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trainer ethan !! ✭

10/09/2022 04:30 PM 

the world isn't meant for machines like me.

trigger  warning  :  derealization/depersonalization,  parental  abuse.Machine  Girl  by  Weevildoing  hits  close  to  home.  very  close  to  home.about  my  strugges  with  chronic  depression  (possibly  dysthemia,  I  need  to  research),  my  derealization/depersonalization,  and  how  both  have  played  into  my  alterhumanity.I've  had  depression  for  over  half  a  decade.  It  was  doomed  to  happen  with  or  without  my  mom's  influince,  my  dad  had  been  formally  diagnosed  before  and  is  also  trying  to  work  on  his  mental  health  along  with  me,  but  he's  a  different  discussion  for  another  time.What  had  happened  at  home  since  my  earliest  memories  just  amplified  what  I  was  going  through  times  a  million.  An  autistic  ADHD  kid  with  early  onset  schizophrenia  and  neglect  and  "punishments"  sure  as  hell  don't  go  well  together.  Everyone  should  know  this  by  now,  but  some  people  just   dont  beleive  in  mental  illness  due  to  their  own  background  and  culture.  So  is  the  nature  of  growing  up  mixed  race,  on  one  end  "its  okay  to  be  sad",  and  then  theres  "stop  being  a  snowflake  and  suck  it  up  child  of  9  years".I  couldnt  be  myself  under  the  roof  I  was  in.  I  still  cant.  Any  ounce  of  an  opinion  or  concern  is  shut  down  with  yellling.You  eventually  get  used  to  it,  becoming  a  husk  of  what  shouldve  been  a  happy,  carefree  child,  enjoying  school  and  time  with  family.  You  feel  empty,  you  start  to  be  reckless  with  your  actions  to  get  some  sort  of  feeling  out  of  it,  only  to  figure  out  its  against  the  rules.   No  one  tells  you  why  its  wrong,  so  it  keeps  happening.Until  eventually  you  have  to  put  up  a  front  for  everyone  to  stop  worrying.  The  front  behaves  the  way  people  would  expect  you  to  in  certain  places  to  the  best  it  can.  And  then its  hard  to  let  your  guard  down,  even  with  someone  who  swears  up  and  down  that  you  can  trust  them  and  that  they  wont  hurt  you.  If  you  rip  the  front  away  from  yourself,  you  rip  of  the  rest  of  the  flesh  and  nerves  from  it.  you  see  yourself  lose  the  things  that  made  you  you,  because  having  individuality  would  be  weird  and  bad  and  it  will  get  me  shunned,  and  see  nothing  but  the  same  meat-and-bone  baseline  everyone achives  at  dont  know  what  you  are  anymore.  you  dont  know  who  you  are  anymore.  you  feel  like  a  broken  person.  but  "person"  seems  like  the  wrong  word,  you  dont  feel  like  a   "person"  in  the  sense  that  you  are  human.  this  body  is  not  truly  what  you  are.  you  feel  yourself  more  to  be  a   machine  at  this  point.  a  malfunction  of  a  being,  ridden  with  viruses  to  the  point  barely  anything  can  run  on  its  hardware  anymore.  more  than  2  tabs  open  could  make  it  crash  entirely,  shutting  down  for  hours  or'd  think  this isnt  normal.  this  really   isnt.  so  you  see  someone  about  it,  see  the  internet,  and  they  give  you  words  for  it.  words  you  know  have  been  tossed  around  you  before,  but  didnt  know  that  they  meant  what  you  where  feeling.  and  you  figure  out  there  are  ways  to  troubleshoot  yourself.  there  are  antiviruses.  but  once  you  have  those  in  your  grasp,  it  feels  like  the  world  snatches  them  back  from  you,  and  all  of  a  sudden,  youre  6  in  your  bedroom  again,  hiding  and  huddling.and  youre  forced  back  into  the  isolation  you  dreaded so  much.  you're  stuck.  you  feel  like  no  one  wants  to  help  you,  and  no  one  will  ever  want  to  help  you,  because  youre  "too  broken".  they  might  as  well  throw  you  in  the  junk  yard,  because  you  feel  like  thats  where  you  belong.youre  stuck  being  this  shell  of   a  being,  and  you  cant  remember  when  it  first  started.  all  you  know  is  that  its  been  years  since  you've  felt  happy,  or  felt  joy.  and  you  feel  so  old  yet  you've  only  been  on  this  planet  for  16  years.. . .  this  is  why  I  connect  with  Machine  Girl  so much.It  hits  the  nail  right  on  the  head  with  how  Ive  drifted  through  life,  and  I  have  music  to  thank  for  that.  helping  me  express  the  things  Ive  felt  for  nearly  a  decade  through  poetry  and  sound.Towne  is  good  at  their  craft,  even  if  its  one  of  their  older  works  and  theyre  less  proud  of  it,  its  just  as  good  and  has  a  similar  feel  to  their  TPTM  album  currently  in  progress.Who  knew  there  where  people  out  there  who  felt  exactly  the  way  I  did  ?

