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09/07/2020 02:57 PM 

Current mood:  animated

A friend just introduced me to this site, and it's like I went back in time. 


09/17/2020 08:01 PM 

My head space
Current mood:  apathetic

*sigh*    Just now having all the stress catch up to me from school starting two weeks in, I am unbelievably tired and everything makes me either sad or think about memories I dont want to think about.  I am really scared of putting my all into new realationships after my last one and even friend realationships, I wish I could recover better but it takes so long it feels like. I think about things to far maybe, I wish I knew true intentions so I wouldn't waste my love on people. Goodnight. 

love,school,highschool,tired,my day,ugh,reflection,mental health, oof

⠀⠀:·.☽✧Crownsoo ✧☾.·:

09/17/2020 09:33 PM 

( ^ω^ )

( ^ω^ )


09/17/2020 08:30 PM 

On Love
Current mood:  loved

I haven't written a blog post in a while, but today love is on my mind. I don't know that much about love as a philosophical topic, so I probably won't be very accurate in what I say, but this isn't a doctoral dissertation. I've felt so much love from God. Love I don't deserve, love abounding and incredible. God has infinite love, and my finite existence can't comprehend or contain it. The notion that the love I've received from Him stretches on and on astounds me, and it brings me so much comfort. Right now, I feel as though everyone in the world could be against me, even those in this world who I feel love me the most, but I would still be satisfied because of the all-consuming fire of His love. But what is love anyways?Well it seems evident, and many have pointed out, that there are different types of love. They all fall under the same category of "love," but there are distinctions within that category. This is an important topic, since love is an energy of God, and since we are made in His image, we also possess this power from Him to a finite degree. From what I've understood, there are four types of love. Eros, storge, philia, and agape. These are Greek terms that I will do my best to break down. Like I said, I'm not a philosopher!Eros is romantic love or desirous love. That burning feeling you have when you long for the presence of someone, that's eros. This is not to be confused with lust, which is a distortion of eros. Lust is a selfish perversion of an innocent longing for another. This seems to be a very basic form of love.Next is storge, which is familial love. The love of a mother for her child at a very primal level. You love someone because you have a responsibilty for them as a part of their family. There is a lot of expectations and duties involved with this sort of love, but that does not mean that it is selfish! So long as the expectations you have for your family members are to something outside of your own selfish desires (something like God), this is a normal and healthy type of love. Many of us have suffered from the unreasonable expectations of an overbearing parent, but please don't think that because of this corruption, families are evil! A family is a beautiful thing when everyone has their hearts aimed toward heaven.Then we have philia. This one is somewhat similar to storge, I feel. If I were to define it, it would be like that feeling of peace and joy you have when you are surrounded by your friends and you're in a community experiencing a fun and wholesome time. Think back to when you and your friends were just talking and laughing, eating a good meal, giving praise to eachother for what you are thankful about each member of the group. You might have said it was cheesy, but you knew in your heart that it was right. This is philia. I think it is higher than storge because although it does involve this community aspect, the members of this community are more of a choice. You have chosen of your own free will to love these people. It's as though you can't choose to love your family, but it is a responsiblity to love your family; it's almost biologically programmed. With philia, you have chosen these friends for which you have a special love, so this freedom of community is what I think makes philia a higher form of love in my opinion. The most beautiful scripture related to this form of love is John 15:13. Jesus says "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends."Finally, we have agape. Agape is the highest form of love. It is the love of God Himself, or at least what we can comprehend of it. It is a total pouring out of oneself for the sake of another. This love is best expressed in the famous Bible verse, John 3:16. "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." This often repeated verse may cause some readers' eyes to roll because of its ubiquity. But it is popular for a reason. In the Orthodox Christian teaching, Jesus did not come down to die for us to satisfy the wrath of the Father against us, nor to merely act as an example. He came down to Earth and became a man while remaining God by nature, to suffer with us in this sorrowful place. The Son of God Himself experienced the suffering of mankind so that He might relate to us and comfort us and walk with us. Then, He gave Himself up to death at the hands of those who hated Him. But death cannot contain God, Who is infinite, so He filled the realm of death with His presence, defeating death itself and rising from the dead, just so that we may someday come back to life ourselves and experience eternity. TRULY there is no greater love than this. While no man may have greater love than to lay down his life for his friends, there is no greater love than God's love. A love for which He laid down His life not only for His friends who loved Him back, but also for His enemies who hated Him. Because of this, we can conclude that when someone sacrifices himself for the sake of his friends and his enemies, he is doing something superhuman. He is loving as God loves. As the Lord says in Matthew 5:43-48,"You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."Now I know this is a very long blog post, but we're nearing the ending stretch here. I want to finish off with the term "love" in its popular usage. A lot of times, people will talk about "self-love." A popular phrase is "you can't love others unless you love yourself first." Or something along those lines. Notice something here; in this case, the popular modern conception of love is at TOTAL ODDS with everything I just wrote above. The idea that real love can only be expressed when you love yourself first is by this definition of love, nonsense. "What definition is that?" you may ask. Well what do the four types of love expressed above have in common? All four types are fundamentally outward-looking. They are defined by sacrifice. Another way of expressing this is the Greek term "kenosis," or a "pouring out" of oneself for the sake of another. Now this does not mean you should not have boundaries. If someone is doing evil to you, flee from them so that you don't return evil for evil. We are not perfect like God. It's hard for us to control ourselves and not lash out when other people hurt us. But I encourage you all, please consider what you mean when you say "love." Can you really love yourself? What would that even look like, and what difference would there be between "loving" yourself first, and being self-indulgent and selfish? I think we all have to be careful when we hear phrases like the one I quoted earlier, and critically examine what is being said and how the terms are used. Anyways, that is all for my post on love. I honestly think this is something we can all get behind, even if some us are not Christian. It is a very beautiful outlook to have on love, and I sincerely hope you consider it.  Discussion is encouraged as well as criticism in the comments. Or just scroll past it because it's a leviathan of a text. Ultimately, it's up to you. It's a free country.God bless you all,AugieP.S. I really really need to work on my blog layout soon. It's way too bland.


