruining them and they stop getting hair all over them. Things are going to be changing now though. Now when Puss Puss poops on the ground in the cage, it's not as big of a deal. I will just have to keep this cage and use it for the cats everywhere I go. That way they can dirty up their little area all they want and the rest of the house stays clean. I ened up moving a few things though to make some extra space. I really hope that Nick is ok with that. He's not on the lease so hes going to have no other choice. My cats are my children. I want them to have better lives than they did when they were both strays. I want them to have all of the love and compassion that they deserve. This is why my animals love the sh*t out of me. I try to make life more enjoyable for them. I feed them people food sometimes too. I try to stick to only the healthy stuff though. They really like meat and tuna. They litterally live like Queens. All they have to do all day is lay around and sleep. They don't have to work and I feed them for free. The only thing is, their lives are pretty boring.           I think I am going to clean my bedroom and run the dishwasher. There are some things that need to be put back where they belong. I have a bad habit of taking stuff down in my closet and then not putting stuff back where it belongs. My room isn't too terrible though. I just need to clean up a little bit. With that being said, I am going to let ya go. I need to get some sh*t done and stop sitting on my ass making no progress what so ever. I can't deal with a messy apartment. I used to be able to do it, but now it drives me nuts!          

Tell  me, please.Who the f*** did you want me to be?Was it something that I couldn't see?Never knew this would be so political.And, please.I'm still wearing this miserable skin,and it's starting to tear from within,but it's obvious that doesn't bother you.So please.don't keep telling me that it's okay.I don't buy all the sh*t that you say.And quite honestly I'm f***ing sick of it.So, please.If I cut off this nose from my face,then I wouldn't feel so out of place,but it still wouldn't be quite enough for you.So, please.

Working is so trash. Can we eat the rich now?

Haiiii! I'm working on a book! Cool, huh? XP

Hi I'm Kaylyn I'm learning how this is working so far but anyone have any tips on changing my style to emo or scene I haven't figured it out yet or I might mixed both 