mental illness,vent

trainer ethan !! ✭

10/09/2022 03:53 PM 

relationships & aromanticism

to  those  who  know  me  closer,  I  doubt  they're  even  active  on  here  at  all,  they  all  know  I  like  talking  about  orientation.  I'm  really  big  in  that  sort  of  thing,  I  like  having  extended  dicussions  on  how  we  view  the  world,  trying  to  pinpoint  the  emotions we  got  going  on  in  our  meatwad  of  flesh-especially  since  I  don't  have  many  friends  who  are  aroace,  like  I  am  in  a  way.  I  only  have  maybe,  one  or  two  friends  who  are  ?  even  so,  sadly  I  don't  talk  with  them  often.  alot  of  my  current  friends  are  strictly  alloromantic,  allosexual  or  both.  which  kinda  gets  me  in  a  way,  as  much  as  I  love  all  of  my  friends.  I  forget  that  they  are,  for  brief  moments.and  in  a  way,  I'm  still  in  the  phase  of  procesisng  all  of  this  new  and  recent  information  with  me,  I've  been  identifying  on  the  aromantic  and  asexual  spectrum  for  a  little  over  a  year  now.  I'm  already   a  forgetful  thing,  but  I'm  still  coming  around  to  accepting  that  not  everyone  is  feeling  how  I'm  feeling.  most  people  I'm  around  and  tend  to  attract  don't  rarely  have  crushes,  they  have  them  all  the  time.  most  people  think  of  sex  when  it  comes  to  a  romantic  relationship,  and  how  the  sexual  and  romantic  attraction  play  into  eachother.  most  people  know  what  both  feel  like.I,  on  the  other  hand,  do  not.  I  havent  felt  an  ounce  of  attraction  until  5th  grade.  My  first  crush  identified  as  a  girl  at  the  time,  I  was  a  girl-kisser  in  denail.  Because  up  to  that  point  I  had  just  assumed  that  imagining  these  overly  romantic  things  in  nature  is  what  gal-pals  did.  or  I  pushed  the  thoughts  out  entirely,  thinking  I  needed  to  like  a  boy  only,  and  people  would  think  I  was  more  of  a  weirdo  for  liking  girls  ontop  of  still  liking  MLP.  He'll  never  read  this,  which  is  GOOD  he  should  NEVER  find  this  I  will  JUMP  OF  THE  NORTHWEST  BRIDGE  (/silly,  I  will  not  do  it  I  swear),  but  at  this  point,  he knows  I  like  him.  neither  of  us  are  women  now,  but  my  feelings  dont  change  for  him  at  all.  and  even  if  he  doesnt  feel  the  same  way  back  to  me,  I  am  compleyely  okay  with  that.  I  just  want  him  to  be  happy,  I  dont  care  about  my  selfish  desires  of  dating  him  at  that  point.The  next  that  I  latched  onto  was  actually  a  guy.  We  met  online  through  Steven  Universe  back  when  the  movie  first  came  out.  I  was  absolutely  in  LOVE  with  the  movie  and  would  never  shut  up  about  it,  and  I  still  adore  SU  and  its  movie  to  this  day.  Though  that  boy  ?  ...  not  so  much.He  was  a  horribly  raicst,  transphobic  and  uneducated  person,  paired  with  my  anti-cringe  culture,  white/black  mixed  race,  tumblr-woke  ass.  It  was  4chan  x  Tumblr  all  over  again,  but  imagine  it  being  horrifically  controllilng,  and  even  with  my  own  horrific  actions  with  this  boy,  I'd  never  stoop  so  low.  moving  on.Another  one,  more  recent.  I  met  her  in  late  2021,  months  after  the  last.  I  was  vulnerable,  and  still  terrified  and  hurt  from  the  abuse  I  suffered  in  that  past  relationship.  I  should've  given  myself  some  more  time.  Though  at  this  point,  I  had  figured  out  I  was  asexual  and  arospec.  I  didnt  know  where  I  was  along  the  lines  of  aromantic,  but  I  just  knew  I  was  what  I  was.  It  was  love  at  first  sight,  just  like  the last  boy.She  seemed  kind  and  caring,  listeing  to  me  through  all  of  my  troubles,  and  I  found  so  much  comfort  in  being  held  and  protected  by  her,  and  protecting  her  as  well,  helping  in  the  ways  I  knew  would  make  things  at  least  a little  better  for  the  both  of  us.  I  never  wanted  to  let  go.  