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I'm trying to figure out if I am going to pull an all nighter. Sometimes I do that on the nights that I have work super early because I know that I won't wake up for work. Once I fall asleep, it is hard to wake up unless I have at least 12 hours of sleep. Last night I only had about 11 hours of sleep. I am tired as f*** because I didn't get 12 hours of sleep. I don't know what is wrong with me. How am I tried after 11 hours of sleep. I don't get it. I'm tired like I want to fall asleep but I don't want to be tired as f*** tomorrow before work. Ugh. I can't make up my mind. F*** it. I think I'm going to just stay awake. I might take a nap I don't know god I hate not being able to make up my damn mind.

One million miles away and somehow you still manage to wrap your hands around my heart and squeeze as hard as you can. Didn't you hear the news? You're so last season. With sheepskin on my back and blood on my palms, I tossed you into the well, fed you to ravenous beasts, and sold you for coin to men I knew not. Despite my efforts, you climbed the ladder and reclaimed your throne. Mr. Geppetto, could you cut the strings from your fingertips? I promise I'm a real girl. I think you branded my brain and left prints on my medulla as a calling card.  You're the stain on the bed sheets that never washes out. But I'll be damned if I stop trying.   abby 

currently playingi have 2 things of homework due as term has started up again. one of these is 4 days late, which is 40% off the mark im going to be getting. i emailed the teacher about it and she said it matters more that i research the guy the task is about than me getting it into her, which is probably to get me to actually hand it in unlike the other time we had a task like this. im mostly done with the actual research, but one section of this task we need to do is analyse two of the guys artworks. this is easier since i can look up what its meant to be about and what other people think it is and stuff but that's where my motivation's faltered. this isn't even the only task i have. the other over-the-holidays thing that i did not remember and thus didn't do was an essay task in english lit. it's about australian literature, the best kind of literature to think or do anything about, clearly. it's only 1000 words but i probably need to do the art task first (which i am stuck on) before i should do this one. it's due tomorrow, so at least it's not late. the teacher says she cares about me but she also said it in a way that feels like she doesn't really care about me. she said to ignore my marks that i got last semester cos they're in the past (cool, works ok) because i'm going to work way worse if i'm feeling super bad like i was because i got 10/25 on a spoken panel discussion (which i mostly blame because i was unable to get a word in because everyone else is more confident than i am at the things i know about). the marking key itself (which the teacher said she didn't like) had a guideline of 12 marks as the minimum score, as the "limited" section had it as the lower bound of marking if you gave all limiteds. it shouldn't have made me so distraught, and i was berating myself for crying and stuff and i'm not entirely sure if my self harm was genuine or attention seeking, but i was just a mess at that moment.anyway. she said i wouldn't be able to do work as well if i was as distraught as i was (which is true) but because of how she said it it felt less genuine and more a push to do something so i could be a good student. thinking of it like that makes sense in the background but putting it into words like this makes me question what her motivation should be? does she want me to be a better student because she cares about me for some reason or is it that she wants a better average for her class to show off how good at teaching she is or what?whatever it is, i still feel like im a lost cause for any help.anyway can everyone yell at me to do work

If you're reading this, repost it with your own version of the alphabet and a blank version!! Don't give any same answers as the person you've copy/pasted this from!(made by May Skelly, user id 220780 - taken from ........)Vivvy's version of the alphabet!A is for androids are better than iphones imoB is for butt jokes will never not be funnyC is for crying glowstick juice is my aestheticD is for dying is overratedE is for everyone deserves basic human respect!F is for fuuuuuuuuuck the public education systemG is for geese are weirdH is for hello kittyI is for i eat too many sweetsJ is for Julian CasablancasK is for kmsL is for lychee bobaM is for mental health matters!! and mine is failing oopsN is for nopeO is for oofP is for phone apps, friendproject needs oneQ is for queens, all of uR is for r*tard is a slur and needs to be treated like oneS is for shiitpostingT is for time, which im running out ofU is for uranium.... BOMBS!!V is for Vampire Weekend broke up and im sadW is for why? X is for xanax didnt work for me, so now im always anxious (((:Y is for your mom gayZ is for zoned outBLANK COPY:If you're reading this, repost it with your own version of the alphabet and a blank version!! Don't give any same answers as the person you've copy/pasted this from!(made by May Skelly, user id 220780 - taken from ........)...................'s version of the alphabet!A is forB is forC is forD is forE is forF is forG is forH is forI is forJ is forK is for L is for M is forN is forO is forP is forQ is forR is forS is forT is for U is forV is forW is forX is forY is for Z is for 