09/17/2020 02:41 PM 

I stg-
Current mood:  frustrated

So I just called a snowflake for the first time...That's fun?

Lorelei Luthor

09/17/2020 08:31 PM 

F*** you and F*** You
Current mood:  pessimistic

i swear to gods i wanna blow my damn head off i swear i do have reason for hating evreyone 



09/17/2020 06:27 PM 

continuation about this "girl"

okay so we've been talking for some time now, and she's been really pushy, maniuplative, and clingy. i don't know what you call this person but she's been a real pain in my ass. i don't want to get into specific detail but i rlly need new friends, idk what to do. :/i started off just wanting to read a wattpad suggestion and now it's come to her being mad with me wantning things to go her way, it's rlly a pain in the ass. to think she's the one to be kind. *rolls virtual eyes* help? anyone? what to do? 


09/17/2020 06:05 PM 

Here he is

Here's your cat, f***tard


09/17/2020 05:55 PM 

highschool shiz >:(
Current mood:  lazy

hey, i just started highschool today and let me tell you it has been, exhausting. never knew highschool would be this intimidating. but hey! at least i made one friend (new friend, ahem ahem) , unsure if she's toxic or not. she seems to be giving me tons of questions. she texts me very often wondering if she's clingy or just manipulative but whatever, y'know it's highschool. let's give it a shot. my sister's birthday and my parents anniversary is tomorrow and i couldn't be more excited. let's hope it goes well. wish me good luck on my second day of school tmrw! life is going great so far :D 