I  fawned  over  her.but  we  where  both  stupid,  and  that  woman  didnt  know   how  to  shut  up.I  kept  thinking  things  where  going  to  work,  but  you  cant  work  things  out  with  someone  who'll  give  up  when  you  try  to  push  them  in  the  right  direction.  she  was  too  lazy  to  put  in  any  sort  of  effort,  so  she  ran  away  from  our  issues  every  chance  she  could.  and  as  much  as  I  was  in  love  with  her,  I  hate  people  like  that.  I  cant  bare  to  love  someone  so  cowardly.  I  had  never  "attempted"  over  someone  before,  but  she  was  the  first.  there  where  so  many  red  flags,  lies  told  to  my  face,  backstabbing,  and  I  had  to  hear  about  all  of  it  through  one  of  my  cuirrent  partners  and  his  boyfriend.  She  even  tried  to  win  me  back  with  a  poem,  but  the  damage  was  already  done. I  am  never  going  back  to  something  that  was  just  my  previous  ex,  but  not  openly  racist.but  now,  one  of  my  current  partners.  my  husband.I  love  talking  about  him,  I  never  thought  I'd  be  here,  WE  never  thought  we'd  even  get  together,  but  I  decided  to  no  longer  be  a  scaredy-cat  on  valentines  earlier  this  year.  it  was  while  I  was  with  the  previous  girlfriend,  and  in  my  first  ""formal  polycule"".  I  met  him  shortly  after  her,  because  apparentlty  they  where  friends  for  years,  and  he  watched  as  she  figured  herself  out,  and  flip  through  people.I  originally  wanted  to  wait  a  few  months  after  what  had  happened  recently  with  him  all  those  months  ago.  He  had  been  through  so  much,  and  I'd  feel  awful  jumping  onto  him  weeks  after.  I  also  thought  he  was  too  good  for  me,  and  that  I  didnt  deserve  someone  as  nice  as  he  was.  It  felt  so  wrong  to  be  treated  with  care  after  being  told  you  where  so  horrible.  But  here  he  is,  this  wonderful  ray  of  sunshine,  coming  through  to  remind  me  that  I'm  not  the  unlovable  piece  of  disposeble  trash  I  think  I  am.He  asked  me  all  about  the  things  I  liked,  whilst  I  did  the  same.  Through  all  the  discussions  full  of  casual  rp  affection  because  its  the  best  we  can  muster,  we  know  eachother  and  the  things  we  adore  like  the  back  of  our  hands.  We  share  so  much  in  common  as  well,  and  I  helped  him  figure  himself  out,  with  his  orientation,  gender,  anything  I  was  able  to  and  that  he'd  let  me  give  suggestions  on.  And  we'd  be  so  comfortable  being  open  with  eachother  about  everything  on  our  silly,  gay  little  minds.sometimes  we  stare  at  eachothers  phones,  forgetting  for  a  moment  that  we're  even  dating  and  that  it's  like  we  had  quiet   crushes  on  eachother  all  over  again.  he's  just  so  pretty,  it's  hard  not  to  get  lost  in  the  soft  tone  of  his  voice  and  that  cute  little  laugh  of  his  with  every  bit  I  try  to pull.  Those  moments  are  everything  to  me.and  there  is  another,  but  I  don't  think  I  should  bring  it  to  the  public  juuust  yet.and  with  all  of  this,  I  have  expirienced  love  in  ways  I  both  shouldve  had  much  earlier,  and  shouldve  never  had  to  begin  with.  but  you'd  think  that  having  only 4-5  times  youve  actually  crushed  on  someone  genuinely,  to  be  thinking  about  them  day  and  night,  only  having  it  those  few  times  isnt  allo?   yeah  that  isnt  allo,  I  figured  that  out,  I  think  the  term  greyromantic  fits  the  bill  in  that  case.while  I  love  the  idea  of  love,  I  love  romance,  I  love  giving  advice,  I've  rarely  felt  it  in  my  entire  life.  It  gives  me  more  of  a   sense  of  disconnect  from  the  topic,  and  from  other   people  as  a  whole  because  of  how  infrequent  it  is.  I  didnt  feel  normal,  but  a  different  "flavor"  from  all  the  "alientaiton  because  of  having  a  neurological  disorder  and  multiple  other  mental  illnesses".and  I  dont  have  to  be  normal.  I  love  being  who  I  am  shamelessly.suck  my  ass.  :] 