Hope this collection of pictures will give you a neat perspective of some science topics (Yes I know it's imgur, too modern, but you will like these)>Pythagorean Theorem (math): https://imgur.commoDHTKh>If a giant disco ball at the same distance of ISS revolved around Earth (astronomy): https://imgur.com/FTeAKrr>Visualization of when you take a photo with a phone (engineer): https://imgur.comoC8j4Kn>How many people are born vs. how many died in history (Statistics): https://imgur.com/cpHrPyQ>Laminar flow (Physics) ignore the caption to avoid a spoiler: https://i.imgur.com/INKrGUS.gifv>Cross Sections (Earth/Chemistry): https://i.imgur.com/4n7hroi.jpg>Re-framing Perspective (Reconsidering assumptions): https://i.imgur.com/gz4R6ty.gifvThat's all I got, hope you enjoy.

Yeah, Cain broke up with me pretty fast.He told me he couldn't see it working out, and that he needed to be by himself.If I'm being honest then I'm pretty heartbroken, but I guess it wasn't a great relationship anyway.

Hypercam Registered 2LOOKING AT THE CORE OF TODAYALL THE  SCIENCE ARE DELAYNOBODY SEEMS TO BE OKAYWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJust wanting to break off the tension of the 2nd most depressing blog forum on the internet.

10/20/2004 - A cloudy evening.Dear Diary, yesterday, I walked in school, earphones plugged in, wearing my brand new black striped hoodie, sneakers and Bleeding Star shirt, and some black eyeshadow with red, to make for a very dramatically awesome entry. Even though I heard someone yell something at me, but couldn't quite make out what it was. But that wasn't the most awesome thing that happened today! There's a new, cute guy at school! I'm kinda shy so I wouldn't go talking to him but the teacher placed him next to me and he started talking to me and it turns out, he likes the same bands as me! He has some kind of really colorful and happy style but has some kind of bleeding monster on his shirt and spiky belts! It's quite different from everyone else so I love it! So far, he is very kind and I'm quite surprised, he even spoke up when someone bumped into me and laughed when I almost tripped! Oh no! I need to finish my science homework now, I'll tell you more!11/08/2004 - A Windy NightDear Diary, I'm sorry I haven't written in a while, I was quite busy. A lot of things happened these last weeks, and I don't really know how to feel about it all, but I am still very happy. Let me explain it to you. Up until yesterday, me and the cute guy only got closer, I got  his name, number and know where he lives now. His name is Evan, but there is one detail he hadn't told me, but I'll get back to that later. Anyway, we talked a lot in class, and even Lisa noticed me getting closer to him. He has bright blue eyes, and I've honestly tried to keep myself from constantly staring but I just couldn't. He didn't seem to have picked up on it though so it's alright. I kept wanting to be as close to him as I could at all times, so eventually I realized I had a crush on him. Ofcourse me being me would not want todo anything about it, I'd just jump to conclusions every time he did something nice for me. And something of that sort kinda happened. He was busy this weekend he'd told me but he asked me if we could "go to the park on monday? We could goof around and eat icecream". A date you'd say, well, not exactly. I said yes and today was the day. I went to school and saw him in a few classes but he was gone for the last 2 classes. That fact made me excited as I thought of how he may have been putting up some kind of romantic picnic,or maybe looked for something nice to wear. Later, I went to the park. I had put on a nice dress, striped tights and Converse, and had nicely done my makeup. But when I got there, I was introduced by Evan to Izzy. Evan then explained that he was quite scared to tell me and he took his time to get to know me and to be sure... That he could admit he was gay and has a boyfriend... Izzy. Because I would accept him and his boyfriend.But, I guess the good thing is that I now have two new friends instead of one. It was quite a wild day. To think he had skipped the last classes to make out with Izzy. I mean, they are pretty cute together though. I'm just a little taken by surprise, and I'm not sure how to act. Enough for now, I'll keep you updated!

