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ive been having weird ass dreams lately n im honestly too scared to look up what they mean lol

i always defend you but what for?yeah you show how much you really love me the way you never make time for megood to know how little i mean to you.you have made me feel like an outsider in the place i was supposed to feel the safestmy face is pressed up against the glass because you've locked the door againno one is home and i don't remember the last time it wasn't vacantwhen you speak to me once a week is that supposed to make me feel cared for?i feel more comfortable telling my secrets to strangers.what the  ̶f̶uck happened to you?your heart is an empty room. abby, i guess

fun fact: ive been dying my hair since i was 12 and i still have all ma hair! dont let ppl tell u it will fall out, cuz it wont theyre jus dumb 

DAY 9 - Tell us about your day in detail.Well, I woke up and checked my email to see if my offer on eBay had been accepted, turned out it had so I went downstairs to make the payment and ended up spending half of my furlough payment the day I got it lolThen I went upstairs and cleaned my room a little bit, I spent most of the day watching YouTube but I called my friend Abbie for a while and she finally beat me at Words With Friends after a long winning streak on my end xDI made an egg butty for lunch and it wasn't as good as I was expecting, I still feel a bit sick from that..And now I'm here typing this bc I forgot to do it lol

DAY 8 - Bands/artists you have seen live.I've been to a lot of gigs, so I'll try and streamline the list by doing the ones that stuck out the most.FIRST GIG - SayWeCanFly back in February of 2016. I remember how excited I was, and how happy I was afterwards. He was actually the first  person I came out to, which is cool :DLAST GIG - My most recent one was my mates' band's gig in December, headlined by Bleed Again. I don't really remember much of that night.BEST GIG - either Mastodon in 2019 or the Sleeping With Sirens/Rise Against joint tour in 2017. Both amazing nights, although I got absolutely yeeted in the SWS pit and nearly broke my knee.. I was on crutches for a week and this guy who bullied me took them from me and hit me in the face with one xD fun timesWORST GIG - every time I got forced to see Waterparks with my old friend group. I hate them passionately. Worst one has to be when they supported All Time Low, I lost my glasses and had a horrific panic attack lolBAND SEEN THE MOST - Parting Gift, they're incredible live. I love them. Also, Carcer City (RIP), Attila (f*** Fronz), Waterparks (WHY), and CreeperBEST PIT - Either Attila (I've never not been injured in an Attila pit), Bring Me The Horizon (in 2016 while they were still kinda good), or Still Remains. I saw them in a tiny venue in Bournemouth, and it was completely sold out. I got elbowed in the stomach, yeeted right across the pit into the wall, and passed out. It meant I missed the rest of the show, but I told the frontman CJ what happened and he was like "dude that is so f***in' metal" and I was like thanks xDI've been to a lot more gigs than this but these are some of my favourite gig stories so here you go 

DAY 7 - Post your favourite movie, TV show, band, and food.This info is all on my profile anyway so you could have just stalked me for this info xDFAV MOVIEHas to be either Sister Act, Warm Bodies or Thoroughly Modern Millie. I do love my musicals lolAlso I like Twilight don't bully meFAV TV SHOWInvader Zim!!! I also like Skins and stuff like that, and all the daytime TV like Bargain Hunt and Homes Under The Hammer. I'm rly into interior design and architecture so I love Grand Designs lolFAV BANDAghhh this is always so hard for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeI'd say that currently my favourite band is Chiodos or Asking Alexandria, but it changes every week pretty much lolFAV FOODTACO BELL!!! TACO BELL FRIES!!! TACO SUPREME!!!! QUESADILLA!!!! NACHOS!!!!! I LIVE FOR TACO BELL!!!!!

