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i don't know

06/12/2022 09:52 AM 

tw: yelling, screaming, domestic yelling and screaming, age difference
Current mood:  talkative

like, i never thought that it was a big deal, really, but today i remembered one thing. when i was eleven dating fifteen y.o (via internet) i had no idea how to help her out with words, when she was feeling down, angry, etc. so i remember saying to her that whanever she was feeling angry she could take it out on me. i wanted her to degrade me, to yell at me so she could feel better. i didn't know how to manage her emotions by other means. bless her for never using this offer. my mother used to yell at me. her mother used to yell at her.


06/12/2022 12:37 AM 

how did i get here
Current mood:  quiet

some part me wants to keep this time capsule untouched. i haven't really looked at this website since the intial lockdown like most people. i remember writing most of the entries probably because there are so few in such a bizarre time. the initial nostalgia shininess of this has worn off. that's why it's a virtual ghost town, but even the idea of a myspace revival doesn't excite me as much as it used to anymore. lorde did say "all the music you loved at sixteen you'll grow out of" and i did. i loved it when i was 12 and then again when i was 16 and then maybe i'll fall in love with it again when i'm 23. i know i'm not really old yet. not really. it doesn't stop me from wishing i could go back in time to when i wrote these older blog posts. people are right about me. i'm too caught up in my own head. i've gotten so lost in surviving just day to day that it feels ridiculous. it feels like i'm missing a time and version of myself that still exists, but really two years have somehow passed without me noticing

annika apocalypse

06/12/2022 03:09 AM 

more selfies
Current mood:  distressed

bcuzzz im trying to convince myself to cut a fringe again even tho i know i cant cuz ballet buns x_x

scene, cringe, scene kid, emo, scemo, selfie, stickers, mcr, my chemical romance, edit

annika apocalypse

06/12/2022 01:42 AM 

tested out fringe XD
Current mood:  crunk

my fringe is sooo long grown out its just a middle part now but i tested out how itd look... i look rlly silly XDD

scene, cringe, scene kid, emo, scemo, selfie, gloomy bear, gir, mcr, my chemical romance, edit


06/10/2022 06:22 PM 

Running errands
Current mood:  bouncy

I went out in town...crazy day. I spent so much on Uber rides geez, i shoould consider getting a monthly bus pass.Got a haircut and blowout, even bought a few mangas and books.I also got to hangout with my bestie. Although i think mcdonald snacks got me sick like ewww. probably shouldve bought some takis can't go wrong with takis.Even had the chance to try out the starbucks dragonfruit lemonade, I've been hearing so much about 10/10 mhmm  

fun, hangout, mcdonalds,


06/10/2022 08:14 PM 

Guitar Mission [Face 4]
Current mood:  electric

Now i know how to play the guitar very well and i write some song to play :D



06/10/2022 07:16 AM 

Luv Letter #0
Current mood:  amorous

He is my bloodJust as I need it to functionI crave the moment of inviting silence that follows him as he treads the same dirt as IHow I wish to crumble and be the grime stuck under your nailsThe muck you pick away at, truly leaving my mark     Forever staining, forever waiting Forever, with you  



06/10/2022 02:10 AM 

Stuff stuck in my head
Current mood:  tired

K something super annoying about having OCD is that you often obsess over certain things. Like, if you have a crush on someone, you think about them over and over and OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN ALLLLLL THE TIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYou know what I mean?And then you get thinking and you're asking yourself, "Do they like me back?" and then you find yourself considering telling the person you like them and then you keep thinking about them again, but this time your thoughts are about the certain outcomes of letting them know how you feel. Once you tell them, the ball's in their court and you might not get a clear answer or not and then you end up thinking abou them again, but this time it's MUCH, MUCH worse because now instead of thinking about them sometimes, you're thinking about them ALL THE TIME and it's taking a hugeeeeeeeeeeeee toll on your mental health. After a while and you still haven't gotten an answer, your feelings start fading until finally, they disappear completely and then you're thinking to yourself, "What did I ever find so attractive about the person?" and "Is it weird that I don't want anyone now?" And then there's songs. There was this one song that was stuck in my head all of Tuesday night before falling asleep and when I woke up, IT WAS STILL STUCK IN MY HEAD!!! What really sucked about having that one song stuck in my head is that it was a song that I really loved and in case you're wondering what song it was, it's called, "When I get home, you're so dead" by Mayday Parade. Thankfully though, the lyrics no longer flooded my brain that day and they haven't come back since and although a couple of minutes ago I had a differen't song in my head, writing this blog certainly helped lessen the thoughts of the song and decrease the nausea I've been feeling since yesterday. But anyways, I was thinking, should I do a song of day, maybe song of the week? I saw someone else do it on here and I thought it'd be fun. Let me know what you think in the comments below and if you relate to anything that I have said here. Thank you and have a great night :))