10/15/2004 - A windy and cloudy yet not too cold afternoon.Dear new diary, I'm April Lily King, I'm 16, and I live with my parents. They're quite rich, and very kind although my mom can be quite intrusive and my dad a little absent most of the time because he loves his job, and his precious car. So, I'd say I'm living quite a good life, except at school. You see, I'm not the one to have lots of friends, except for Lisa, but she has other friends too, while I mostly only have acquaintances, so she's often with them instead of me. I don't mind, although when someone insults me, I'd like someone to have my back, but I can deal with it pretty well on my own anyway. I get bullied a lot but it's never really gotten to me, since I quite like being what they'd call the outcast. Most likely I've been called emo before by my classmates, and even by Lisa, except she didn't mean to hurt me unlike the others. I do have an edgy look, but I'm quite proud to be different from all the others. Lisa usually gets in a lot of fights over people pushing her around for her pink hair, but she doesn't know about how much I get pushed around for my jet black hair with blonde highlights, covering about half of my face. (I'm surprised I haven't turned blind yet, but I just won't cut my hair.) The only time it gets to me is when people criticise my art, which is why only one of the teachers has seen my doodles, along with my mom. I can't trust people about it. Or when I got beaten up, but that only happened once and the boy had anger issues, I've been told. I still don't know why he hated me as much as he did, but he did. I also have a dog called Cinnamon Roll, Cinna for short. I love her the most in the family, and she got her name because she actually looks like a cinnamon roll. She's a daschund (a wiener dog if you prefer) and she's very fat, but healthy. She's a spoiled dog but all she wants is affection and she will eat about anything you'd give her, but don't you DARE touch her precious green carrot toy or she might bite your hand right off. I like music a lot, I love nature and walks around town and in Central Park (Oh yeah, I live in New York!), I like the rain, autumn, the cold and hate the warm, I like complaining although I'm happy, I like my family and my dog and drawing. I don't really like school but my grades are alright. I think that'll be all for now, I'll tell you more about my life some other time!

I cut my hair, as I previously mentioned, and I massively regret it because now my fringe has died and it's gonna take another year to grow it back to how it was I only really did it because of everyone harassing me, ridiculing me, calling me a girl and a sissy and everything. I was fed up of it, and I changed myself instead of the way I saw things. Now I've lost the one thing I actually felt confident about and I'm massively insecure about how I look. I'm so annoyed with myself..

Hmmmmm. Is that so? I just ate lots of sweets and cakes and ice creams If so you shall drink some tea without sugar Music... Music is the matter "Instinctive push YOU BETTER LOCK YOUR DOORS!!!!!" Screaming right? screaming right!! now that.. SCREAMING I AM GENOCIDE! So after updating my pictures kinds of wrecked online getting extreme killogic mindeeeeeeed CKY to Bleed the sky I want to express what I do on my stage by my self alone I got .50 AE Israeli Brain detonation magnum I pursuit my guitar playing performance and resulted blowing gas blow back from my right butt pulling my hand gas airsoft 3 times... 1 for my love 1 for my truth 1 for my attraction so in my mind which 1 of 3 strikes your brain is the matter i was striking pose with guitar and came up with this way of playing along with my DIY Music see ya yeah

My boss is going on holiday next week.I couldnt be happier, a whole week where I wont have to see, talk or interact with him.It makes me feel like I'm getting a holiday.It's interesting, i have had a lot of different jobs in a lot of different industries.I have met a lot of different people through work, some of i have liked, some I have despised.but I have never despised anyone as much as I despise the pedantic, braindead f***wit who i currently work for.When I was young I always told myself I would never end up in the position I am currently in, working for a person I hate, working longer than average hours just struggling to scrape by.The real world certainly came knocking.I never found my niche, and I dont know where else to look.

