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Browse All Blog Posts
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✬ᴀꜱᴛʀᴀ✬
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02/27/2024 12:36 PM
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the best book everrrrrrr
omgomgomgomgomg i just read the most amazing book everit's called "the perfect world of miwako sumida" and the author is clarissa goenawan. here's what it's about:miwako sumida has k1lled herself. ryusei, (her boyfriend), and chie, (miwako's best friend), try to find out more of the details. it's written so well omg. it's one of those books where when you're reading it, you're so focused on it that you never want to stop reading, and when you finally stop, you keep thinking about it all day. ever since i read this i can't find any books i like because none of them are as good. i also want to just say that it does contain these subjects:- su1c1de- r4pe- ab0rti0n- bullyingthank you so much for reading this, please read this book as well it is literally amazing
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EllisHomicide
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02/26/2024 09:53 AM
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in this life i'd let you drink all my beer
i put our son on timeout that day. and he has been in timeout ever since. one day after another. i knew very early on that i could not love someone whom i was also able to hate. why would i throw up my guts behind your back and then swallow all the conflict-induced bile the moment you turned around? i'm certain you felt the same way. no number of conversations concerning cinema could erase the eventual disrespect and disagreements that eventually came around. quote me directly... and ask me to find the next way out. these were problems bigger than all the steps our shaky, two left feet could take.take the child, you told me through crackled, choppy audio. keep the monkey because he is a symbol of the love you would not be able to give me anymore. he knew our initials inscribed in a heart beneath his tail became meaningless long before you even said a word.......and you do not know the night i saw red, wondering why love had to make me feel like a charity case, begging for the tiniest bits of what "more" could be. hot tears flowing down my cheeks and dripping down my chest. screaming until all my lungs knew was YellYELLyellyellYELL and ringing your phone just to beg for an answer. squeezing your "symbol of love" with my fists until i could feel the plush disintegrate from inside because up until that point love had meant compromise (and not being in disbelief thinking i'm insane).he sits in the corner now. along with that pillow of your face i lost in the sea of trinkets and furniture inside my room. i used to wake up to reminders of you in bed and now i cannot even function properly if i am reminded with the most fleeting memory of who you once were to me.i thought i would be able to relearn to love you. i thought lying in your embrace in the grass would be like a careful, memorized dance we would still know the steps to. and i quickly realized it wasn't when i could not bring myself to kiss you, your face inches away from mine. i always used to.he is still in timeout. and i can't stare at the corner of my room for too long or else monkey will make me remember how you told me i'm helping you break the curse of groundhog day by loving you unconditionally. now we have to relive the motions of every single day pretending we never existed to each other. seeing the same sights and hearing the same sounds. again and again. over and over. except you're snipped out of the picture this time.i try and try to hate you, i try to remember the disrespect and the disregard. but i know that my heart is full, and it does not deny the fact that i once loved you. and i will always keep that love stored and preserved, even if i will not be able to experience it firsthand anymore. your flowers are still decaying on the table. your letter is still on my shelf. the book you gave me still stands alongside the other books i've never read. i can't bring myself to throw away my bracelet with your name on it. i still have our pictures, but i've hardly looked through them.i once loved you. and wishful thinking permits me to believe that fate will let me relearn how to love you again, allow me to retrace our steps and figure out where it all went wrong. because even if i once loved you like a devotee, how i feel for you is not transient. i still love you, as a lesson, because i will never be able to love you like i once did.i wish we stayed friends. i wish we kept it that way.
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kera
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02/26/2024 10:06 PM
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nervous poops :p
Current mood:
anxious
i just thought of my kinda crush calling/texting me and now i have to take a nervous sh*t, bye
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rama
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02/25/2024 09:15 PM
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hi :3
Current mood:
rockin
hi somebody be my friend ^__^
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bladee
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Britney
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02/25/2024 05:41 PM
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new blo g
Current mood:
animated
I wanna be like a millennial in 2006
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Niko
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leviathan
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02/24/2024 10:23 PM
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about me
infohii were the sorrows system :] u can call us sorrows or leviathan collectively!!we're a did system & are okay with terms like alters, parts, headmates, etc.also we change hosts often hhhghfhdjsome of us r otherkin :]im autistic, have stpd, & im visually impairedmay have periods of inactivity bc i forget this site exists sometimes kfjdjfjuhhh im queer in weird ways & dgaf about online lgbtq discourse 👍👍i dont rlly have a set dni, but pls get out if ur a terf/radfem, under 13, & endogenic ty 👍 about malcolmhi hello u can call me malcolm or brian !! im 18, use he/she or any pronouns, & im a current host :] if ur interacting w us it's most likely me fronting unless it isnt jfhdjfim a factive of that bisexual guy from placebo 👍also im a fallen angelkin :]uhhhh i rlly like velvet goldmine (if u couldn't tell from my profile), 70s rock, & energy drimks about noelhi im noel :] im 17 i use she/he pronouns & im bigender + transfem :Dim an rtc fictive 👍im probably a cohosti rlly like 50s-90s music, vintage fashion, queer culture, DID research, etc etc :D about salhai im sal im 16, neutrois, & use any pronouns idc 👍im a gatekeeper (as in the system role lol) & i rlly like old internet stuff, 90s grunge + shoegaze music, cats, & coffee :]i dont front often but ill sometimes be here 4 funsies :]] socialsspaceheytumblrtwitterfriendprojectkofilast.fm
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about me, about, system, did system, osdd system, did, osdd
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McK!!