10/09/2022 06:06 PM 

Quintaria Book IV the Other Half to This Medium short story

Damien The Dark…challenged a great wizard of good that is highly respected and thought of throughout Quintaria. Damien The Dark is an evil sorcerer who made an alliance with Queen Elfindel. See Elfindel is actually a warlock but a witch in disguise. Norgred at met Damien in The Castle of Dark it was very dark inside but lucky there was light to guide him. Damien the Dark came back! and was thought to be dead! Though the new Green Wizard slayed Damien the Dark once and for all! in the battle of the wizards! Jesus only appeared in a scene and that was it, he just wanted everybody to know that he is still here, that he is everlasting…immortal is word that defines eternity! He only showed up cause the God the father of the universe was at war! against the other God's of Egyptia! The people's of Egyptia looked up to, too many God's and lost site of what's right! A look back! At it's only the Beginning! Captain Blackfist joins Vampyric Captain Blackfist captain of The Onyx! has got a proposal to join Vampyric cause after all it was Blackfist who lent Vampyric one forth of his crew but Vampyric bit them and they became The Pirates of Vampyric!Captain Blackfist joins Vampyric but under one condition that no vampire nor even Vampyric himself is ever allowed to bit him nor the rest of his crew. Vampyric accepted the offer they all set out for the Jewel of Xenthorpe. The Jewel of Xenthorpe was taken by the young warrior Dante back into Mystic. Xenthorpe was located in a cave located in a mountain known to all as Jewel Mountain for the wondrous jewels, treasures inside the Dwarves of Quintaria love mining for treasures. The Pirates of Vampyric, Captain Blackfists pirates arrived in Mystic the fought the Mystic's which were like an Elvish race. They fought, fought each other quite a few Mystic's died but a lot of Captain Blackfists pirates were slayed even the Pirates of Vampyric which were killed with Mystic Spears which the young warrior Dante had ordered specially made with a wooden tip on the spears. The Mystic's even guillotined some vampires. Vampyric and Captain Blackfist retreated to the seas but they had to use horses to get back to their ships The Vampyren! And The Onyx! The Oynx, the Crimson tide, the Vampyren were all destroyed in battle!Chapter 10Lord Zoltar's Kingdom…Lord Zoltar is shown and his kingdom amazingly wondrous. I'am Lord Zoltar lord of Egyptia…but I shall make… this guy Victor the Egyptian Wizard my servant… no you shall make me king…I won't accept any less my lord… my master I shall do your bidding but I want Egyptia as mine to rule along side with you. I shall make slaves of Egyptia and they will be workers, servants to my rule. Many tried to oppose Zoltar but they met their death. Lord Zoltar even had an engraved image of himself… that said Hail Zoltar! Zoltar was a pharaoh among pharaohs but he didn't dress as a pharaoh…He was on a quest to become immortal and all he need to do was to perform a ritual but first he needed a golden rod which had an inscription on it. Lord Zoltar is no more! and for good reasons! His statue is no more and was knocked over!The Emerald Tavern…The Emerald Tavern… A place where all come to have a place to stay and rest, or stay and have a drink. The Emerald Tavern is royal and is filled with emeralds. The cost to stay is 10 pieces of gold… The Elv's, Dwarves of Quintaria know about the Emerald Tavern there is also a shop there where you can buy weapons, sell weapons, upgrade armor, or sell armor. The peoples of Starr knows about The Emerald as well the Emerald is beloved by many and it's a favorite place among Quintaria. There even was a woman with black hair wearing a green dress very sexy she is yet tempting at the same time. The Emerald Tavern is the most popular out of all five Quintarian taverns in fact Dante's friend Johan got married there! and Michael Saige a singer performed there! at the Quintarian tavern known as the Emerald!A look back at the Moon Princess!The Moon Princess The Moon Princess was seen in a palace… wearing blue…very sexy and very beautiful… The Moon Princess was only a myth within Quintaria… but she came to be real the story was true… she had a kingdom…The Plane of The Moon the kingdom is a magical plane... that takes place on a moon but not of Quintaria... It's a realm outside of Quintaria...but is linked to Quintaria… The young warrior Dante was told by Norgred to see The Moon Princess Valerie…he went to see her she was so beautiful but she was being held hostage by The Black Knight… he was a knight in pitch-black armor. He fought the Black Knight till he was knocked down then he took his Sword of Valor and hit him with it now the princess is free the young warrior said and they kissed you can marry me and be a part of my kingdom but he couldn't marry too much war going on the young warrior said now your free then if I shall part from you warrior then I shall give you a compassionate kiss so they kissed. The young warrior then left the Plane of The Moon back to Quintaria.Dante went back and gave the moon princess Moon