I am a clutz, that is the short and bittersweet way of saying it. I think most people can agree with me that everyone gets injuries, unless you are like I don’t know, some other worldly being. I got the usual scraped knee, bruised cheek, but I also got a lot of weird things, like a rock thrown on my head, ramming into a tree-funny story actually, falling from a ladder, twice, falling from a tree, and getting my finger smacked by a mouse trap.  I have a lot to talk about here, so let’s get right into it by talking about the rock. I was about maybe 8-10 years old when this happened. I remember that me and my siblings were playing and were throwing pinecones at each other, things you do when you are in the woods with no wifi. So I don’t know how or why, but my youngest brother picks up a rock, no, not a small rock the size of a baseball,l but a rock maybe the size of a small pot. This is very hard to do since we are 5 years apart in age. So, like I said I don’t know how he did this. I was sitting on the ground at the time, so I had to stand up when he DROPPED IT ON MY HEAD!! I remember feeling queasy and tired. I somehow walked inside our trailer and the next thing I remember I was in the shower cleaning off the blood. I had a scab for the whole summer.  So, ramming into a tree. Maybe not the brightest decision in my life. It still makes me laugh, even as I’m writing this I can’t stop laughing. At the time I was on my bike. And this is like maybe a year after the rock incident. So our driveway is super steep! You have to do a sharp 90 degree turn, or else you run into a ditch in front of a tree. You guessed it, I ran into that tree. So I was on my bike, about to turn, when I noticed I wouldn’t turn in time, so instead of doing the smart thing of pushing on the brakes, I decided that I was going to put my feet down. Well I did not get the trajectory correct and missed the ground, so I stepped on the pedal and made it go faster. So yeah, I ran into the ditch and hit the tree. Maybe I should really think before I act.  So you’d think that after the tree thing, I would think more, but no. In this story I don’t remember what age I was, I know I was still young. So this was when we had a jungle gym. I liked to go on the swings, and there are two swings with a swingin bar in the middle. I was too short to sit on the bar, so you know what I did, I got a bucket to stand on. Like any normal person would. So I was standing on the bucket, when it slid out from under me. I ended up scrapping both knee caps. They were all bloody and it hurt a lot.  So I actually fell from a ladder TWICE! They were both on the same ladder too. The first time was when I was little and the other time was recent. So the first time I was climbing the ladder, and this ladder is like one of those lean ladders, you know the kind that only have one side and you have to lean them against something. So this ladder was the only way to get up to my room. I was climbing it for the first time and didn’t even realise that the ladder started to lean backwards, so I fell without even realising what was going on until I was on the ground. The second time was when I was putting things in my room and these were heavy boxes, but I told everyone I was going to do it. I got all the boxes up with no difficulty, but when I was going down the ladder started to do the same thing as the first time. This time I was aware of what was going on, so I tried to grab the floor of my room, but it was too slick, and on the ground I was. On the way I hit a table and my arm felt super tingly. I will never forget that. You know the weird thing is that I did not break anything. Okay, so falling from a tree wasn’t that bad but I ALMOST fell from a higher tree. We were climbing a tree, because why not, and there was this super big tree, we decided to climb it and at the top, I lost my balance and started to fall towards the ground. Now I’m not sure if I would have died falling that far or not, but it sure seemed that way from where I was. I quickly grabbed a branch and stabilized myself. I got down and never climbed that tree again, Just kidding I climbed it three more times, not falling once.The tree that I actually fell off was a sort of small tree, maybe only 10 feet off the ground. I was, again, at the top and again I slipped. I fell to the ground on a pile of dead leaves, and was okay. Nothing broken, just a bruise on my waist the size of three baseballs. The mousetrap accident was only about a year or two ago, so I still have the mark. I was feeding goats. And we keep their food in a shed, where there are a lot of rats and mice. They like to eat the food, so we put the high power traps, you know the type that can cut a rats head off. So I had to move a trap on top of the food container, you know how this is going to go, I touched the trigger and it snapped on my finger. The weird thing is that there was no blood, no broken bone, just a bump, that still won’t go away.  I know I didn’t mention this earlier, but writing this reminded me of this, just  at the beginning of the school year, September 2019, I was playing flag football and a kid that really annoyed me had the ball, I ran up and was going to get his flag, when he lowered his arm and elbowed me right in the eye. I had a black eye for the first whole week of school. In high school they take school pictures on the first Friday, so on that day I just put the hair in my face to cover the bruise. I still have the photo.  So that was all of my important, or major injuries. I have never broken a bone, and I think that is kind of strange. What are some funny or memorable injuries that you’ve gotten? Please let my know!    

