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i imagine you doing the most sinful thingslike giving me your heart, or placing your hand on my cheek.i am sure that the greatest symbol for love in the entire world is the ocean.it is wrathful and all-encompassing.and so easily can you drown in both.x abby x

I get on here years later.. WOW!

Heyyyyzzz!! Does anyone have any good emo/scene video ideas? I have a couple but I can't do them yet because of various circumstances... :/ But like... Does anyone know of some things that I could like... just talk about??

So.. I don't think people realize how hyped I am to get Twenty nine scene officially started. I've got my new youtube channel, and I'm freaking ready! (even tho it's February and it's been a full month since the year has started...) 

So... I recently started an emo/scene Youtube channel.. So thats pretty cool! I'm just WAITING for the hate to roll in. XDlink to my channel if anyone wants to check it out: https://www.youtube.com/user/DarkAngelPrincess0/videos?view_as=subscriber

Here it is! Me playing Beyond the Stars!!                                Find my music Here!

I'm going to making my blog and pretty much everything on my profile "Friends Only" so if you think you deserve to see what I'm posting or whatever, message me and I will make my judgment. So basically... If I don't know you, f*** off, unless you can find a way to befriend me.

i've said it before and i'll say it againi am too soft for this worldand i am better underground below the earthand that is the place meant for mei breathe air and it hurts my lungsi wonder if it would be better to breathe nothing at all-abby

       Man! I wish I knew how to create a website. If I could create a website, It would be a social media website. Basically it would have stuff from Facebook, Instagram, and Myspace. Too bad I don't have the slightest idea on how to do that. I don't know about anyone else, but it gets super boring when you log on to the same old same old thing. Nothing drastic ever changes. 

Just watching old episodes of the 1980's Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy series. These were so much better and more faithful to to the spirit of the books than the disappointing 2005 movie. What is with these Hollywood execs, or whoever it is that make the decisions, that causes them to utterly butcher the source material?How can anybody actually make a bad adaption of HHGTG? It is incomprehensible to me that anybody entrusted to make an adaption of the brilliant, witty, hilarious and utterly captivating books of Douglas Adams could make a movie that is flat, boring and unenjoyable.It doesn't matter, I suppose. These questions I am positing and topics i am discussing are inconsequential to anybodies life and completely vapid. The truth is I started off the year 2019 with tragedy, I lost someone close to me and in order to distract myself and cope with the grief, I am burying myself in movies, TV shows, books, etc. and trying to lose myself in these and discuss the minutia of these. If this is what it takes to stop me breaking down in tears and becoming non functional from grief of my dead loved one, so be it.I have always been fascinated by death, but that doesn't mean that I actually want anybody I am close with to die. I believe it is most likely that there is no afterlife, and that when we die, our personality and consciousness is extinguished, gone forever. So of course I will be sad and miserable to think that someone I loved dearly is now gone forever, no matter how long I live, I will never be able to see them again, speak to them, touch them, and I will not be able to do so after death either.Although I don't believe in an afterlife, a small part of me holds out hope for some kind of positive afterlife, where I can see my loved ones again, and all of us existing happily together eternally, I cannot allow myself to think about this.The reason I cannot allow myself to think of this is because if I do, I cant stop thinking of all the reasons it is logically or scientifically unlikely, (putting it mildly).

oh how desperately i wish i wrote sinsbut there are no sins to speak of.never have i said this so truly.but i'm in love with you, very dearly.every hour of every day you cross my mind.and it's not fair because i never cross yours.(you-never-were-one-to-play-fair)no matter how many boys i kissyour name is the one that will always be on my lips.oh mr. masterpiece you hang in a hall full of paintings but i only have eyes for you.these eyes were made for you, and only you.i am lovestruck and heartbrokenabby

we were like tornadoes. leaving a wreckage in our wake. loving and killing thousands. we were an unstoppable force, only perishing by our own hand, the only force strong enough to strangle us. but there is no love lost for this bygone era. with every raindrop there was a thunderstorm.  summer's warm winds fuelled our flames. winter's cold chill blew us out. it is winter, i am blooming.  i do not need the tornado.  it was not a good look for me.   lovelost, abby

