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daniel

01/17/2023 10:40 PM 

sidenote
Current mood:  jubilant

I F***ING LOVE MYSELF

vampfreakfive

01/17/2023 04:35 AM 

I need some food.
Current mood:  hungry

IM. SO. TIRED. and nauseated, I might change my profile layout cause I'm bored. I miss my partner so much, why do they live across the f***ing world? UGH, I MISS AER. SO MUCH!!!  It's okay though, I'm sending them a package soon anyways, and I'm getting one from them!! I hope that's soon, very soon. I need a hair straightener, My sister lost the one we had. I'm gonna cut this short, I'm tired and I need sleep and I'm hungry, so hungry. 

funeral

01/16/2023 11:21 PM 

fantasy

feeling bored as hell might do more sh*t on my profile tomorrow but this f***ing song though Transylvanian Whore

Coppelia

01/16/2023 07:37 PM 

January 16th 2023
Current mood:  blah

Today was a bit of a dissapointment.  It started off with me having to wake up at four in the morning for work.  Me and my coworkers were supposed to have today off for Martin Luther King Jr. day but we ended up having to come in to move an office back to where it was before the floor people came in. I was already annoyed with this as I had to work nearly twenty four hours on Friday.  I was supposed to come in Saturday as well but, I couldn't go in after twenty two hours.   Anyways, today didn't have a great start.  Everyone had the mindset of, "get things done fast and over with" so that we could be back home by noon.  Everyone but Theo. We could have been done by noon if it wasn't for Theo.  We were moving offices so, me and my coworkers were focusing on the items that go back into the office.  Theo on the other hand was focused on cleaning windows in the hallway and taking three different twenty minute smoke breaks. My day took a better turn when my other coworker, Dan, decided to take me in on the project we was working on in the office.  He was working on re-wiring the phones and computers.  He taught me how to end a CAT-9 cable and I was pretty good at it too! We finished around one-fourty p.m.  After I clocked out I headed to my friend's work because she wanted an old blanket that I didn't want anymore. (It was a sally face blanket.) When I came home I ate some Chick-fil-a and played around on everskies.   I recently had to create a new Tumblr account so I'm trying to redo all my links and tags on there; as well as follow more people that have the same interests as me to lengthen my feed.

diary, journal, life updates

anti anti anti

01/15/2023 11:02 PM 

silly little things
Current mood:  drunk

i love being chronically online i love being a loser i love only having friends over the internet i love drinking i love smoking i love abusing my body i love choosing beauty of long term health i love being a human with selfish desires i love worldly possessions that will mean nothing when i die i love being alive and choosing my own path i love hating i love being dumb I LOVE BEING DUMB!!!

xxcrazy_cryptidxx

01/15/2023 10:32 PM 

MAI KANDIIIII
Current mood:  artistic

Herez it all 2getherrr       Mai first everrr cuff     (Left to right) gloomy bear inspired, random >_< rainbow face, pride, X pink green         (Left to right again) blue purple X base cuff, green 3d, ladder stitch black purple checker         (Left to right) rainbow octopus, star necklace, rainbow flower           Rainbow chain 4 Mai studded beltz          Bvb= black veil brides Swpb= snow whites poison bite Jinxx= guitarist for black veil brides Mcr= my chemical romance Trexxx= my first ever kandi trade         Yellow, black, white, purple= non-binary flag       HOPEFULLY U LIKED IT!!!

#kandi,#art,#bracelets,#scene,#emo,#octopus,#kandikid,#lgbtqpride,#lgbtq,#pride,#bands

Coppelia

01/15/2023 03:47 PM 

January 15th 2023
Current mood:  nostalgic

I haven't updated on here in a very long time.  I had a change of heart somewhere in the past, I thought that I was ready for recovery and tried my hand at it.  As it turns out, I was not ready for recovery.  I think I believed I was ready because I was in a relationship, I still am, and i didn't want to disappoint my partner.  My "recovery" turned into a few months long binge and me using the excuse that, "I'm in recovery" to give myself permission to stuff myself full of unhealthy and impure foods. I stopped taking my medications, I just don't think that they help me.  The only differences I can find between me on my meds and me off of them is; having a period more than just twice a year being able to loose weight easier and faster and being more emotional than before Off of my medications feels like looking at the world without my glasses; yes everything is blurry but I can see the true color of the people and things around me. I plan to be posting again as much as I posted before, hopefully everyday.   I've been trying to write in a journal but I just find it tiring as well as dangerous.  If something ends up happening and I get hospitalized my parents will go through my room and read everything I have written, where on a laptop they don't know my pin number.

diary, journal, life updates

lily ☆ flower

01/16/2023 09:27 AM 

Garfield History Fact of the Day
Current mood:  fascinated

Napoleon carried a vial of poison around his neck. This was so that if he was captured/defeated, he would commit suicide. He did end up drinking it but at the time it lost its strength and made him very ill instead.

lily ☆ flower

01/14/2023 04:48 PM 

Garfield History Fact of the Day
Current mood:  refreshed

Napoleon wasn't actually short. His recorded height at the time of his death might've been 5'2, but this was in French units. In modern units, he was about 5'7. Keep in mind the average height at the time was 5'5.