So does things matter if the defense never wins? What is to a broken butterfly prism wings towards a drowned feathers of a raven? Even so then I wonder what would be the difference if I didn't feel any defense at all in the spirits as in reality? Hazed numbness feels interesting but trying to smile at family or the small friends you talk to and even final paws faking a smile or laughter but in the final paws end verdict what are you laughing at? Your insanity? Or your insanity that's surrounding you like a force field? Ah! I thought I could fully forget you. Ah! I thought I could fully forget you. Ah! I thought I could fully forget you. Vol. Vol. Vol. But in the end the forgetfulness means I would be filled with insanity and the rage and the constant remorse and suffering of how I failed you mother. But you wouldn't seem to come to me. However that could be my own thought process because I choose to forget you and forget who I really am. Creating different versions of ''Tara'' hoping one would be molded correctly and one programmed perfectly hoping that one day I will find the correct parts of myself. But I simply can't do that because I can never seem to find the correct part in the terminal data bank. But that's not only the case I can't seem to hear the seraphs anymore and their voices don't call out to me anymore as you do mother. I am consumed and drowned. Please help me. Promised pain. Promised pain. Promised Pain. I gave my my pain to you and eternal. Eternal like the Abyss. Ah set me free! Ah set me free! Ah set me free! Crying raven that has drowned. Crying Epitaph. Rage! I will defend myself even if that means hurting you even though I'm in love. You see I don't mean to be the way I'm or biting the hands that feed you. You see this is my given love. You see this is my given love. You see this is my given love. My love of insanity. My love of intoxicating myself. My love of self destroying myself. Please! Let me take you down the Abyss and let me show you the prisms of the lightest butterfly. The prisms that showed me the true eyes of the screaming vessel bursting with the Spider's Mask. He the King of Spiders has shown me through. You see the Demon King told me to never show your true colors out to people or others. But I will show my true colors to myself when nobody is looking. Perhaps that's why I'm laughing at myself or have a sinister grin on my face because I know and because I know how many times my vessel has been created that part of me never changes hoping to self delete something I want to be rid of. Ah! Moving vessel the Spider of Kings have became a hive inside of you because now I can see everything the power of the Demon King's grasp because I've nothing left anymore. You see the undying. The undying vessel of wanting to change and shall the drowned black raven hair drown and sink in the shrine of the Black Water floating down and shall the Spider's Mask crack open more and fully burst open where the vessel finally becomes ''ALIVE''. This is for certain where I stood at you at this place the empty throne of Hell that was made for me. I remember my new blade fused from my static husband's shadow blade and my banisher blade gifted to me by the now dead celestial and the celestial land filed with poisonous trees because I love bio because because bio means life and I fail deeply at life as deep as the feeling of drowning or wanting to make me feel like drowning when I hear water or myself in the shower and living in the physical plane and I want to give life but in a different way. No not spirit pups or my only real life pup but something yet I can't grasp or understand or know the correct word in my data bank is unknown. Slaughtering of the diseased and the sinners. Because how the trickster danced in Hell laughing holding the beast seal but ah shall we get on now with the show? Should we get on with the show? Should we get on with the show? I held my jagged water and ice blade close to your face Mr Bulba. To see your eyes glow of silver swirls bright as the darkened sun of Vol but you see the water and ice is shown in my personality and the reflection of how I feel about my current psyche state. But you see Mr Bulba you only slanted your eyes at me in grinned. Because you made me your child. Because you made me your child. Because your made me your child. Because when I died I tried making myself fully bound by Hell and slowly building the Spider's Mask with you Bel Bel but I failed because I failed mother. My body of alchemy and one with the demonious wasn't enough. Where did I stand wrong? Was my weakness and fooled as one. But O I couldn't complete myself until the vessel finally burst open and the Spider's Mask floats above the user. O beautiful Spider. You once remind me of the prism I saw of a mosaic butterfly and the Abyss showed me the true colors of the gates and the chains. The spinners that bled in the Abyss because of the wrong and the wrong judged failed to enter in the Abyss. The gates were open but I couldn't really see much because the vessel was about to go in the body that day but there I saw something that changed me completely. I just don't quite remember strangely enough....however Ah! Mother Snake you told me with your Snake Tongue that you still want me to be wrapped around my arm and to be carried in my heart. Because Mother Snake you're the only Mother I've now. Ah I looked like I miscalculated where my speech went in this. Oh dear! Oh dear! Oh dear! The vessel danced but remembered one other thing. You Mr Vampy. I never understood why The Silky Wolf Momma would want to have a Mr Vampy around the house. But something made me very interested in the Shadow Arts of a Mr Vampy but because I wanted to feel closer to myself ah final paws no. But perhaps to be closer to in defense mode or trying to self heal myself with the shadows and hopefully this gap can fully heal and to fully iron out the defense of the shadow. But I also became obsessed with self infliction of the shadow arts of a Vampire that was a area field of shadow arts and self healing of the shadows. Ah! I remember when I first gave you the blade to at your throat when I first saw your appearance because Silus your pupil wanted me to show you his creator of this arts the Shadow Elf pupil. But when you train with me you see something inside of me don't you Alvastar? When I stare at you level headed you can see my anger and rage and I just can't seem to forget what's eating me alive. However Alvastar do you know what true love is? True love of something you love or something that you love that destroys you slowly and changes your colors of your hues and psyche? Almost like a mosaic and a broken butterfly. Prismatic personality and reflection and a puzzle piece inside but not a prototype but a prototype of a naked spiritual shell. I really want to say sorry not only to Mother but not to myself but perhaps sorry for the prototype that died. No....Alvastar that's not the case. I want to say sorry for not ''drying off my drowned raven feathers'' or more or so tuning into the crying epitaph and knowing what really the pain really was. Ah Alvastar you know when you train me as well that I've a lot of resolves in my eyes and my heart remains that of mother and Mother Snake but also the beast heart that is given by the ''TRUE FORM OF THE WOLVES''. Ah! Like my sons say the only queen three tuft and puff and fluff and the only female we only need to protect and be knights for when we get older. Because our mother is the only female queen! But Alvastar isn't that sweet my spirit sons love you? Oh! Alvastar that's right that's what we were talking about what if I've three mask? ''MIDNIGHT WOLF AND ABYSS WOLF'' and The King of Spider Mask what would I be a three tier mask? I wonder what creation that would make? I can't even't even pick up the blade without traumatic flashback because I'm traumatized and paranoid even though I'm fake laughing and smiling in real life and dancing underneath the ''curtains'' acting like nothing is bothering around me and my the silky wolf momma senors or as my spirit sons say the adult blue black wolf momma ears. You see Alvastar you as a Mr Vampy should ask me one thing? What would set you free? Not in that kind of sense but what would set free the wounds