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I think Mr. Sandman has found an enemy in me because he keeps sending me dreams of you. I toss and turn in cotton sheets all night, wondering how he could be so cruel.  But maybe you're the one who's sicced Mr. Sandman on me. You're the father of angels, yet himself a demon. Please prey on me because in my sleep is the only time I get to see you. I'm starting to think you like watching me suffer. Innocent girls in beds praying to be blessed by your presence strokes your ego, huh? The truth is you've probably cleansed me from your mind, and I conjure fantasies to pretend I wasn't just a passing whim.    -abbyabbyquitecontrary

reachingfinger tips barely able to containone foot and then the othercobblestone knee paina laugh, shrill and highdust motes catching your eyeturn the knob, open thereachinga small tickle from a stray hairadrenaline, false panicreachingan understanding

You all probably remember that I just got out of a VERY toxic and abusive household last September. It was certainly the best thing I have ever done for myself and I am extremely grateful to have this new family watch over me and aid me towards my success. So after I got through the initial pain of moving out, and now cut off all contact completely, I've been feeling so much better now. I have more motivation and I am happier now that I finally have some stability in my life. I also got back in touch with a friend of mine who was also abused by this same person, and we've been celebrating and practicing our spiritual growth together. I also have a stable job too now at a gas station. For some weird reason, the past three jobs I've had, I had managers that were gay. It helps a lot as far as non discrimination in the workplace since your boss is a fellow LGBT. I've been saving up money since I've started there. I also got back on some medication I have needed for a while. Insurance was giving me trouble so I got to switch over to a better plan last month and it just kicked in this week. I have the paperwork to legally change my name.I also emailed my dream school for aid on applying and getting grants. It's highly likely I will be moving to New Jersey this summer. My backup plan if this falls through is to go to University of Belleville. Tristan also mailed me some new shirts which helped a lot because I only had two outfits to my name before his help. I now own three bleeding star shirts (a scene/Emo fossil). Forever thankful for his help. What are my new goals for 2019?Get my drivers lisence, change my name, apply for college, get my grants/loans, work on getting my tax returns that I missed since 2014, pay off some of my bills, get a cheap car, meet new friends to connect with, and keep toxic people out of my life.Anyways, I'm wishing everyone a happy 2019. Remember to make some noise! Killjoys never die.

Hello, world! My name is Cassie. I don't very often give out my last name, 1. because I enjoy my privacy, and 2. well, I have my father's last name, and it's normally really difficult to always have to explain to people that, NO, I DO NOT know any other people I may be related to with that last name because I've never MET anyone on my father's side of the family, nor have  I really ever seen my father. Anyway, so Cassidilla was  my nickname when I was growing up, so I figured it would be kind of funny  to use it as a nickname on social media. And it actually isn't pronounced like Quesadilla (key-suh-dee-uh). It's like (cas-suh-dil-la). Just sort of wanted to clear that up a bit!Well, now since you have the full story of my name, I guess I'll share some facts about myself with you! Which should be interesting. It always seems like we know so much about ourselves, except for when we ACTUALLY have to tell people about ourselves. Someone asks what your hobbies are, and then suddenly you're like, "Who the hell am  I??" ~Anything horror related is literally my favorite. Horror movies, creepypasta, scary videos, ghost hunting, scary tv shows, whatever, you name it! I love stuff that'll scare the hell out of normal people, but I do not like gore. I can watch stuff that would make a normal person probably piss their pants, but I CANNOT handle blood and torture and stuff and like that. It really messes me up and makes me queasy. ~I think growing up with Bratz dolls really shaped who I am today, considering  the fact that makeup and fashion are literally my life right now. I'm more into makeup than fashion though, it's just, if you're going to have absolutely amazing makeup, you have to have absolutely amazing clothes to go with it! You feel me? Anyway, so my entire plan was to have this huge makeup YouTube channel and Instagram or whatever, but I'm kind of taking my time with my real life right now before I actually try to get too involved into social media. ~Video games are also another one of my passions. I literally grew up  with a bunch of boys, so how was I not supposed to be involved in video games? I think I will forever miss the days of the playing the Nintendo 64, and I also miss my GameCube... or our Playstation.. or anything, really. Now, you can catch me on the PS4, which I actually have a huge dislike for. I mainly use it for Fortnite, or like, streaming Netflix, sadly. But the Xbox One, I play all sorts of stuff, like Ark, State of Decay 2, Skyrim, Left 4 Dead, and all kinds of crap. On the PC, I just play League of Legends, World of Warcraft, Amnesia, because to me it's still fun, and Neverwinter. So. Yeah. ~I dress all emo and goth and stuff sometimes, but honestly, my favorite color is pink. Literally no one ever believes me when I say it, but I SWEAR, it doesn't matter that I wear all black all the time, okay, it's still my favorite color. xD Pink and black, baby! ~I actually take a huge interest in witchcraft, which a lot of people think is creepy, but it's honestly an amazing and whole new world! I mean, I've never practiced anything, but I have been studying a lot of it. To me, it's just fun to learn about all that kind of crap. ~I also take interest in learning about different religions. It's so fascinating to learn about what other people worship, and stuff like that. I took a World Religions class a little while ago, and it literally blew my mind. The way the world and all its cultures work is so amazing. ~I'm a nature FREAK. If I literally see that someone has littered the woods where I go on walks, or even ditches by the road, I'll get a bag and clean that sh*t up. Recycle, ya'll!!!! What're you gonna do when you have kids and you can't even take them swimming because the water is too toxic and dangerous??? ~I have a legitimate fear of stuff underwater. Like, if I can't see through water or anything, I freak the hell out. I won't go in it. What's under there? I think it all seriously started when I was younger, and every time we'd swim in the pond, my cousin's would be like, "Oh, there's like this giant ass turtle that's gonna grab your legs and drag you under and kill you." Like,  oh my gosh, thank you for telling me that!!! And I guess that just scarred me for life. xD I can't really think of much else, honestly. I feel like I've gone too far and too weird now haha. But, I hope maybe you've gotten a good understanding of who I am and stuff now!!! Maybe you can tell me a little bit about yourself, too?? xD 