      I had to get hair supplies today. My hair is growing but it's still too short to put all in a pony tail. I had to get those head band things, hair ties, bobby pins, and berets. The only way I can wear my hair up without it looking stupid is with those things. I can't wait till I don't need any of those things.        The book I talked about before that I am reading, is getting super good. It's one of those books that is really hard to put down. I love books like that. You want to know what is going to happen next. The chapters are kinda long, so for me to read more than one in a day is kinda a big deal. Usually if I am reading a book that has longer chapters I only read one a day, but this book is so good that I want to read more than one.        I've been watching "Charmed" a lot lately. It takes me back to when I was a little girl. Me and my mom used to watch charmed every day that it was on together. My mom was a stay at home mom for me and my brother until we were old enough to handle ourselves. Me and my mom would always be watching Charmed, Angel, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, and Soap Oprahs. I loved to watch those shows with her. Now, I can't stand Soap Oprahs. They drive me nuts. I guess when your young though, it's a little different. Your more easily amused at that age.       My boyfriend got a job and he starts tomorrow. I think it will be really good for us because for the last three weeks or so we have been around each other all day long up each others asses. We defiantly need a break from each other for sure. I'm also really looking forward to him making less of a mess around the house. He has been super lazy lately and doesn't seem to ever want to clean. I'm always constantly cleaning my apartment. I hate it being a mess. Now that I live on my own, I want my place to look nice for when other people come over. Not only just that, but it is a lot easier to find things when they are put away where they belong. Tomorrow I got a tone of things to do. I have to do the dishes, clean my bedroom, clean the living room, clean the bathroom, clean the kitchen, wash rugs, and wash my cloths. I want the apartment to be spotless. I want someone to walk into my apartment and think, "Wow her place is super clean and homie!" For the past few days I have been slacking a bit when it comes to cleaning. I pick up after myself, but that doesn't seem to be enough.         My room mate is moving out of the apartment. I'm kinda relieved to be honest. Shes super messy, irresponsible, annoying (at times), and just not ready to live on her own yet. Shes about my brothers age so there is a four year difference between us. I'm always constantly wanting the apartment to look nice so I am always cleaning. When shes home, she never lifts a finger or pays for anything. She complains about paying the bills and doesn't seem to understand what it is like to live on your own. She uses my dishes, my dish soap, my shower curtain, my trash cans, my silver wear, my trash bags, my laundry detergent, my fabric softener, my dryer sheets, my Hulu account, my Netflix account, my Tv, my Roku, the list goes on. Pretty much everything that I own she uses. Not once has she paid for trash bags or anything that we need at the house. If she bought something, it was strictly only for her to use. I've even given her stuff like shampoo and conditioner that I want to use but know that I never will. I've given her so much stuff. She has it easy here. Honestly, I can't wait till she moves out. Shes super nice, but shes kinda a moocher and I don't like that. I also can't stand to look at her messy and disgusting bedroom. She just throws her trash on the floor and her cloths and stuff all over the room. I usually keep her bedroom closed because I hate that it's messy. I hope that my boyfriend will be able to take her place. The only thing that could cause him to not be able to be my roommate is his background check. He's got a felony charge so that might be a problem. I hope that it won't be though because I really don't know if I will like the new roommate. I don't want to get another person that doesn't pay for sh*t or doesn't clean. I will end up getting super annoyed if the next person doesn't pick up after themselves.          I'm honestly really liking my hair black. Like I said before, black and platinum blonde are my two favorite hair colors. The super white hair looked super good on me because of how pale I am, but with the black hair color, I don't have to worry as much about damaging my hair. Yes, permanent hair color is still damaging to your hair, but it's nothing compared to bleach. Bleach is the most horrible thing you can ever do to your hair. It is horrible for your hair which sucks because it makes your hair look super pretty and light. I always liked to almost white hair look on me. It looks really good, but no one wants to damage their hair to shreds. I would rather have long and healthy black hair, then have short and damaged almost white hair. Once your hair is damaged to sh*t, it is VERY high maintenance. I speak from experience. In the past I had damaged my hair so badly, that every time I would get it wet, it would feel like spaghetti noodles when you touched it. Brushing your hair was also horrible. A tone of my hair would come out into the brush when I brushed it and if I let it air dry, it would dry and turn hard like straw. I never in a million years want to damage my hair that badly again. My hair was so damaged that it was like super f***ing poofy when I brushed it. My hair is still damaged till this day, but nothing compared to what it was then. I don't dye it that often. I only dye my hair when my roots start to get to long for my liking. Here, I will insert a few pictures of when my hair was totally fried here:  I made this last one large because when looking at my hair in this photo it looks wet to you right? Well it wasn't. It WAS wet but before I could brush it, I had to let it dry and that is how it dried. Yea, pretty horrible huh?! These two photos are me now. As you can see, my hair is in a MUCH better state. I still sometimes shed here and there, but that's ok. I have had many hair cuts sense then and all of that horribly damaged hair from 4 years ago is gone. I will never damage my hair to that extreme ever again. Well, I got some dishes that I need to start on. I've been kinda procrastinating because I just really don't feel like doing them. I have a sh*t tone to do too so it's very overwhelming. So I will get back to you later. Time to go back to living life.

