FriendProject.net

So theres a boy who i used to like,it started in year 6 when he sat on my table for maths and i gave him a note saying: do you like me??> yes no maybe he checked no and gave it back to me.almost 3 years later and i still loved him; i would hold the door open for him and he would say "f*** off" there was even a time in RE where i started crying, thinking things like --- he would be happy if you were dead kill yourself for him but not all of my memories with him are depressing!for example, in year 6, our teacher was reading a book called "holes".and a quote was.... "he fell deep into the hole", "he was trying to get out of the dry hole".so we bonded over the fact that it sounded dirty as f*** xDwe have been getting better around each other as time goes on but i dont wanna be in a relationship with him anymore. i just wanna be his friend.

the fragile light hovers in and out sometimes.it's dark for most the day.we all just make the most of it,even though it's hard to stay.sometimes the night swallows people whole,stolen from their loversnothing left but a shattered soulto float to god knows where.all I wish is to become apart of the night,but it seems as though I'm immortal,and soon it'll give me a fright,but then I'll be okay.the night will save me from my misery.

in Literature the teacher showed us a video about "what if straights and gays were switched places in bigotry" and it was cool and all but the violence in it made me want to project into the universe and beat a hoard of twelvies up and then it had a super graphic depiction of suicide with like Actual Cut Projection with blood everywhere and stuff and watching it happen i lasted for like a minute after the film thing ended and then i cried for half an hourthe teacher asked me if i was okay with the course content and then basically left immediately before i could tell her it wasn't the homophobia it was the Graphic Depiction of Suicide miss i know it's predictable in the story but Please Warnalthough i didn't realise it'd affect me that much tbh. probably wouldn't have left anyway but maybe i wouldn't annoy my sitting partner by going "murder suicide murder suicide"

some days i feel like i want to do wipe away my tears, blood, and sweat from my facesob, gasp for airand hold up my white flag

When i go to supermarket cashier lady is same…sometimes i see president of supermarket beg just to me and cashier lady brings shopping basket just for me…I beg them back… i was getting mont blanc pudding with discounted price and cashier lady did additional discount for me everyday sameworker there remembering me I saved enough money to buy sports car…buying my house first… saving money going very quick…

unholyversethe anatomy of a fallnovember 1stthe science of sleep

Have you ever? by neutronsmoked a cigarette?: nosmoked a cigar?: nodone drugs?: yesdrank alcohol?: yesbeen in love?: yesbeen dumped?: yesshoplifted?: yesbeen fired?: nobeen in a fight?: yessnuck out of your house?: yesbeen arrested?: nomade out with a stranger?: nogone out on a blind date?: nolied to a friend?: yeshad a crush on a teacher?: yesskipped school?: yesslept with a co-worker?: noseen someone die?: nohad/have a crush on 1 of your myspace friends: nobeen to Canada?: home country babeyyyyyyy

100 useless facts about me:Do you usually sleep with your closet door open or closed?I don't have a closet :/Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotels?Nah. I don't sleep at hotels :sHave you ever 'done it' in a hotel room?Nope.Where is your next vacation?Maybe Germany. Have you ever stolen a street sign before?Uhh.. no.Who do you think reads these?Nobody?Do you have a calendar in your room?Nope, I have no track of time.Where are you?My room.What's your plan for the day?Take a nap.Are you reading any books right now?Fahrenheit 451Do you ever count your steps when you walk?Sometimes; but not for charting reasons.Have you ever peed in the woods?Maybe?Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing?Yup. Yay for awkward breakdancing.Do you chew your pens and pencils?No, I don't.What is your "Song of the Week"?lil peep - CrybabyIs it okay for guys to wear pink?Is it okay for girls to wear blue?Do you still watch cartoons?Yeah.Whats your favorite love movie?I don't know many.What do you drink with dinner?Yeah, water is pretty good.What do you dip Chicken Nuggets in?Nothing.What is your favorite food/cuisine?Pizza.What movies could you watch over and over and still love?I don't do movies.Last person you hugged/kissed?My ex.Were you ever a boy/girl scout?Kinda.Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?No.When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?Like two weeks agoCan you change the oil on a car?Yeah.Ever gotten a speeding ticket?No.Run out of gas?Nope.Favorite kind of sandwich?Cheese and pepperoni. Best thing to eat for breakfast?Cereal.What is your usual bedtime?4am.Are you lazy?No, I don't think so.When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?Vampires.Do you have any magazine subscriptions?No.Which are better, legos or lincoln logs?Lincoln logs.Are you stubborn?No.Who is better...Leno or Letterman?Neither.Ever watch soap operas?No, I don't watch TV.Afraid of heights?No.Sing in the car?No.Dance in the shower?Yup. I get crunk.Dance in the car?What?Ever used a gun?No.Do you think musicals are cheesy?No.Is Christmas stressful?I believe so.Ever eat a pierogi?No.Major annoyance right now?Myself.Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?An astronaght.Do you believe in ghosts?No.Ever have a deja-vu feeling?Yea, all the time.Do you take a vitamin daily?Nope.Wear slippers?Nope.Wear a bath robe?Nope.What do you wear to bed?Underwear, sometimes pyjamas.Wal-Mart, Target or K-Mart?Wal-Mart.Nike or Adidas?Nike.Cheetos Or Fritos?Cheetos.Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?Peanuts.Ever hear of, "gorp"?No?Ever taken karate?Yes.Ever kissed someone of the same sex? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)Can you curl your tongue?Yes.Ever won a spelling bee?No.Ever cried because you were so happy?Yes.Own any record albums?Yeah.Own a record player?Not at the moment.Regularly burn incense?No.Ever been in love?Yeah...Hot tea or cold tea:Hot tea.Tea or coffee?Tea.Favorite kind of cookie?Chocolate chip.Can you swim well?Yes.Can you hold your breath w/o manually holding your nose?Yes.Are you patient?YesEver won a contest?No.Ever had plastic surgery?No.Which are better black or green olives?Green.Can you knit or crochet?No.Wash room or bathroom?The can.Do you want to get married?Yes.Who was your High School crush?No-one.Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?No.Do you have kids?No.Do you want kids?No.What kind of mom are you?No.Do you miss anyone right now?Yes. Always.Who do you want to see right now?Lil Peep.