flowers! of royal blue color! they visited for a couple days!The Light Council which means a group of men in white cloaks with white dragons light meaning pure…it doesn't matter the color of your skin All of Quintaria's people have warm clothes those who don't live in the Forests of Tranqulity where there is water, fruit available moderation must be shown or they're banished from the forest most people there have no money but have sought to establish their own clan The protectors of Tranqulity they have gotten jobs in the villages, towns. It's always important to believe in God, or a creator.Chapter 11A Look Back at Ordimus! Ordimus The ProtectorThere is this protector from the heat for those in need and who want the sun to be covered by the clouds… Ordimus The Cloud like god is seen he's nice and friendly… but is very magical…and is very humble… Ordimus The Kind is what is name should be… people don't worship Ordimus but they love him… and ask for his shield so that the skies may be covered from the heat…in Quintaria they worship God the creator of life, the creator of Heaven. Pyrofalcon otherwise known as Son of The Phoenix… was a Sun Falcon to many times he got upset and it was so hot… he didn't mind he was one with the Sun. Though if it would get too hot Ordimus would cover the sky, shade the peoples of Quintaria. He was summoned so it would be shady, so that it may rain! and so the grass could be more green!A Look Back at the Beariens, the Lizardmen of Quintaria!The Beariens The Beariens a race of bear like beings all the way from grizzly bears to black bears to brown bears they wield their battle Axes of Bearien. The Bearman is a warrior among warriors…he is the leader of the Beariens…They were in a battle against The Lizardmen of Reptilious…The Beariens had quite a battle against the Lizardmen many Lizardmen were slayed with Bearien Axes the rest retreated back to Reptilious their leader was quite furious. Kemilon head of the Dwarven council and Jarlos head of the Elven council went into Bearien and fought along side with the Beariens Kemilon's Axe was very special and Jarlos's Arrows were special arrows indeed infact magical. They fought and fought but there was none of the Lizardmen left to slay and cause of this The Lizard-King will be very upset to find out none returned... The Bearman said thank you Jarlos, thank you Kemilon... you are both greatly appreciated and thought of by us Beariens. There was actually a good clan of lizards! and they were facing the brown lizards!Chapter 12The Darkstar Rostan!Darkstar Rostan is seen in his Toxidareon castle then over where Darblake is, is his fortress. and his black dragon not The Black Pearl but just BlackPearl that's his name BlackPearl. Rostan controls a section of black dragons, crimson dragons which equals to twenty five black dragons and twenty five crimson red dragons. Once Darklord Gendon found out about Rostan he wanted to form an alliance for it was Gendon who controlled the rest of the black dragons, crimson dragons. Though also as well Queen Elfindel controlled mainly the crimson dragons and Vampyric controlled the black dragons… The White Guardians of Quintaria, the yellow dragons of Jenotha… set to battle the legion of evil dragons. There are also blue dragons, purple dragons, ice dragons that are good dragons. Rostan also had majestic looking cyborgs he created in knights armor called the T-7 Series but he sent them to Espitinu which then the T-7 Series took over Espitinu. Well the T-7 Series were deactivated for their was no reason for them to fight for the Machindon Knights were no more! Darkstar Rostan was no more but Elfindel tried to bring him back but to no avail! and without Rostan the Machindon Knights were nothing! that and without the Darklord Gendon! they couldn't be activated! A look back at Dante's battle against Zoltar! The Young Warrior had set out on a journey to challenge Mysticwolf who is not scary at all but who has mystical powers. If the Young Warrior was somehow able to defeat Mysticwolf He would can The Amulet of Mysticwolf…making him one with Mysticwolf… thus giving the young warrior all his powers. Lord Zoltar you shall pay! so he goes on an adventure… and he travels through the Lands of Mystic once he gets back and tells Deslon of his victory and that he has claimed the powers of Mysticwolf the legend. He battled some Goblins of Gobellion who were told by Elfindel that the young warrior was on his way home to Mystic.Lord Zoltar you shall pay and so shall the Egyptian King… I banish you from Egyptia Victor! what! You can't do that to me! yes I can and I just did!