Vomit Boy

09/17/2020 05:36 PM 

i just got back from therapy so im having Thoughts
Current mood:  thoughtful

lol okay so we didn't talk about this really in therapy today, touched on the idea of this i guess, but not exactly. okay, anyway, i saw this thing on instagram just a minute ago, i follow this anxiety/therapy blog, and on her story she was talking about her mental health class she's taking and i guess theyre talking about self love and narcissism, and the questions are as follows: "Do we need to love ourselves before we can love others?" / "Narcissists are capable of loving themselves without loving others. Does this change your mind?" / "Is the extreme self-love felt by narcissists real or fake?" (with the answer to this last one being "it's fake and not genuine" apparently). My first thought/ response was yes of course we need self love before we can love others! and I still stand by this thought. but then i had another thought...and i think i'll show you my thought process...? This was what i was going to respond to this person on instagram but i decided to just kinda work out my thoughts here:"I fully believe you need to have self love to truly love others to the fullest extent. I think people are totally capable of loving others without loving themselves, but I feel the more standards and weight you put on yourself, the more you project those standards onto others. And if that answer in the next slide is true about narcissists, I feel like that just furthers that though. I’ve never studied narcissists in a class like this, so you probably know more than me, but from my personal experience with dealing with narcissists in my life, they may “love” certain people, but their own standards for themselves and for others, and their ego, gets in the way of truly loving people, and def makes it harder to love more than a couple people/more than one group of people."I then started thinking though about my own experiences. I started to write "For example, the more I learned to love myself and my flaws and quirks, the more I was able to accept that-" and it was going to continue "hey i shouldn't give a sh*t so other people shouldn't give a sh*t either, and i can be an example for other people," but then it clicked for me: there are a lot of things that I do/say/wear now that i wouldn't have done if i didn't have love and acceptance for other people, and took that love and acceptance i had for others and applied it to myself. and THEN i thought to myself, well, maybe there needs to be a mixture of both! I think there needs to be a balance of the two to make it work, because it's kind of a catch 22: if you dont have the love and acceptance for yourself to do things like uhhh break gender norms and wear your hair spiked and wear kandi (yes im talking from my own experience akldjf) then it's harder to allow others to do those same things, because youre so caught up in this idea that you need to be a certain way to be loved, but if you love yourself however you are then it doesn't matter! but the other side of the coin i think is that the confidence of loving yourself can come from others confidence. We feed off of each other's self-love and bravery. from my personal experiences with narcissists, there's no self love there, and there's no love for others. there's nothing to feed off of from them except negativity and greed. they are out to destroy your self love if anything, and to make you an empty shell just like them. anyways, idk, that's my answer, those are my thoughts on the subject. i think self love is a very important thing to have, and a very important part of making the world go 'round. I think it's the #1 thing capitalist society seeks to taint and destroy, and i strongly believe if capitalism seeks to destroy it than it's something very important to our beings. If anyone else has any thoughts/feelings/experiences about it, i'd be curious to know...xo, i leave you with this 


09/17/2020 04:02 PM 

Gangsters paradise
Current mood:  artistic

first blog paradise 



09/17/2020 03:04 PM 

Current mood:  animated

I have soooooo much work. f***kk. deleted ig cuz that sh*t was messing with my brain, felt like a zombie 


09/17/2020 02:21 PM 

Contact Ananymous123

Social networking MySpace93: Instant Messaging Escargot MSN Server: anonymous8273@hotmail.comiMessage: anonymous8273@hotmail.comGoogle Talk/Hangouts: E-Mails Hotmail: I may not respond to E-Mails because Hotmail likes to put everything in the Junk folder


09/17/2020 02:18 PM 

scene sh*t
Current mood:  bouncy

brokencyde makes me feel 7 again and idk how i feel abt that i- i mean i dont like much much of their music but like yo.... this kinda sexc esp scene girlz and teach me how to scream wow im lame those r the more popular songs xD i hav these 2 emo/scene playlists on yt i luv it here 

Depresso Espresso

09/17/2020 02:04 PM 

i haven't made a blog post in a while lol

i don't really have anything to say except b e a n s



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