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02/24/2024 07:18 PM
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!!!NEW!!!
Current mood:
betrayed
my friends who i thot were my friends dont like me... SO im looking 4 new oness! IN OUT-me -them-u -??
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paris hilton, friends, 2000s, clique
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Gabber
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02/24/2024 05:07 PM
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I didn't expect to be so saddened
I found a bunch of old VHS tapes in my dad's things. From the labels on them I recognzed they were old home movies that my dad had filmed when I was a very small kid. I don't even own a VHS player anymore so I sen them to a place that could convert them to digital format so I could watch them online. When I got the digitized versions sent to me I was keen to watch them, see the old memories brought to life. I wasn't exxpectng the sadness they'd make me feel.The oldest ones were filmed when I was about 2 - 3 years old, when my parents were still together. Seeing them as a happy couple, together, in the same house, made me so sad because I know that in very few years after these videos were filmed is when their marital problems started, the arguments, the mean spirited comments, the eventual divorce.Also the house itself, this was the house that they ended up losing around the time of the divorce, my dad's business started to go bad and the house got foreclosed on. My dad loved that house. It was on acreage and it was supposed to be his heaven on earh. It represented the fruits of his hard work and sanctuary from the real world after rising above his sad and abusive childhood.In the videos I am running around, playing in the acreage with the pets we had, blissfully unaware that it would soon come to an end and we would be moving into squalor. The pets that we had to give away or that vanished or died, they were alive and walking around in the videos, being petted by me. Seeing myself so young and innocent, enjoying playing with toys and genuinly enjoying being around both of my parents, who I adored at the time, it made me feel feel such sadness and depression to realize these years are well and truly gone and can never come back or be re-lived.Some of the later videos were filmed right at the time my parents were going through the divorce, so I get to hear my dad talking to his brothers, telling them about the arguments or occassionally he is just filming me playing and when I am out of earshot he would make comments to himself about his divorce was going to be finalized soon and he expected it to be the happiest day of his life. He would make disparaging remarks about my mother, talk about how he believed she had been out getting railed by an affair partner and would talk about the house was being foreclosed upon and about how he was losing everything. Of course, I was completely oblivious, just a small kid, concerned with school friends, toys, etc, no concept of the real world.I wished they could have stayed together and loved one another.I wish I could go back in time.
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claudia
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02/23/2024 07:27 PM
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calling ma besties
Current mood:
cookywacky
may or may not play video games with my school friends. watching markiplier
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colt lyts
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02/23/2024 11:50 PM
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Request A Custom
Layout Profile Photo Edit Blog Layout Profile Graphics Favorite / Wanted Colors :Any Specific "Theme" :What Sections Do You Want Hidden (Layouts) :What Graphic Are You Wanting (Profile Graphics like About Me, Contact Table, Small "Decor" Ones, Etc) :Background Image (Layouts, Blog Layouts) :Font Style :Any Other Specifics :Please reply to this blog with your copy and pasted list and images!
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request, custom request
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claudia
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02/22/2024 05:59 PM
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redbulll
Current mood:
awake
had a redbull at school today, very fiesty..
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Vergil
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colt lyts
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02/20/2024 10:01 PM
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Hide Codes
Current mood:
bored
These codes must be placed between " < s t y l e > < / s t y l e > " no spaces! HIDE NAVI LINKS div.profileWidth { margin-top: -30px !important; } div.profileWidth div { filter:alpha(opacity=0); opacity:0.0001; } div.profileWidth div.clearfix, div.profileWidth div div { filter:none; opacity:0.9999; } div.profileWidth div.clearfix { position:relative; top:30px; } div.profileWidth ul li { display: none; } hide comment box .FriendsComments textarea, input {display:none;} hide url .userProfileURL { display:none; } hide blogs .latestBlogEntry { display:none; } hide .latestBlogEntry { display:none; }
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hide codes, profile changes, hide,
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100% Wafer
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02/20/2024 06:11 PM
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collection of photos of my kins :3
Starscream^ dysphoria grrCV ThunderCrackerK(n)ockOutSkywarp G1RiD15 Sideswipewip
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