vampfreakfive

01/15/2023 04:05 PM 

I need to sleep.
Current mood:  sleepy

I gotta get to bed. It's like 4 am and I have school on the 16th.  I can only imagine how sh*tty school will be. Stupid preppy girls giggling and me not having a place cause of some reason, maybe it's cause I'm gay? or maybe it's my style? Whatever, they all are basic anyways, they call themselves emo and then wear the most basic thing ever, couldn't be me. These poser preps can suck one. I know this stupid bitch named "Presley" who wears the stupidest outfits ever, big shirts and big bell bottoms DONT LOOK GOOD TOGETHER. I repeat THEY ARE F***ING UGLY!!!  I mean, everything on her looks nasty. I would say "Wear some skinny jeans and a band tee and change up your hair! " but she's too ugly for that too,  god she makes my blood boil.  one time I moved a chair and she screamed at me for no reason, she wanted to sit in that specific chair, and she said "THAT'S NOT WHERE IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE!! YOU ARE AN IDIOT!!" Like she knows everything, I moved a chair for f***s sake!!!  Whatever, I'm moving homerooms, I begged the principal (well, not really) but still, she said she will, which I'm happy about, my friend Keith is there, and also Dimitri, which I wanna get to know him more, he seems very nice.  It will be weird getting used to the new schedule, but I'm sure I will be okay. I miss my partner a lot.  Ae is at a sleepover tonight, and they can't text. I miss them, I'm sure I can talk to them when they get back, I really love them, I've been thinking about them so much.  yeah, I should sleep, my other friend is supposed to come to my house today, the only reason I said they could is cause I'm bored and they wanna make bread for some reason?  it's weird, but it's alright, I like bread.  anyways, ill update you later, probably tomorrow night, well, goodnight. 

school, anger, love, diary, journal, sleep, night

lily ☆ flower

01/15/2023 12:39 PM 

Garfield History Fact of the Day
Current mood:  talkative

Napoleon Bonaparte wasn't afraid of cats, as widely believed, but Napoleon III was the one who was afraid of cats!

vampyre!!

01/14/2023 06:37 PM 

when??

its like 2023 now and it still doesnt look like the future -_-i always imagined it would be all robots and cyber and light blues and whites but its like it was a few years ago only worse!!and no offense, but the music these days is like... totes not it. what happened to the kinda songs that made we wanna go to a club when i got older? whenever i hear an old lady gaga song or an old david guetta song it makes me happy bcz i miss thosei hope sometime in this decade we get to a point that all those old movies showedi wanna live like a human in a world filled w robots

bri

01/14/2023 11:57 PM 

dumb lil ranty rant

Sometimes I get a little bummed out thinking about how my relationship with my fiance started. I have to constantly have this war with myself when I think about it because I battle back and forth. On one hand, I love that our relationship was built on friendship first. I think it's a healthy way to enter into this mutual feeling. I was going through a lot when we started to talk and he was there for me as a friend. Over time, we started to build this connection and decided that it needed to be explored. However, I hear stories he'll tell sometimes about other girls that he tried to be with and how it usually started with an initial attraction and sometimes I wish that could be me. I feel like our relationship started with me being interested first, as it usually does. I wouldn't necessarily say I had to chase him, because we kinda did start to fall for each other at the same time, but I would say that I was the person who fell deeper a little quicker than he did. I just sometimes wish that maybe he felt "damn, this girl is really pretty and I wanna get to know her more." or something like that. I know that thought didn't really occur. It's dumb, but dammit man, I wanna be objectified! I wanna be chased. (within reason of course). Of course, though, I do love that maybe this is the exact reason we started off so much stronger. The connection we have is much deeper than surface level, so I'm not actually mad about it or anything. I just think about it sometimes and I hear him talk about his past where he tried to flirt with people and ask for girls' numbers or use cheesy pick up lines on them and I never really got that.