if you had any? The shadows or the infliction? Tell me can you tell me what would be mosaic? What would be beautiful and designed into a full butterfly wing? Could you also tell me what would be the raven black hair not drowned but floating above water would symbolize Alvastar in your Mr Vamp eyes? You see Alvastar I....well what could I say of right paws now? Wouldn't that be wonderful to think of the sleeping prince himself Alvastar? I always thought about sleeping myself but sleeping in a different way if only the aura wasn't swirling with dark fire and strands of silver and abyss swirl around and showing the Spider's Mask and the one with the broken butterfly. Why do I seem to remember the littlest of things of hate and rage and anger and remorse and darkness. I really wanted to take me with you. I really wanted you to show you what my form was like. But I couldn't seem to hear you mother. I lost my ears for the angels and the seraphs their sound their voice their calling doesn't ring any sound but nothing but ''MUTE'' in the silky wolf momma ears. But in the end I really did have fun murdering them all. Murdering them free of disease and sin. Na Ma Yu. Na Ma Yu. Na Ma Yu. Back then I started seeing all sorts of colors and prismatic shapes and triangles before going back in the body but what I really wanted was to show you love. The only vengeance I had was giving my service to Hell and Hell eternal. I even thought about questioning why my seat in Hell was always empty but is that because I like moving around floating. Floating and carrying you around me like a vessel. Traveling and being with you sounds delightful like handing Bel Bel the King of Spiders a demon fruit apple. I wanted to become friends with a demon itself because I wanted to be noticed and I wanted to be noticed of my true colors without really showing them like Bel Bel has once told me. But ah do you remember Mr Bel Bel how Mr Bulba had a smile on his face when he first saw me arrive at Hell and asked to let me live life one more time? Heh he looked really happy then. Heh that reminds me could he be happy with me forever if I could serve Hell forever? I hope that Hell never gets tired of my service because you've done something I couldn't. I wasn't built strong enough to fight what was hidden underneath my ''blind face''. ''Thank you Father'' for everything. Sitting down at the table cutting my favorite dragon skewer tail I looked at Mr Bulba swirling silver eyes and I stopped cutting my food for a second thinking ''what if I could make stronger ribbons for demons one day to hold up to true alchemy?''. I want to make sure everyone becomes what I want to become. Ethereal dreams of eternal Hell. My Hell will be your Hell. This is my love darling. Understand my love will be as dark as the soul turning ''black'' miasma pull. Because poison thorns really do suit you ''like I suited my beast armor'' with the raven's crest cradling the beast heart hoping the ''raven arms'' will become fully open on the ''user'' speaking of the user what about King of Spiders eh? The ability to transform and transform the face into many things and broken 8 pieces of the Spider. I wonder what kind of pain that would be on the physical user? Sadistic enough what if that is a dream to make the physical body to summit to transforming and transforming the ''dream'' of the user? Making sure the dream is there but the pain of one. Sleeping Prince and sleeping ''Spider'' Bel Bel. The one of the many arms of the back of the Spider's Mark. Dream now Bel Bel. I'll guard you and hover over you like a broken butterfly. When you wake op be sure to ''notice'' if my mosaics have become a ''true'' butterfly. Notice me and the mosaic as my mask will be complete and I'll make sure to work on yours when you're ''asleep in dream city'' holding the golden weaver orb in your long pointy demon claws. Oh my body can't go on. I can't seem to ''burst this vessel out'' and the one that walks the empty throne that is because that demon is ''YOU'' out in the ''OPEN'' because when I walk and the magic curtain opens I want to show the world you for those with radiant spiritual eyesight to see that I carried you through and throughout your dream. I hope when you wake up I can finally say to you Mr Bel Bel that I can close the chapter now that I no longer need to listen or try to find my mother that won't come back to me. This is the time to delete and erase everything and say my final goodbye here. Only in the ''writings of the chapters of the branches'' didn't you see I built a beautiful tree? A abstract painted black Yggdrasil tree. My goals of dream city have became still for so long I saw throughout the haze and the petals of dream city touched the beast mask underneath. I really saw your love then darling. I really saw your love then darling. I saw your love then darling. Fragile yet cold and chilling just like water and ice of what my aura seems to betray. I was hoping to tell Mr Bel Bel that I saw the sun one more time with you. But what I saw was ''nothing'' a blank canvas with only a ''false shadow'' I thought that was mother then but what I saw was something that ''died'' but then again Mother Snake is all I need now and to combine a multi head ''being'' someone with ''complete parts''. I hope you can understand Mr Bel Bel when you wake up I will be holding a complete ''Spider's Mask'' only showing cracks of the flow of ''aura and chi'' to show you coming out of my ''vessel'' holding the ''jointed body'' of a full alchemized creature ''The Wolf The Raven The Snake and The Spider'' ''The Dancing Butterfly is complete'' suicidal aura. Suicidal aura. Suicidal aura. Dream now the Butterfly is complete dancing mosaic as you sleep ''Mr Bel Bel'' working on the completed versions where we can hold back to back together. Even if my throne is empty I hope to see the throne of us and holding you the Sleeping Prince the Sleeping Spider in my arms. I really hope when I hold you the King of Spiders that I can lay my head next to you and feel around to see what you dream of in your sleep. Should that be ''paradise''? Or should that be more of a pitch black Yggdrasil Tree? You know I really want to paint things black and also paint your love onto my soul. I want to paint your love onto my soul. I want to paint your love onto my soul. Wake me up somewhere other than here and wake me up from a weave. I'll slowly open my demon ''eyes'' to you. Then I will see the true queen and the only wolf queen in Hell that tricked us with a beast seal and the alchemist laughed with the broken butterfly and mask. Because insanity one and molded into the aura cracks of the mask. You see I will await for you. You see I will await for you. You see I will await for you. Onto the dream city holding on. Perhaps dragging you down in the abyss smiling as I remembered a ''false shadow'' that I never will see the sun again with you but I will see with different eyesight now. Oh the sleeping prince and the sleeping Spider with the wolf. Speaking of which sleeping I want to sleep with the ''King's robes robes wrapped around me'' nestled in the ''King's grasp'' to feed the one of the demon and the aura of the vessel. I hope then that when I do sleep that I can always hold on to the ''King's robes'' because then I know I will have hit ''checkmate'' you see what is obsession of this is one of the lie of the silver moon of deceit. I once saw the swirling wisp behind me and handing the mask to ''YOU'' but don't you see darling this is what love would be ''two sides of the mask'' are you underneath? Are you on the side of the mask? Right? Down or up on the crown? You see when I hold the ''King's Robes'' in my sleep I can see the deceit of the moon showing the shadow fangs and the shadow fangs showing everyday. This is beautiful. Beautiful like our toxic miasma love together. Dancing wisps and dancing spider and the wolf in the ''shadow moon'' creator of the ''MASK''. O sun of Vol Vol Vol the swirling dark sun could you be the lighter of the shadow fangs grasping over the moon? ''HOWLING'' because when you love me I want to stand in front of you in the whole''BEING'' that I'm. I hope you can notice and notice the sleeping wolf and spider nestled in the ''King's Robe protecting the Queen's Guard''