August 6, 2018    Yeah it's been a while since I updated this. That poem was from yesterday. I haven't been up to much, but I'm sure you expected that. I have a lot more poems to post. (Some of my best, in my opinion.)   Oh, and I got my schedule for the upcoming school year today. I'm nervous of course, but I really have...expectations for this year. Not many, I've come to expect less over time. 

OKAYSOYesterday I met the guy who I literally haven't shut up about on here (sorry guys) and it all went really well! WE KISSED!!!!!!!!!! I really really like him, I feel all happy inside :3 My parents are fine with him being the age he is and I'm hopefully seeing him again in a couple of weeks. We're just seeing where things go at the moment but I am just so happy ♥

Three shots in the dead of the nightThree shots and I can't hear, not quiteFor each bullet is like a cryAnd each tear brings tears to my eyesLeave things as they are (don't show up)Unless you need something from in hereYou're a fool to think I forgot the lockI'm just sad to learn you won't disappearYour pink lips are white lies if they partYou can trick me but not for that long Though I long for what wasn't long Though you may still play the partDress up for the days hearts collidePaint tears on your face with a brushThen get them off in a rushSoon as you find an ugly side Am I fooling myself now?Tell me, are all these delusions and lies?Who can I trust, who can I not,If the girl in the mirror wants my skin off my bonesAnd the ones on my side...Can I trust you when you say it's in my head?If I have these thoughts each time I go to bed.And the tone is each time more convincingWhen it says my face is sickening.I don't mean to burden youI don't wish to bring you downBut here, at the very bottom of my mindThere's no light that filters through the cracksThere's nothing that's holding me backAnd oh, I forgot to mention,The sign reads "No entrance"I'm hoping for renewal because I don't know how long I'll lastI'm begging for friends because I only see ghosts of my pastand patterns that repeat themselves endlessly in my eyesLike the were burnt to the top of my corneasIf you were gonna pretend you could've told me from the start.and each time i so desperately asked you if you hated me.and each time i begged you to leave me, to leave because i'm no good.and if i really am as selfish and bad. then why the hell are you still around?and can you tell me when's your one way ticket away from me due?

Did you see that shadow move? In the corner of your eye? You start feel a pall of fear, And yet, you don’t know why. The house is dark and silent, As silent as a tomb. And yet you cannot help but feel, A presence in the room. Look straight ahead and don’t look back, Return straight to your bed. For if your eyes should meet with mine, Your soon to end up dead. I’m always here, I’m watching you, I visit in your dreams. You’re soon to learn that life is not, As pleasant as it seems.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PmTnCboNFc

>1) not clearly communicating your message >2) self-hatred and talking about what a failure you are >3) backing out of sex randomly and for no reason, often halfway through, when that's basically the only part of our relationship that doesn't feel like empty words sometimes1. maybe i'm just nonsensical, maybe words don't matter and are hard to convey anyway, maybe i dont know how to think2. i don't want to lie and i dont wan't to be egocentrical and narcissistic and maybe there's some level of manipulation here too3. i don't have recall of any specific incidents but it's probably since something made me feel bad. don't know how to help with empty words, i'm emotionally dead (which is probably an element of the reason i'm such a terrible partner and can't communicate anything>is this relationship even a good thing for the two of usi'd like to hope so, you're the closest friend or anything i have left. i've already pushed everyone else away with how terrible i am. i can't even get a 3/3 vote of a small section of friend group on who is the better person to hang out with, me or damien. and you know us both well

Hey guys! The names Salea, and i'm new here and have no f***ing idea what i'm doing!