Judas

01/13/2023 09:03 PM 

Part 1 of The Distance Between the Unfathomable Truths of Human Experience

Human experience is an everlasting moment. We try to define it, identify it, find the words for it, yet these all fall short and ultimately confine it to something smaller than it is. Everyone who has ever existed will claim to experience life yet it is only in very brief moments do we find another individual that is experiencing something even vaguely comparable to our own. To prove something through science is to be able to replicate it repeatedly- so how do we prove to each other and ourselves what it means to be a living human soul when this experience is so indescribable. I've spent hours searching for words that do not exist, so in my search to prove this feeling and experience I have lived so briefly still, I have created art.  In my collection of poems to which I title, The Distance Between the Unfathomable Truths of Human Experience, I try to encapsulate moments and feelings through whimsical imagery and impossibility that I will be writing and recording here as an essay for my poetry final..  Art is one of the timeless inherent aspects of human kind. It sets us apart from animals. It is our message to the future and our eyes into the past. It is through art and human creation can we prove our existence and experience. Where words and explanations have always fallen short, art has filled the gaps.     Fleeting   If this is all I may have, Then I am willing- To cradle this sunbeam at noon. I’ll entwine this beam Between slender, silver fingers- And stroll with it Hand in hand, Till half-seven  Toward an evening in June. I will swim through the water To the moon- On shiny beams, My crystalline barque; A celestial dream. For a moment, I’ve caught the tide- And cup a crescent lune. If this is all I may have- Then I am willing. Fleeting glimpses  haunt new fevers And obscured reflections In rippling, kaleidoscoping  moments That shift  at the touch of my cradled fingers. Grasping at the untouchable passage, In this quiet respite- I’m handed a sunbeam from you. In my poem, “Fleeting,” I try to convey short, sweet moments. Whether it be obvious things such as love, beauty, or some very specific moment that has brought joy. The inherent mortality of all things is bittersweet; which I describe through the metaphors of cradling the unphysical sunlight, or a reflected moon. Moments are beautiful- however ungraspable. I was similarly inspired by an untranslatable word “Saudade '' which is a Portuguese word describing a longing or nostalgia for something passed, or nonexistent.  Moments are brief and beautiful and we find ourselves looking back more than looking toward. “If this is all I may have, then I am willing” is my peaceful declaration of acceptance. Moments are brief and I am gracious to them. I compare this to a movement in time, in which I “stroll with it, Hand in hand, Till half-seven Toward an evening in June,” symbolic of going with these human moments as they happen, and as the poem progresses from noon- to evening- to night. This gradual closing of moments I am expressing is reiterated in “for a moment, I've caught the tide” and  how I can only keep up as they come because the tide will pass yet again.  The last nine lines of my poem are where I bring together the mood I want to tell. Initially, it was meant to be a sad and aching feeling of lost time haunted by memories. Yet, I remembered that this is a continuous living cycle. As I sat at my desk, I exhausted myself at how I could possibly create the most important part of my poem since I started it- which is ending it. My best friend waddled over to me from their corner in the room to show me the most ridiculous, and silly video. Suddenly the moment started again, and it was complete.   

Poetry, poems, philosophy

daniel

01/13/2023 11:36 PM 

daniel's monthly
Current mood:  electric

january's monthly is going to be my most involved and probably detailed monthly yet. i just have so much to talk about! i also want to start the new year off strong by making sure i get my monthlys in because, well, they're daniel's monthly. MY MONTHLY!i just want to start off by congradulating us all into the new year. my jan 1st was spent, oddly enough, being on the phone with a new friend i had met on the 25th of december. his name is fabian, he's 15, (turning 16 in may) austrian, bilingual, a history buff and plays the piano casually. when i tell y'all i am absolutely OBSESSED WITH HIM?? he's like the best guy friend i've ever had. he understands me so well.. he respects my name and pronouns and identity, hes confident in himself, he's literally the best. my literal male twin flame!i met him on discord (yea, i know, you can laugh now.) and since that day he's been the sweetest friend to me. hes so supportive! we have a pretty special relationship that we've developed from casual talking, but it all started when i stayed up all night for his austrian new year. it's called "silvester" and we were on the phone talking and playing games together for hours. we laughed and had lots of fun! he taught me so much about european culture and history, i feel like i've learned so much and we haven't even known each other for that long haha.austria is 6 hours ahead of me, so when it was 12 am for me it was 6 am for him. he was so tired but he stayed up for me. we shared secrets and whatnot with eachother, it was really special. he has the kindest soul ever and i feel so attached to him, especially when my 2022 wasn't the best. since that day on januarary 1st we spent every day on the phone together. winter break ended sadly enough and we had to go to school. since the timezones aren't synced, hes usually done with the school day by the time i wake up and he's sleep by the time i come home from school. it's sad, but me and fabio still find the time to talk. we're so intertwined within each other's lives, i've been nothing but happy the past 3 and a half weeks. fabio, i love you so much :{ so glad we met each other.  now, moving on from fabian..i finally have a piano class on my schedule for this new semester, so i'm slowly learning more and more. it's very difficult being in 2nd semester piano but i feel like im trying my hardest. i also have 6th period lunch with berry for the first time! with this first week of school in the new semester being finally over after today, i have had time to reflect a lot over what i think about all  of my classes as a whole and i think, i have to say, that i f***ing hate some if not most of the teacher changes. i stayed with the teachers i despise the most and changed some of my favorites. ITS SO UNREAL.. sometimes i hate this f***ing school LMAO godits hard to admit but .. ever since meeting fabian i've been a serious discord mod. in fact, ever since i joined berry's server in november getting on discord has been a routine of mine every day. i sound like a mod and i actually am a mod in berry's server so maybe that's a bad thing? either way im somewhat happy.  alright!! time for music and art sharing!  i'm gonna start including some songs of the month along with my monthlies and also a song that i haven't been able to stop listening to. january's song is... drum roll puhLEAASE....   i want a snake by awesome snakes!! https://youtu.be/2qCuM1e9DWIit&#39;s kind of a short punk rock song and it's so addicting to listen to. if you have a chance, i highly reccomend giving it a listen. also! i've been playing tons and tons of life is strange 2 and skate 3, but honestly my love for both games is a discussion for another day. this blog is long enough lmao.alright! time for art! that's it! bye for now!- daniel



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