DAY 6 - Tell us about your pets, the ones you've had and lost.So I have had a lot of pets!Currently I have 4 cats named Lindt, Bounty, Sherbert and Dip Dab, and a fish called Podge. My dad has a lot of fish but Podge is my baby ♥Lindt is a lovely ginger boy, he's 11 this year and I adore him. He purrs very loudly and gets ginger fur EVERYWHEREHis sister Bounty is the only girl we have, she's got scoliosis so her tail is curly and she walks a bit funny but we love her all the same. She's very affectionate and always looking for attention, she loves my dad to bitsSherbert is our youngest, he's 4 this year and he is part Siamese so he's very long, skinny, and LOUD. He likes sitting in our bathtub and screamingThis is Dip Dab, the chungus of the family. He is MASSIVE and spends most of his time eating, sleeping, and chasing after bees in our garden. He's a bit thick and doesn't really know how to play wth balls and things, but he's precious anywayThis is Podge! He's a pleco, he's massive and I love himThis is my precious baby Twix. He was my best friend ever, but he sadly passed in June 2016 of bone cancer. I never really got a chance to say goodbye to him, he was fine one week and gone the next. I miss him every day.

rlllly need 2 get this hw done but im soo bored  i just wanna do 2 the beach but everythings closed

1. Last beverage: just water2. Last phone call: my friend chris3. Last song you listened to: currently listening to the quiet things that no one ever knows by brand new4. Last time you cried: umm i honestly dont know maybe when i got released from the hospital haha5. Have you dated someone twice: ive barely ever dated anyone once let alone twice6. Have you ever been cheated on: nope7. Kissed someone & regretted it: never kissed anyone8. Have you lost someone special: of course9. What are your three favorite colors: midnight, shadow, and ebony10. Met someone who changed you in the past month: ive barely gone outside!11. Kissed anyone on your friends list: no haha ive never met any of you12. How many kids do you want: uh probably none13. Do you want any pets?: many cats14. Do you want to change your name: ive changed it already socially, i suppose it would be nice to do it legally15. What did you do for your last birthday: cuddled with my friend adrian16. What time did you wake up today: like 12:3017. Name something you CANNOT wait for: this semester to be over18. Last time you saw your mother: like 10 minutes ago19. Most visited webpage: probably tumblr20. Nicknames: cyr or eli21. Relationship status: taken22. Zodiac sign: pisces23. Male or female: nope!24. Height: 5'4"25. Do you have a crush on someone: my boyfriend... haha26. Piercings: my right earlobe. thats it. used to have my nostril done though haha27. Tattoos: none, but a fun fact is that my friends and i were gonna do stick n pokes last time we hung out but we got too high and decided it was a bad idea. :p28. Strong or Weak: weak as sh*tFIRSTS29. First surgery: none30. First best friend: my old neighbor valerie31. First sport you joined: none, haha32. First vacation: first one i remember was going to yellowstone33. First school: south daytona elementary34. First pair of trainers: the ones that stick out in my mind are the glittery pink converse i had in about second grade, though im sure i had some before thatWHICH IS BETTER35. Lips or eyes: hmm, probably lips, but it depends on the person36. Hugs or kisses: never been kissed so hugs37. Shorter or taller: i dont really have a height preference (ive liked a guy who was 5'5 and one who was like 6'2 haha) but taller is usually a plus, and im really short, so... taller38. Older or younger: older but not by too much39. Romantic or spontaneous: spontaneous IS romantic40. Sensitive or loud: sensitive41. Hook-up or relationship: relationship. i