Relationship length: 5 years 7 months Married: noWho’s older: himAge difference: 1 year & 4 monthsWho was interested first? MeWho’s taller: He isWorst temper: meMost sensitive: MeLoudest: meFunniest: himMost stubborn: himFalls asleep first: HimCooks better: himBetter singer: it's a tie haha jk i believe he is Most adventurous: ehh we're about the same Most organized: I'd say we're about the same. Lol Better morning person: himDresses the nicest: bothMost protective: bothBest Driver: himHas the most clothes: I say him lol

i don't really know what i'll be doing on this blog? probably posting some playlists i made and mebbe some of my doodles idki'm kinda stupid + english is not my mother tongue so i'm sorry if i don't make sense, or if my grammar and spelling is sh*teso yea uh i hope you're having a great day!!♪: Pulled Up - Talking Heads

my friends used to be my outleti plugged in my problems and out came energybut now when i stick in my wiresi can't even manage a spark of electricity -lost of interest

i might go back to using this as a pseudo-diary (like the other 5 i have including my twitter) for more off-the-cuff kind of stuff. if i just really need to RAMBLE. the kind of thing that twitter doesn't let you do. like twitter lets you just stream whatever you are currently thinking but you can't really write out whole paragraphs or a complete thought, just tiny summaries.*hops from that train of thought to a completely different one* my physical therapist says i have been getting stronger which really makes me happy to hear. just sucks that we can't continue because we're worried what the strain of standing could do to my hips and legs and we can't get into a freaking orthopedist because they want my entire medical record from my old doctors. my entire record spanning 16 years, everything. doesn't matter that sometimes i went there every week, they want all those notes, surgery records, everything!! so thats been the only thing holding us back from actually getting in to see one. blehalso i've been getting back into wicca/witchcraft  "new year new me" as the saying goes...

Magickal Graphics

Going back to college has been brutal. I've invested a lot of effort this time around, since I did so poorly last time. In Fall 2017 and Spring 2018, I took 12 and 14 units respectively and still managed to get straight A's! I haven't been doing classes during Summer session. In Winter 2018, I took Japanese 1 and got a B. This Fall 2018, I got two A's and one B. Could have done better but I was also working part time on campus, 25 hours a week. It was tough. This winter (2019 session), I'm taking yoga and indoor cycling to try and get in shape! Spring 2019 will be my last semester at PCC. I've applied to a few CSU's... we'll see where I got accepted in a few months. For now though, I'm on winter break, and it's so nice to be a lazy bum. I've been spending so much time playing my favorite online game, Mabinogi. My current character, yarncore (Tarlach server), is getting super strong! :D

Magickal Graphics

Janus asked me to go to the ball thing with her cos I'm her client male friend yesterday cos I asked her for info on when it was cos going seemed good and I wanted to show off suit jacket coat thing that was made for me and I'm partially excited for that but that was a while ago in the day comparatively but a gifset I saw on Tumblr made me really really wanna kiss Rose a ton and the actual picture that made me want to do it is kinda dumb but it's not very good for excitement levels and that's why I can't sleep

FOR EVERYONE WHOWANTS THEM !Remember: You can put your name or other text on these as long as you don't cover up any Scrap Kit Artist credit. Anyone is welcome to save the ones with no name on them.BELIEVE IN SANTAFADING NEW YEARFADING YEARFADING YEAR PEACEFATHER CHRISTMASHOLLY ELFNAUGHTY OR NICEWINTERS DAWN NEW YEARWINTERS DAWN PEACEWINTERS DAWN SEPTEMBERWINTERS DAWN SNOWWITH NAMES:BRENDABRUCE THE ALIENWHISPERMERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

I'm getting a grey and white 2005 furby for christmas oh my god i'm so excited. I've already planned to name him Ryo and buy him some bing ass jewelry which I have been saving for. I'm also defo giving him a sparkly green left earring from Ash Lynx ♥I'll post furby pics when I get him after Christmas. Also, how is everyone?

KILL! SMILE!CUT IT OUT FOR ME THIS TIME!