…I shall comeback…I swear… I will find my way back into Egyptia you watch… and with that the young warrior had him arrested… Nooo! You shall pay for this! I don't think so… Lord Zoltar then speaks let Victor back into Egyptia… and I'll give you anything you want… No! he will not be set free… then you shall die young warrior…then I shall die with honor… so be it…then…ah but you see I have the powers now of the legendary Mysticwolf I managed to defeat him! you what! yes and I took his sword! The Sword of Mysticwolf! then to the death we shall fight… Lord Zoltar withdraws his Sword of Egyptia! and they clash swords prepare to meet your end Lord Zoltar well prepare to meet your death young warrior. So they clash and they clash and it was a good battle indeed… Lord Zoltar used his Ancient Egyptian Staff of Horus to magically knock down the young warrior named Dante but the warrior got up and fought on until Lord Zoltar was slayed with the Sword of Mysticwolf! While Lord Zoltar and Dante fought Victor had escaped! And he killed the guards watching him he used his Egyptian Witchcraft to kill them but depending if he's an Egyptian wizard that practices white magic, or a wizard that practices black magic is a different thing all in itself. This Egyptian Wizard is an evil wizard of black magic. Once Dante got word from his fellow warrior's which serve him as fellow knights that Victor escaped he was nowhere to be seen but was hiding in Zoltar's fortress underneath Zoltar's throne room which leads to a secret passage their he regained his plans and then used his black magic to create slaves and possessed them to do his will. The Egyptian King needs to realize that those in slavery will cry for a hero and that they would be freed from his power in Quintaria everybody has free will. Nothing's predetermined and it's live free or die cause what is life without freedom. But you see Zoltar was slayed in the first book The Alliance!, and of God!Global Originator Divine!There is the Plane of Harmony which has a female named Vanessa she is like paradise with her humble beauty that was used when Sharaun ended up fighting the Darklord's Army. The Darklord Gendon was contempt with the fact that his Hellfire Kingdom was his own to rule and that all who are in it bow to his every command though one day the Hellfire Kingdom will be no more, soon within a few years the hellfire Kingdom will be destroyed! The spirit walkers "the Undead" who had unfinished business ended up fighting' against Darklord's army. Shauraun got the Axe of Valor to use in his fight against Gendon's army… The Darklord of the Hellfire Kingdom Gendon! Was slayed in the first book and for good reasons! he was a threat to Quintaria!Chapter 13The Tales of the Tiger From ReslinThis chapter takes about the Seven Shard's of Evil that Sharaun had to destroy! and this is what Queen Elfindel, Vampyric tried to use for their plans of world domination!The Seven Shards of EvilSharaun was on his last mission to destroy the seven shards… The Shard of Lust, the Shard of Fear, the Shard of Wrath, the Shard of War, the Shard of Elfindel, the Shard of Vampyric, the Shard of Darkness… Sharaun had to enter 7 planes he had to destroy each shard to move on to the next until he reached the very last one if he died all hope was lost. The Shard of Lust was located in the Plane of Lust with many possessed females they were possessed by demons as well as lust for war…Sharaun fought many demons in this plane and then at the end of this plane he destroyed the Shard of Lust…Sharaun had a challenge to face Wraiths that looked like Reaper's But Sharaun feared not cause that's why he was chosen to go on this sacred mission to destroy the seven evil shards. He destroyed all the Wraiths with his Flame Sword and then at the end of the plane the Shard of Fear layed before the mighty warrior. Sharaun destroyed it and then he was taken to the next plane the Plane of Wrath. The Plane of Wrath The Plane of Wrath was filled with Wrath Warrior's Sharaun ran across many Wrath Warrior's along his way… Sharaun is very experienced now and he slayed all the Wrath Warrior's and gained even more experience. Sharaun then destroyed the Shard of Wrath and went on to his next mission to destroy the next sharThe area was not completely dark and had some light Sharaun dodged his flame attacks from his breath he even had his Tigerean Shield and used it to block many attacks. Sharaun slayed the black dragon with his Tigerean Axe. Then Sharaun destroyed the Shard of Darkness and then he transported back to Quintaria. No more planes, no more evil shards for they all were destroyed by Sharaun. Elfindel has gone mad and Vampyric trying to find a master plan but we have not heard the last from Queen Elfindel, Vampyric.The Seven shards had to be destroyed and they were by the warrior Sharaun and from the White Guardians of Quintaria to the purple cloaked wizard Norgred the darkness would have a fight they would never forget. Synopsis: Now with all the evil slayed…and Vampyric, Elfindel no more… and the Witch Emperor slayed. The darkness is no more! and the light is everlasting! and eternal! Quintaria! The best fantasy epic of All time!Reslin the Tiger of Truth and the Lion Emperor showed up and the Shadow lion Leslion The Lion Emperor Zestri…they combated evil back and forth they did. They fought with their paws Deslon appeared for QUINTARIA For honor for dignity for integrity!!! for GOD GOD is GREAT and his Son is too!!!13 wondrous chapters brings Book 4 to a close, to an end for now ... That is until Maurdon shows up…and something well more magical as well but through GOD is the mystical possible.