dont think id ever have a hook-up42. Shy or outgoing: i like shy people but ya gotta be more outgoing than me so you can order my food for meHAVE YOU EVER43. Kissed a stranger: no44. Gotten a speeding ticket: never even driven on a real road45. Lost glasses/contacts: i usually lose them every single day for at least 10 minutes but ive never fully lost them46. Sex on first date: no47. Broken someone's heart: yeahhh48. Been arrested: no lol49. Have you turned someone down: mhm50. Fallen for a friend: yup. always a mistake51. Moved out of town: no but i will soonBELIEVE IN52. Miracles: no53. Love at first sight: no, but you can 'click' with some people54. Heaven: i hope55. Santa Claus: i wish56. Kiss on the first date: dunno, i probably wouldnt, but im sort of a prude until you know me well i guess57. Angels: metaphorically58. Yourself: only once ive taken my medsANSWER TRUTHFULLY59. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: never will60. Been in love with someone you couldn't be with?: yes61. Ever cheated on somebody: never will x262. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: id like to have been born, like, 1986-1990 or something, i guess. but just for a visit id probably go to a bunch of concerts between the years of 1970 and 2015 haha63. Are you afraid of falling in love: yes64. Was your last relationship a mistake: honestly i dont even count anything ive been involved in as relationships. but no matter which it is, yes65. Do you miss your last relationship?: nope66. Who did you last say “i love you” to?: kmart67. Have you ever been depressed?: diagnosed baby68. Are you insecure?: of course69. How do you want to die?: not at all70. Do you bite your nails?: no, my lips71. When was your last physical fight?: never72. Do you have an attitude?: i dont think so73. Twirl or cut your spaghetti?: twirl it74. Do you tan a lot?: i mean i dont do it on purpose as in laying out in the sun but if i spend time outside i get tan, yeah, and i think i look nice tan75. Ever eaten food in a car while somene or you are driving?: err yeah76. Ever made out in a bathroom?: no77. Would you take any of your exes back?: no78. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?: depends on what that implies, like for a visit or to redo things79. What are your plans for this weekend?: play animal crossing80. Do you type fast?: yes81. Can you spell well?: yes82. What are you craving right now?: hugs83. Have you ever been on a horse?: yes, theyre f***ing scary84. Would you live with someone without marrying them?: i live with my mom dont i?85. What’s irritating you right now?: sitting for too long makes your butt hurt86. Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts?: yes87. Does somebody love you?: i hope so88. Have you ever changed clothes in a car?: kinda fun story, ive changed in multiple ubers on the way to shows from school dances or band performances89. Milk chocolate or white chocolate?: dark lol90. Do you have trust issues?: heavy yes91. Longest relationship?: "6 months"92. Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you?: no, the last person i officially "dated" was 4 years ago93. Have you ever walked outside in your PJs?: i did it today94. Do you believe everything happens for a reason?: no.95. Did you have dream last night?: yes96. Have you ever been out of state?: yes97. Do you play the Wii?: no98. Do you like Chinese food?: more of a thai fan myself99. Are you afraid of the dark?: not really100. Is cheating ever okay?: nope101. What year has been your best?: theyve all been pretty grim102. Do you believe in true love?: i mean, yes, but it can never be perfect103. Favorite weather?: not too hot not too cold not too windy ya know, or cool rain104. Do you like the snow?: it doesnt snow where i live so i like it when i travel and see it105. Do you like the outside?: yes106. Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?: it drives me insane (in a good way)107. Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight?: no108. What makes you happy?: my dog109. Ever been to Alaska?: no110. Ever been to Hawaii?: no111. Do you watch the news?: not anymore112. Do you love MTV?: no113. Do you like subway?: its fine114. Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?: again, never kissed anyone115. Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?: ugh sex and gender is so overrated. if my best friend liked me id say lets get married at age 30 if were both single116. Why did you decide to do this quiz?: i like reminding everyone that im a kissless virgin117. Have you ever seen someone you knew and purposely avoided them?: of course118. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?: yeah, im not a weirdo119. Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?: f*** off im trans120. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?: kmart121. Ever bought condoms?: no122. Ever gotten pregnant?: only in my nightmares123. Have you ever slipped on ice?: no124. Have you ever missed the bus?: yes, when i rode the bus in middle school, but it was usually on purpose125. Have you left the house without money?: i usually do, im broke126. Have you ever smoked cigarettes?: yes127. Have you ever smoked a cigar?: no128. Did you ever drink alcohol?: yes but im not a fan129. Did you ever watch “The Breakfast Club”?: of course130. Have you ever been overweight?: yes131. Ever been to a wedding?: a few132. Ever been in a wedding?: as a flower girl or ringbearer yes133. Have you ever been on the computer for 5 hours straight?: most days134. Did you ever watch TV for 5 hours straight?: i mean, probably at some point, but im not a big fan of tv135. Ever kissed in the rain?: no136. Did you ever shower with someone else?: my mom when i was a kid i guess haha137. Did you ever fail a driver’s test?: no, and ive never passed one either138. Ever been outside your home country?: yes139. Ever been on a road trip longer than 5 hours?: yes140. Ever been to a professional sports game?: yes141. Have you ever broken a bone?: four or five in my foot142. Did you ever win a trophy in your life?: no143. Ever get engaged?: no144. Have you ever been on a diet?: lol.145. Have you ever been on TV?: not as far as i know... haha146. Ever ridden in a taxi?: yes147. Ever been to prom?: no, wasnt planning to, and now i certainly never will148. Ever stayed up for 24 hours or more?: 38 or so is my record i think149. Have you ever been to a concert?: yup, plenty150. Have you ever had a crush on someone at work?: ive never had a job because im too shy151. Have you ever been in a car accident?: not a serious one152. Ever had braces?: too poor for dental care153. Did you ever learn another language?: sí, entiendo español al nivel de un estudiante jaja... estaba en clases por cuatro años y recibí la nota más alta en mi examen154. Do you wear make-up?: just eyeliner, maybe some eyeshadow or lipgloss if im feeling crazy155. Did you ever have your wisdom teeth taken out?: no156. Did you ever kiss someone a different race than yourself?: no157. Ever dyed your hair?: yes158. Did you ever wear someone else’s clothes?: i dont think so but im not positive159. Ever ridden in an ambulance?: no160. Ever ridden in a helicopter?: no161. Ever caught the stove on fire?: no...162. Ever meet someone famous?: ive talked to some cool musicians online thats about it haha163. Ever been on an airplane?: yes164. Ever been on a boat?: yes165. Ever broken something expensive?: yes166. Did you ever kiss someone before you were 14?: no167. Did you ever find something valuable on the ground?: probably a $20 or somethingthat took a while