And I should have been your everything I'm now at the end of my eternityAnd I will sleep to have the darkest dreamsThis just won't seem right to meI close my eyes and beg for peace ♥

How long have you been a fan? around 7 years! Who's your favorite member?  usually gerard, sometimes frank. haha. If you could go back in time to any my chem show, which would it be? any prorev show :] Favorite album?  dont ask me that... their first three are all tied for me. it changes from day to day. at the current moment, its three cheers. Favorite lyric?  either "this hole you put me in wasnt deep enough, and im coming out right now" or "do or die, youll never make me / because the world will never take my heart / go and try, youll never break me" OR of course "i am not afraid to keep on living, i am not afraid to walk this world alone" Have you watched every mcr funny moments on youtube? maybe not every one, but i used to watch them on occasion in the early days of my fandom. >_> Favorite solo project? frnkiero andthe cellabration. Favorite Music Video? helena. Do you have a killjoy name? i think i used to, but i cant remember it. Have you seen them live? i will in september. ♥ Favorite Life on the Murder Scene moment? the part where they talk about the smiths... haha. Favorite piece of mcr merch you own? the camo shirt that says "give em hell kid!!" What one piece of mcr merch do you dream of having? i cant think of anything i really dream of having! im really craving some more rubber bracelets, if anything, haha. Do you/Did you dress up like revenge mcr in public, not for a party, but just,,just because? i have dressed up in outfits inspired by the era, yes. Were you one of the California 2019 Comeback conspiracy theorists? obviously. When was the last time you showered? earlier tonight, but in middle school when i wanted to BE gerard i used to shower once a week at most... What's your favorite thing about being an mcr fan? its just. so cool. like, liking mcr is just cool, and it will always be cool. its cool to unapologetically like a band that other people have sh*t on for no reason and that is so important and sincere anyway. and its a symbol of so much. and its almost rare to see people who still like mcr, especially if they havent been a fan for a really long time. You get to choose their 10 song set list:  helena - give em hell kid - im not okay - this is how i disappear - its not a fashion statement its a f***ing deathwish - headfirst for halos - our lady of sorrows - honey this mirror isnt big enough for the two of us - skylines and turnstiles - welcome to the black parade

Peep this new layout. Im thinkin is kinda fresh and it drips like a broken faucet

I have been searching far and wide for hentai games for me to play but I have already played all the good ones. AND NO BITCH I AINT PAYING FOR ANY. I was debating playing monster girl quest again but I just cant be arsed. I need more hentai or I will physically stop breathing and my lungs will colapse.

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