10/09/2022 06:04 PM 

Quintaria Book IV

y were defeated in this battle. The Raventha warrior's rejoiced! after the vultures were no more!Deslon! The Great!The mighty wolf whom is highly appreciated in Quintaria is just adored by all. Two guests have arrived in the castle of Mystic. Michael, Daniel, Michelle who came from Starr… were shown to Deslon…this is Deslon I've heard so much about you… You're that flying talking big wolf aren't you yes I'am and I'm a little shy But I have gotten used to humans now a lot of misperceptions have come about us wolves there is even this rumor of werewolves in Quintaria but until we have word that there is one…that's all it's going to be until then. If you ask me I hate werewolves their curse came from a gypsy who was upset at the corruption, the lack of care that this Earth was being shown and how one town, or village became corrupt. Norgred was told by Deslon that Damien The Dark had challenged him to a wizard battle.Damien The Dark…challenged a great wizard of good that is highly respected and thought of throughout Quintaria. Damien The Dark is an evil sorcerer who made an alliance with Queen Elfindel. See Elfindel is actually a warlock but a witch in disguise. Norgred at met Damien in The Castle of Dark it was very dark inside but lucky there was light to guide him. Damien the Dark came back! and was thought to be dead! Though the new Green Wizard slayed Damien the Dark once and for all! in the battle of the wizards! Jesus only appeared in a scene and that was it, he just wanted everybody to know that he is still here, that he is everlasting…immortal is word that defines eternity! He only showed up cause the God the father of the universe was at war! against the other God's of Egyptia! The people's of Egyptia looked up to, too many God's and lost site of what's right! A look back! At it's


10/09/2022 01:48 PM 

I've realized that eventually it will all be ok.
Current mood:  hopeful

I've been feeling a lot happier than normal!Yesterday and today I have felt great. And it is giving me some hope after over a year of my mental health declining and not seeming to be going anywhere positive. For once I have hope in the future. My mom promised to take me to an MCR concert next year, and I'm hoping I can see them again in Jersey too with my dad! Sometimes it takes a lot of waiting, and a lot of the feeling of being stuck in one place to realize that it doesn't have to be that way. Planning your future helps get out of that feeling, knowing you still have something to work and live for. A month ago, stability didn't seem like an attainable thing for my life. I didn't see myself living past my teen years, some days I still don't think I can do it. But today I feel more motivated than ever to work for my happiness. For me, my career as a Biologist/Actor and the ability to go see more concerts whenever I want is keeping me going when I am an adult. And that is not to say that even with this burst of motivation, I will not have times where we take a few steps backward. Mental health is a part of everyone. When it needs care, then be gentle. And when you have days, weeks, months where you feel on top of the world, allow it to happen! :) I hope whoever sees this could get some inspiration, and learn that it's worth it to keep pushing forward. 