writing a song, hopefully it will see the light of day!

Idk how active I'll be here, but I am here lol. It's nice to have an old school type social media website :)

ULTIMATE SCENE/EMO ASK GAME (´• ω •`)ﾉ 。.:☆*:･' ☆*:.｡. ⊂(･ω･*⊂)   1. Are you more Scene or Emo?:emo 4 sure 2. Were you ever into Never Shout Never?not really 3. Fringes or Coontails?tough 1... i guess fringes? 4. Bright and colourful hair, or dark black hair?i love all hair colors, but on myself dark black hair 5. Gloomy bear or Hello Kitty?hello kitty ♥ 6. How often do you shop at a HotTopic?as often as possible 7. How many band posters do you have up?surprisingly only 3, but my wall is covered in other stuff i dont think i could fit more 8. Have you watched Invader Zim? If so, who’s your favourite character?yes, Gaz 9. Opinion on Gerard Way?i love him ♥ 10. Waffles or Tacos?tacos 10000000% 11. Have you played Gaia?nope 12. Dear Maria or Check Yes Juliet?dear maria 13. Do you drink Monster?sometimes but not that much 14. Have you had a scene phase before?fashion wise, yes. the music and fashion kinda overlaps with emo tho 15. Do you make Kandi?nope, occasionally the letter bead ones tho 16. Do you wear a lot of Kandi?not really but i might start 17. Do you have a Blingee account? And/or make Blingees?no but i luv them 18. Are you a furry? If so, what’s your fursona like?no, but if i was itd be a cat or a rat or something 19. Do you listen to BVB, AA, or BMTH?bvb, bmth, but not really AA 20. Do you have Funko Pops?no 21. Do you watch Anime?yesss 22. Do you play Animal Jam?is that even around anymore? i used to 23. Are you okay?im not okay!!! *transforms into Gerard* 24. Are you Lol Xd Randum??XD mybe a bit, arent we all? 25. Opinion on Nyan Cat?no opinion really  26. Big hair or big accessories?hair def 27. Did you ever have a MySpace? Do you still?ya i still do, same name as this xxCarolineCatastrophexx 28. Want any emo/scene tattoos?yes! i have a few i wanna get 29. Have any emo/scene tattoos?no T^T 30. Do you like Furbies?luv them!!!! 31. xD, Xd or XD?XD but xD is cute 2 32. Do you like Care Bears?yes! 33. Is Avril Lavigne a clone?no clue but if she is, shes a pretty clone 34. Do you want fangs?ya! i definetly do 35. Does emo/scenecore make you happy?yes! we need more emo/scenecore stuff in 2020 36. Have you dyed your hair? If so, what colours and how long ago?a month ago it was purple but i didnt like it so i switched it to my current light brown color. im gonna switch back 2 black 37. Do you want/have any piercings?i had a couple nose peircings but i always leave them out and then they close up. im gonna get more when this quarentine ends tho.  38. Do you wish you were in a band?not really, id rather just listen 39. What Warrior Cats clan are you in?shadow clan 40. Is Gir annoying?VERRY 100000% SO ANNOYING, hes my least fav charachter 41. Have you ever played Imvu?yup 42. Are you a Killjoy or a Youngblood?killjoy 43. Do you have any emo/scene friends irl?nope T^T i need some 44. Who’s your favourite scene/emo blog?no favorites, just stuff on tumblr mostly 45. Do you wear Converse?yup 46. Does “Rawr” mean “I love you” in Dinosaur?yes >///< 47. Favourite Pokemon?idk 48. Do you like Decora fashion?its cute 49. Do you like Sparkle Dogs?no idea 50. Show us the most emo/scene picture of you!probably something in one of my albums

Shank's Survey for Alternative People ♥▪︎what subculture/s are you a part of? (punk, goth, emo, scene, etc.)▪︎when/how did you get involved in the community?▪︎who are your favorite musicians?▪︎do you play any instruments?▪︎what piercings do you have/want?▪︎what tattoos do you have/want?▪︎what colors have you dyed your hair?▪︎what is your favorite article of clothing?▪︎are your family/friends a part of the community?▪︎what are some common stereotypes about your community that you disagree with?▪︎do you feel like you're part of a safe and inclusive community?▪︎do you feel accepted within your community?▪︎do you have any unpopular or controversial opinions about your community?▪︎would you date someone who isn't a part of your community?▪︎what's your favorite thing about the community?▪︎what's your least favorite thing about the community?▪︎is there anything else you'd like people to know about your subculture/s?feel free to comment your answers or make a separate bulletin post! just credit me i guess lol

i had a myspace when i was um . wayyyy too young 2 be using myspace but other than that i haven't made a social media page on a Website so . took me a full listen through viva la cobra! to figure out how the f*** to get a cool layout also oh my GOD most of the layouts on here r so ugly.... but also i got the CDs i ordered from amoeba records in the mail today which absolutely made my day bc nothing is more fun than the first listen of a new CD or vinyl :) no one is reading dis bc i just joined but this is fun its making me nostalgic for something i never experienced. a lot of things do that for me. im gonna shut up nowxo red