THE MYSPACE ABOUT ME SURVEYTELL US ABOUT YOURSELFname:  Lindsaynickname:  Lyndseyhow old are you: 19zodiac sign: Aquariuscurrent location: Nashvilleeye color: Blue/Greyhair color: Blackhair type:  Straight and Thinwhat's your middle name: Taylorshoe's you wore today: Converseyour weakness: Chocolateyour fear: Heights, drowning, and spidershave you ever ridden a mechanical bull: no   do you want to: nogoal you would like to achieve this year:  get a carfirst thought when you wake up: anything new on instagram?best physical feature: eyes?who is your bestest friend: Her name starts with an Fwhen is your bedtime: when f***in everyour most cherished memory: i don't really knowpepsi or coke: cokemc donalds or burgerking:  mcdonaldssingle or group dates: depends on whowhat is the last song you sang?: a miw one loldoes playing the guitar make a girl/guy more attractive: YESwhat is your biggest pet peeve:  nail bitingdo you drink: noever been drunk:  nodo you smoke: yesdo you "SMOKE": no do you sing: nowhat color underwear do you have on: blackdo you want to go to college: maybehave you ever been in love: yesdo you want to get married: yesdo you believe in yourself:  nodo you believe in others: yesdo you like thunderstorms: sometimesdo you play an instrument: yeswhat do you want to be when you grow up: idek :(what country would you like to visit: Italyhow many CD's do you own: 30ishhow many DVD's do you own: Close to 100, most of them aren't minehow many tattoo's do you have: nonehow many piercings do yo have: nonehow many things in the past do you regret: nothingFAVORITESshoes: vansradio station: i hate the radio haahadrink: dr peppercar: i dont really care for carsplace: Disney World lmaosong:  wayy too manymovie: the craftmoment: when my head hits the pillow and im about to drift asleepcolor: redmeal: mac and cheeseIN A GUY/GIRLfavorite eye color: bluefavorite hair color: black or bleach blondeshort or long hair: longheight: idc as long as they're taller than mebody type: thindoes ethnicity matter: nopiercings: nose and lipstattoos: yesssBED SIDE MANNERdo you think you are attractive:  rarelyare you attracted to someone who does not know it: they might know it lolwould you like to be someones fantasy: depends on whohunter or hunted: bothdo you kiss with your eyes closed or open: closed ?a little or a lot of tongue: a little goes a long way sisolder or younger:  not too younger and not too olderlights on/lights off or candle light:  candlelightdo you like to cuddle after:  yusdo you like to cuddle in general: yusssRIGHT NOWwhat is todays date: 7/12/18what time is it: 2:58amwho are you thinking of: my bfwhat are you listening to: silencedo you love someone: yes do you know where your mechanical bull is:  my wHatdoes someone love you:  yesis it raining:  nohow many myspace friends do you have: this isn't myspace but i think i have like 10 on hereare you happy: yea i guess so

She says.. "Forever me. With me Yuto..." Im forever with you hold and hug me tightly I lay on your chest .... I feel hurt and strange you are my motherly love.. Clouds and sunlight I shoved flower in her mouth half shes dead and beautiful I touch her broken body. Such a beautiful visage. Way she has her British pale skins with blue eyes. Skinny bones and black hair. I love her til bones her broken mentality lets her self just keeps breathing.. "Where did you get scars on knee?"I asked. "By myself "she says.." you are just doll out of box I said."

(I'm sure it's all my fault),I ruin every day I wake to.I ruined myself,I miss the way things were,One minute ago.I'm drowning in my own self-loathing,I'm slowly getting more impatient,(I can't get anywhere).I'm thinking of a reason,I should expect more of myself ever again.It's nothing I'm not used to,I'm only setting myself up for failure.I'm only dying for the joy of it all,Because it seems so much more fun than living like this.I don't, no I don't want to lose it all,I don't know if I want to lose it all,I'm sure I don't want to lose you,But almost everything else I could do without.