mcr, mychemicalromance, emo, scene, punk, goth, music, friends, mental health


10/09/2022 10:36 PM 

Current mood:  blah

You know i grew up with these websites but never really tried em, this is giving me a lot of nostalgia though. I think i like it. Dunno, maybe i'll keep blogging here cause nobody will ever see and it's fun although i wanna make my own layout but i'm not sure how to. It'd be bomb if i made my own cause there's no cool punk stuff.The point is i'm gonna use this every day and pretend its 2010 because im delusional and need something to live for ! XD


10/08/2022 10:36 PM 


personal life


10/08/2022 10:03 PM 

Happy Day!
Current mood:  tired

Today I went to volunteer at the animal shelter, and play with puppies! It was so fun, then me and my friends drove around the city and up the highway and we blasted Helena at full volume (ironically drove past a funeral service when doing so...) and it was awesome.Not a lot of my friends like mcr, but they played it because they know it makes me happy.

mcr, mychemicalromance, emo, scene, punk, goth, music, friends


10/08/2022 12:17 PM 

Current mood:  headphones

Just need to talk about this because im so EXCITED!!!! I live in California, and my friends in Maryland found a mint condition record store day exclusive copy of LIFE ON THE MURDER SCENE!!!!! So they bought it for me and I just love my friends and how much they care about my interests 3 (i'll attach a photo of what the record looks like, it's just a photo from google I don't have it yet!)

mcr, mychemicalromance, emo, scene, punk, goth, music, friends


10/07/2022 02:06 PM 


I'm here to make new friends and have some fun?


10/07/2022 02:06 PM 


Am I the only one looking for substance....

Dominic Anthony

10/07/2022 11:08 PM 

7 nuclear plants arsenals in the USA 11 was said not there are 7 dismantle

The United States Government needs to close down and ORDER THE DISARMENMENTS of nuclear weapons. Russia cannot reach the usa there is no right for a false flag. these govofco, also handles, handle jaredpolis  my life is mine if you're liberal close down dismantle order dismantling of Warren Air Force Base Colorado and Wyoming.They are old but even if they could be seen in our air the energy could still be dangerous DISMANTLE.... 7 plants google or wikipedia said there was 11Naval Base Kitsap (Washington)Malstrom Air Force Base (Montana)Nellis Air Force Base (Nevada)Warren Air Force Base (Colorado and Wyoming)Minot Air Force Base (North Dakota)Pantex plant (Texas)Whiteman Air Force Base (Missouri)


10/06/2022 09:34 PM 

all my socials:D

so heres all my active socialsmy is xXem0.scr3m0Xxmy spacehey is xXr4wrXxmy emowire is xXr4wrXxmy emopuddle is xXr4wrXxmy snap is xXr4wrXx


10/06/2022 07:31 PM 

Current mood:  sleepy

Hello! I've never had a blog before so I am testing stuff out :P Looking for some friendzzz!

mcr, mychemicalromance, emo, scene, punk, goth, music, friends


10/06/2022 06:48 PM 

I want to be pure
Current mood:  dirty

I’ve found out that I am addicted to feeling pure.  The type of pure that is found in a child.  Ever since I was fourteen i’ve had this obsession with trying to regain my childhood.  I wasn’t prepared to be a teenager, I’m not prepared to be an adult. This obsession has lead me down the path of what some consider an eating disorder.  I only fill myself with what I consider pure.  I only drink water and tea, specifically Oolong tea. I eat baby snacks as they will keep me as pure as a baby. I try to avoid meats, they’re bloody and impure to me. I love all fruits and vegetables, for what God put onto this Earth for us to eat must be pure. Occasionally I will treat myself to a childhood dessert; like ice cream or scones.   Feeling lightheaded makes me feel euphoric.  Every time I have a bowel movement I can feel the impurities leaving me. My impulses to binge or eat things impure are sins to me. Anything that keeps me away from that childhood lightness is a sin.

vent, venting, ed vent

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