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yall dont want bpdyall think you do but you dontworst disorder ever everything feels like i am going to die or need to die

-Where in the U.S I've been to-https://m.maploco.com/visited-states/mine.php?states=AZ-FL-HI-IA-KS-MN-NE-NM-TX-WA-WI&w=ml

strike one. strike two. strike three. maybe this time the candle won't go out so easily. scratch the head against the rough surface. again. do it again, and again, and again, and again... let young love's complexities ascend into flames. let potential combust. pretentious perspectives of "what we could be" only fuels the fire further. douse our excitement in gasoline... does it even matter when we'll both fall into ashes anyway?keep the light on. let it burn in the middle of cold, amateur hearts that can barely keep up with the last beat so we can stay warm. you mirror the way my hands reach for the heat in the middle of the northeast monsoon's february leftovers, but that's all we are. that's all we do. that's the only rhythm the pounding sensations in our chests are familiar with. i've outgrown my bundle of insecurities, but i find myself continuously knitting its bottom half to stay sheltered from the chill. there's no sense in wrapping your arms around me. we both wear thick coats of adolescent fragility; no heat to radiate... only solace and comfort in knowing our limbs are awkwardly tangled in the same way. a relentless, transcient twin fantasy.i'd ask you to take it off and bare your soul for me, but even the vibrations inside your bones know all we can give each other are carefully curated half-baked impressions that only leave room for the surface ever so slightly. good thing we (unknowingly) wear our amygdalas on our sleeves.a picture of our potential paints the scratched matchbox surface, but the ink is cheap and rubbing off. the friction charges up a fire... but it fizzles, and crackles out, and the match dies out before i can even begin to tell you how i actually feel. let the longing for your affection ignite another one."maybe there is love behind narrow roads and turnstiles." i blame the nagging voice in my head for thinking we could be who i thought we would be. we thrived on adrenaline in spaces only our pairs of eyes are aware of... and i got so lightheaded on the sensation that i wallowed in the wistful wonder of waiting. of wishing and wanting to put all my faith in our prospects. i thought i saw the faintest glimmer of a promise in your eyes... but that was just a reflection of me cremating forgotten promises. i took it a little too seriously and etched each and every letter meticulously onto my veins. now all that flows inside of me is the reverence and attachment i have for everything temporary.backspace. backspace. there will be another time and place for things that we've skipped over. i cup my hands over the blazing flames. the candle wax has been melting, dripping on unassuming, beat up suede shoes for centuries now. the monsoon moans angrily. "how much longer are you going to wait?" it asks me. in the river reflecting the moonlight all i see is a fool melting herself into a puddle of fervor. i'd do anything to keep you warm. 

Just finished my potttttt

Just chillin Hit me uppppp

I HATE MATH OH MY GOD

3 more mf days till my bday. Welcome to my "wellness check" anyone who came here from instagram this is where i'll be updating how i've been doing bcuz i got my bitchass phone taken away. OOps. i have 2 Fs, 1 C and 1 B in my gradebook. and i cant forget about the 18 missing assignments lmfaoooo.For my "last" weekend with my phone. I went to goth night which was pretty fire. Spent the night at my bestie boo, skys place. her bald headed bf came over (hes coo he my twin fr). I danced a lot that night. Smoked OFC- i mean i was going to healer why wouldnt i smoke But i did stand in a corner by myself leaning on the wall with a cup of water in my hand.. i was zoning out hard. thinking about the guy im "talking" to.. I miss him. Idk if he misses me but i sure hope he does lolol. Jordan. Anyways im in my mf 7-10 period class. We're watching some lame ass video about how to properly..make..videos? idk its pretty f***ing lame. Im basically living a 2000s life now. Typing on this mf friend project. having to use a radio in my room, which is also a cd player (its my only source of electronic entertainment in there). Being grounded sucks.. what really makes my stomach twist is that i lost my f***ing camera yesterday. my beautiful video camera... i was gonna use it to "document" my life duing my punishment.. because honestly im slowly losing my mind.. well imma go and pimp this sh*t some more.. might sketch out the painting i want to make. its vent art. I'll give you a lil insight on what to expect lolol. a woman cracking and crumbling into dust.. she doesnt seem to care though. she looks lifeless but she isnt. she's very much alive.. just not all there. 

i'll scrub myself until i bleed to be clean for you

talena atfield - kittie fallon bowman - kittie  (honestly everyone in kittie) amy lee - evanescence tiffy - raw time kim royer - hey punk! lose the funk rose tyler - doctor who (ik shes not alternative i just love her style) raven madison - vampire kisses flatline - dc  comics pandora peroxide  alicia simmons zoetica ebb   meegs rascon - coal chamber (00s) mikey way - my chemical romance (90s) wes borland - limp bizkit eric griffin - murderdolls robert smith - the cure jeff hardy - wwe (early 00s) bam margera - jackass/viva la bam/cky

