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10/03/2017 07:20 PM 

Journal # 3

So the dog fights have gotten worse and worse. If Dane even see's Dillinger, he flips out. I never liked Dane. Now I'm being forced to get rid of my dog who is a service dog for my anxiety. How could my parents be so selfish? Why get rid of the dog that helps me and clearly isn't the problem here? My parents are stupid as f***. One of these days that dog is going to attack another animal at the dog park or something and my parents will end up with huge fines and maybe even have to put the nut job down. I will never forgive that animal for this. Me and Dillinger are pretty close and he shows how much he appreciates me by his affection. If my parents are going to be that stupid, then I'm not going to be helping out with the animals when they need me to. As far as I'm concerned, Dillinger is my responsibility not the other 2. I can't wait for the day they ask me for my help and I get to throw it back in their faces. I hate Dane so much I act like hes not there. Remind me to never get his bread. They are overly jealous and protective. That's so not cute. I'm pissed off. Why the f*** should I be the one punished and Dilly being the one punished? Dane is the issue. F*** that dog. I hope he gets hit by a car and dies. That dog officially made me his enemy and I can be really cold. I'm not going to do jack sh*t for that piece of sh*t. Nope! In the end he will get his mark my words. He will attack some other innocent dog or person and end up having to be put down. When that day comes, I'm going to throw a party and celibate the fact that hes dead. Yea, that's some true hate right there. 


09/23/2017 04:57 PM 


Did Composing/photoshoot/ design all By my self..To the factory DATA. Brought it to the ESP shop all my word documents and disk. Right now i have dummy cabs.heard at shop brand new v30s MESA does all..revised refined. Oneday I want real mesaV30s. Thanks for reading. I bought Dean R koonz Phantoms DVD for cheap. Drinking ginger ale. Listening to stabbing westward ungod.


09/16/2017 07:40 PM 

Sea of Tears

Cast adrift on a sea of tears,Was too afraid to face my fears.Eaten from within by grief,Our time together much to brief.Now I sally forth by night,Barred forever from the light.The violent serpent strikes my boat,My enemies are poised to gloat.Now run aground on rocky shelf,I find the strength within myself,To face my fate with stoic calm,Not afraid to come to harm.I'll slay the beast from which I'd fled,I'll slay the beast or end up dead.


09/01/2017 01:05 PM 

Current mood:  crunk

this site is so cool omg im gonna cry aaah


08/28/2017 03:05 PM 

When I press my DIY CD free give away

My disk design and sleeves are done.Im thinking about putting altered voice to my songs.My music project official site is here: will do gig around where I live. I got two story boards combining into one.Industrial horror / Post hardcore = xXTACTICAL COREXx


08/21/2017 08:21 PM 

days n daze - blue jays
Current mood:  awake

I'm too tired to eat too tired to breathe too tired to deal with all of these tragedies but I'm too scared I'm too scared to sleep


08/21/2017 12:03 PM 

Spent most of the day watching movies on Youtube
Current mood:  complacent

Today I did my favorite thing ever, stayed home and watched movies on youtube. I know, I am not very interesting, but I don't give a f***, the way i see it, as long as I enjoy myself nothing else matters.Mostly I just watch low budget horror movies or old black and white film noir. I have watched so many movies on there in the last few years I have forgotten most of them.I recommend The Screaming Skull, Sleepaway Camp, Slumber Party Massacre 2, Tormented, Fallen Angel, The Prowler, Night of the Demons, and prom Night 1,2 & 3.These are just some of the films I remember watching on youtube that were decent or didn't totally suck. Enjoy.


08/17/2017 05:54 PM 

To make people aware or not?

Man, so I really like this website, a total nostalgia portal to the good old Myspace days.But thats the whole dilemma, do we promote the existence of this site, get more people signed up, or do we keep it quiet?The problem with too many people signing up, is exactly what ruined Myspace.Too many people joined, it became mainstream, they changed the design so that it sucked, and the site died a slow horrible death.I don't want that to happen here, lets keep the community small, keep it out of the mainstream.When cool things start to become mainstream, that's when they start to suck.