      I know I haven't posted anything in my blog lately. I haven't really been on here much. I just updated my photos though. A lot has happened sense my last entry. I am doing much better now. I am still with the same guy I have been with for over a year now. We have been having a lot of ups and downs though. At times the relationship is super rough. We some how manage to get through it though even if we are at each others throats.        I have been reading books like crazy. As of right now I am reading a book called "Welcome, Caller, This is Chloe" and its super good so far. I'm really enjoying it. I've only read the first chapter and I already want to read more. I love those kinds of books. I can honestly read almost anything, but the ones that hook me in are my favorites. I even make a list of every book I have read recently in the last year or two. I couldn't remember them all though so I just wrote down the books that I could remember. From now on, I am going to write down every book that I have read. That way, when I am an old lady, I can look at the list and be proud of myself.        I've really gotten into this new TV show on Netflix. It's called "Paranormal Survivor". I really like it, although it totally creeps me out. It's basically a reality TV show where people who have experienced paranormal activity share their real life stories and experiences. I tend to like to think that ghosts, spirits, and entities don't exist. I know they are there, but I like to pretend that its not there. Lucky for me I haven't had anything bad happen to me like all of those people. Some of the stories they tell are super creepy and something I would never want to happen to me. I tend to scare easily.         I ended up dying my hair black again after I dyed my hair red. Honestly, I'm ok with it. I wish that I had kept my platinum blonde hair because it was so pretty and it was like, almost white and it took me forever to get it to that color, but I didn't. There's nothing that I can really do about it now though. The red hair dye was washing out of my hair and I didn't like the way that it was looking so I just covered it with black. I look good with any hair color though so I don't really mind it all that much. It's better than having an ugly faded out red hair color. My two favorite natural hair colors to have are black and platinum blonde so it works out. I will probably eventually go back to having platinum blonde hair again eventually, but I'm honestly more concerned about the health of my hair than the color. If I want to have long hair, I got to keep it healthy or else I will just end up having to cut it all off again due to damage. I really like the way my hair is looking right now anyways. My hair was super short four years ago and I've been growing it out ever sense then with hair cuts here and there. My hair has a tone of layers and I LOVE layers. Back when I had long ass hair I had layers. I can't stand it when my hair is all one length. Layers just make hair look so perfect and pretty.          For awhile there my confidence was gone. Took me a few weeks of telling myself to stop creeping on all these pretty bitches on Instagram that wear way too much makeup. I finally got my confidence back though. I was feeling so insecure that I decided to get my tongue pierced. When I got that done, I felt a boost of confidence. Guys practically drool over me now because I have so much more confidence with my tongue being pierced that I feel very confident when I take selfies.          More about the tongue piercing. I got lucky getting it done. I found out that I have a fairly shorter tongue than most people do. I had no idea that I did until the piercer made a comment about it. I had a lot of issues with the healing process because of it, but in the end, I yet again, proved that I can make it happen. Now my tongue is fully healed with a regular sized bar in. I do have a smaller ball size though than most people because its more comfortable and easier to talk. Plus, I don't like how big the balls are in general so it all worked out well for me having smaller balls. I can talk like a normal human being now. I also feel so much sexier and better about myself. It's amazing how one little piercing can effect someones confidence.         I started vaping again. I came to realize that it is so much cheaper than smoking cigarettes. I smoke about a pack a day. Plus I'm a huge baby when it comes to going outside and smoking in the cold. I hate the cold weather. F*** that! If I can smoke inside my apartment without it being an issue, then I'm going to!         I've been making new friends gradually. I have like 3 new friends now. It's really nice actually. I no longer have that negative ass Rheanna bitch in my life anymore. That girl was crazy. I don't know if I have said this before in a different diary entry, but this girl got drunk at my house and attacked my boyfriend and was being super rude to him. It got to the point where he had to defend himself and shove her to the ground to get her off of him. I offered her a ride home to be nice, but she wasn't having it. Ever sense that day, shes been a total cunt to me for no reason. If anyone should be hateful towards anyone in that situation it should be me and my boyfriend. I told my friends about what she did and they all said they weren't surprised and immediately took my side. That's not because we are friends though. Anyone would be mad if someone attacked their man. That sh*t isn't ok behavior. That girl needs some serious mental help. Shes got problems. Good riddance!          

So I now have a few places to find my music, and another couple spots to follow me should you want.I put together a bandcamp, you can find that at: vincentvanghool.bandcamp.com and a reverbnation which you can find at:reverbnation.com/vincentvanghool9If you wanna follow me outside of here, you can find me at:instagram.com/vanghooltwitter.com/VanGhoolANDvincentvanghool.tumblr.comI also have a personal tumblr which is:https://notbakedgoodsbakedbads.tumblr.com/Where I post random stuff I like. HOWEVER if you follow my personal tumblr, I humbly ask that you also follow sweetmal25.tumblr.com. It would make her happy.anyhow, back to the music. On those two pages(Bandcamp and Reverbnation) I have two demo songs up, an acoustic version of my band's old song, Return of the Loving Dead, and my newest, Beyond the Stars. I have more coming, it's just i'm working on an odd schedule since one of my family members is now working overnights at Wal-Mart. I've been listening and playing Beyond the Stars since I recorded it, and I'm super in love with this song.