I'm leaving nowPlease, drive a pillar into the ground so there is at least something to return toFor as long as I call it home,Its roots will always call me backEven if not all roads lead West,the most important of them is oneOne in which she could not pass -- darker than storm clouds,blacker than a thousand nights,but More alive than all living things, and full of anger. The hope that did not come trueRemained a caustic muddy puddle in the desert of expectationsTime passed through our fingers like water,leaving only scars and sand in dry cuts.You're used to burying your face in empty palms: look what happened to themThe opportunities you missedThe words that had to be exchanged for the silence of a stonewhich is now quietly drowning in your sleepygrey harbour      that anchors the end."if it's not about You, let it be broken on the insideand crushed on the outside.All I need to know is that you won't let me down or follow me into any bottomwith no hope of returning.There are things that are better left unexplainedAnd there are rapids that won't turn you over. For those who left home so young, leaving notes in the windowsIt will be easier to understand all of this. We're all crashingand time is running out. The stone pillars are just crosses at our doorsteps.What remains, is the desire to merge into the family we tore ourselves from... and under the soft leaves of November,in these Godforsaken places,remains the desire to become earth, and the wind that, in rage, tears apart the cloudsThe tops of the trees torn to shreds."As if she wants to return to her very youthand relive those yearswith teeth, clawsSobbing so as to not let go of what will come off at the roots.Hammering nails into your earsso that at least now they will hear the sound of your heart.Only words can remain, only memories can remainAnd missed callsmark the stories of mistakes in youth .

3 - 11 - 24Hi guys! I am starting this blog to track my music career and maybe other things, but mainly music.                                                                Okay so lets back up to my childhood where I wanted to be a singer or an actor or whatever, I don'r really remember for I have a really bad memory. Flashforward 6 years later in about September I had started experimenting with songwriting, I used my piano skills to make short pieces, but I threw them out cause they were horrible. Now in the new year my songwriting went way up in Febuary when I had my fallout of a situanship (Which was horrible so don't ever try to get in one) I bawlled my eyes out, and started to write every day.      Most of my songs are about this guy, but some are about being a bad bitch. The sound I am going for is an Avril Lavigne style with more mello songs as well. If you are reading this blog you will have very early acces to this, and if I ever get famous, be like "I saw their blog on a myspace dupe website" and if I can tell you are amazing. I need input on many things for this so please let me know if the lyrics are bad or not.  That's all for now                      Veronica, signing offSocials: PintrestTikTokInstagram                     

  ☆ - introduction !!-☆┊ ┊ ⋆˚ me !   ✧ call me ryan or richie !                                                           ✧ pronouns : he / they✧ age : minor !✧ birthday : 30th october✧ nationality : french   ┊ ┊ ⋆˚ ꒰ ꒱   ♫ Big old p!atd fan ( ryan ross my bbg/ hj ) ofc the young veins too & Ryan ross solo career!! ♫ Feldup ♫ Mcr ♫ Fob ♫ Ptv ♫ Sws ♫ The Used ♫ Brokencyde ♫ Millionaires ♫ Cobra Starship ♫ Paramore ♫ coconut recordsthe smashing pumpkins ♫ The Cure & scene / techno/emo music fan (cuz there's too many groups/artists that i like) !!! super cool playlist !!! 35H and 19 mins of my fav artists and albums :p(i have more on my account!!)waning cresent ( main playlist) :3  ◫  goodnight punpun ( inio asano work is amazing ) , i like junji ito a lot especially his version of no longer human n spiral n yeah , Stephen king books & Hemingway   ► south park , MLP, Yo-kai watch (the games too rahhh ), Bored to death, inside job, IT 1&2 , The goldfinch, Scott pilgrim vs the world                                                          fantastic mr. fox ( basically every movie w jason schwartzman in it )  ┊ ┊ ⋆˚ ꒰DNI꒱ ngl basic dni, homophobia, racism,transphobia, proshiper and everything like that or ur getting blocked !!my dms are always open but pls dont start being weird or things like that pls.  ┊ ┊ ⋆˚ ≡;- ꒰ °extra꒱ full intro + my socials :Richie!! - Instabio | Link in bio   * . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° . *

with blood in your mouth and tears in your eye always I’ll go to you, lay down and die I’ll sleep next to you in grass and watch the sky while your scars heal, I’ll never ask you why  

i can't sleep and it's been years since you said you loved me

i can see the moon through my window and i think i'm in love with you