Mostafa Majd's ✔Verified AccountŠ

08/08/2017 04:18 PM 

Quantum Gravity

                                Get your own valid XHTML YouTube embed code

Sansa Stark

08/04/2017 12:03 PM 

Existential Depression
Current mood:  talkative

10 years ago I did not know what my purpose in life was. I grew up confined to a tiny apartment with three other hussies and could not/would not get involved with them. I was certainly depressed - webbing out to reasons such as school grades (I was smart but had f***ed up so bad I knew that my expulsion was imminent), I had developed a pill addiction on medications that my mother herself was taking for what I now believe was her own existential crisis, and the bow of this package was my overall teenage angst.10 years ago I decided to take as many pills as I found in the bottles in a calm hope that my year 18 would not come around.Instead, I lay aware of my surroundings and unable to do anything, physically or mentally for three whole days.My mother never thought of taking me to the ER.But for three days I heard my sister asking if I was okay, as I lay in bed unable to answer and myself wondering if this was a dream or not.I lay as my cousin that lived with us asked my mom why I had not gotten up to eat for three days or even use the restroom.I lay as my mother in almost calm exasperation explained that she did not know what was wrong with my lazy-ass.And towards the end of the third day I gathered enough inner strength to open my eyes and realize that I needed to pee. It took a whole other four days to come to terms with what had just happened. In those four days I realized that I hadn't really slept in three days... I realized that I was knocked out for that time, but never quite asleep... and I realized that none of the women I lived with had an intention to address the issue of what had just happened.As cliche as the previous and the following will look, I made a commitment to myself that I would have to find a way to keep myself busy moving forward.  Busy enough to distract myself from my own thoughts.  To not give myself time to delve into my own mind... to fool myself that what I was doing was reason enough to not go kill myself ("for now") until my task at hand was completed.  But every time I finished my task, I had tricked myself into embarking onto something new.  Always busy, no time for anything else.That was 10 years ago when I was 17.Fast forward to today and things have changed as much as they have needed to for me to be situated where I am.Three years later, I met my niece as she exited her mother's womb and that child has given me inner light and peace.  I love her so much and am grateful for her every day of my life.That same year I started a relationship with the man that has since then taken my heart and tendered it with nothing but love and trust and a curious sense of endearing entitlement.I have moved in with this man and we have lived together for nearly six years.We've gotten a cat - completely accidental but a blessing in itself as she entered my life in a moment when a dark cloud was passing in my direction.We've gone through new used sh*tty cars and have recently (lol, like three years ago) purchased a reliable new used car that we love.I've traveled to places I never imagined I would have... and they're all within the country so I can only imagine what the world will be like when I explore it.I've landed the job of my dreams and have ambitions of being able to do more.I've found and met my father and an additional two sisters and baby brother whom I love very much.I've gained a ridiculous amount of weight from the experience of being a broke-ass who can only afford a cup of noodles and the dollar menu, and later more weight from making a steady income and being able to eat all of the good food that the world has to offer.I've lost a ridiculous amount of weight from one day realizing that I went overboard with the food and became one of "those" people that change their lifestyle to live healthier and will never look back.I've finally dyed my hair a crazy color - purple - and plan on exploring nearly every color under the color spectrum before black again.And there's so many things in between all of that that I am not sure what is next.Why am I putting all of this out there?Because over the past few months... almost a year now, I've slowly been dreading my mornings and have begun questioning my routine as I did 10 years ago.I sought some therapy but I will be honest... it's not for me and I may give it another try in the future... but right now I don't want to talk about my inner thoughts with another person nor do I care to discuss.I've recently thought about my childhood, my mom, my dad, what my life was before I had to grow up and everything since.I've felt done with.And then there's better days, in which I will find myself in better spirits and not feel like I don't want to be here.And I've had to remember that 10 years ago, the attempt did not work, but getting to know myself a little better did.So I guess what I'm trying to say is... you have to believe in yourself.  Know that you are worth something.  Even if you feel worthless... you and only you have to be that friend that talks yourself out of doing something irreversible or stupid.You are the friend in you that will get you through this.  You are also not alone.  Millions of people in the world are going through questions of their existence - and it is okay, and it will be okay, and you will be okay.I wish I could end on a happy note but my happy note is that we are both here, and it's reason enough to celebrate.  Forget about your thoughts for a moment, and go do something nice for a loved one, anything you know that they will find meaningful.You do not understand how much you are loved, and you never will.  But the only person who can ultimately love you more than anyone else in your life, is you.

life, work, love, existence, depression, oppression, existential, crisis, existentialism, events, life events, suicide, suicide prevention, hurdles, objections, you, yourself, self-love, self-acceptance, acceptance, tolerance, do good, positive

Sansa Stark

08/03/2017 02:19 PM 

Favorite Podcasts
Current mood:  enlightened

In no particular order:You Must Remember ThisMy Favorite MurderThe Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth ReynoldsMysterious UniverseLoreSword & ScaleThe Mortified Podcast

podcast, podcasts, favorite podcasts


07/31/2017 11:29 PM 

oh f*** yes this sh*t has GAMES
Current mood:  adventurous

bye yall its game time

gaming, new


07/31/2017 02:20 PM 

help plz
Current mood:  confused

so idk how to add stamps to mah bio like othah kidz r doin, so if anyone could plz help id luv u 4evah and evah!!!



07/30/2017 11:39 PM 

Current mood:  romantic

I actually fell for you before I even realized I did.. ♥



07/28/2017 03:15 PM 

hi yall
Current mood:  silly

I'm just testing this out ♥3

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