OCD, thoughts, obsessions, music, ringworm, thinking,


06/09/2022 08:12 PM 

vtuber ships O_O
Current mood:  silly

yeaa no 1 is gonna care but idc if u dont care so lolz  Not in any order!!! Let's start with a few common ships first:1) Ikeakuma/Voxike -- Vox Akuma x Ike Evelandik Ike wants nothing 2 do w Vox but I still find it super cute 2) Sonnyban -- Sonny Brisko x Alban Knoxngl theyre so all over each other so often that how can u not ship?3) Shuca/Lucashu -- Luca Kaneshiro x Shu Yaminobromies....... bromance.......... so bromo  Uncommon/crack/cross ship time hehe:4) Evanshiro -- Oliver Evans x Luca KaneshiroWOAH thats one heck of a cross ship! i wrote a whole au about them both but i wont go into it rn lel5) Rebohan -- Reza Avanluna x Bonnivier Pranaja x Hana MacchiaWOAHH 3 people? this ones a pretty old/dead ship but idc 6) Oliver Evans + Suha Min + Amicia Michella x Taka RadjimanWOAHHH 4 people??? basically Oliver, Suha and Cia r all over Taka xD poor guy7) Akuuki -- Vox Akuma x Uki Violetatry putting 2 flirty h0rny dudes in a room together...... yea u know what happens next xD8) Dragon Jockey -- Selen Tatsuki x Yugo Asumaholy crap a straight ship.... Yugo said he likes b!tches so WOWIE dats a lot of ships o_e not even I can keep up w them thx 4 reading x)

shipping, whatever


06/09/2022 09:15 PM 

Hi :))
Current mood:  tired

I honestly don't get what's so fun about blogging, but part of me wants to give it a try, so here goes, Hey there :)) Just a random question: Do you (YES YOU, THE PERSON READING THIS POST) ever find yourself thinking of certain songs whenever someone says certain phrases or words? Do songs ever pop into your head?Like, let's say you're friend mentions they're painting a masterpiece and then you start singing, "My only mine, entirely guilty by design" which is a line from a MT song. All of my fellow Trenchers out there know who MT are: THE GREATEST CANADIAN BAND OF ALL TIME, WHICH IS MARIANAS TRENCH. Why are they so great? Well, the lead singer, Josh grew up in a family of musicans. His mom was a vocal coach, and one of her clients was the lead singer of ACDC and what did his dad do? He ran a recording studio, so Josh grew up in a musical family. As Josh got older, he struggled with not one, but two different eating disorders, the first of which was Anorexia. Soon after that, he got Bullima and then he started taking Heroin. His addiction became so bad that his parents told him that he either go to rehab or he'd be kicked out of the house and what did he do? He went to rehab. When he was in rehab, he was asked to do an activity with circles and each circle represented things that were important to you. Music meant so much more to him than his addiction did. In fact, he ended up writing a love song about his addiction. The song ended up getting added to the band's second album, which is called Masterpiece Theatre. Fun fact about Marianas Trench: The band's original name was Ramsay Fiction, probably because two of the band members were part of the Ramsay family (Josh and his older sister, Sarah).  Another fun fact about the band is Josh and Matt went to school together and were in choir together too. How did Ian (drums) and Mike (bass) become part of the band? Well, an ad was placed in the Georgia Straight Newpaper and Josh found Ian. Ian had a room mate at the time, who was Mike and since they couldn't find anyone, they asked Mike and he said yes. So, BOOM!!! That's how Marianas Trench came to be. One final fact that I will share about Marianas Trench is how they continued working hard in the business even though they were a flop at the beginning. It wasn't until they released their first single, "Shake Tramp," which was recorded at Burnaby Village Museum that they became the super famous band they are today. Anywayyyyyyyyyys, back to what I was talking about earlier. Sorry about the spammming. I'm just a girl with ADHD, so sometimes I can talk about random stuff, but hey, don't we all end up talking about one thing before moving onto another topic a second later sometimes? I tend to sing different lines from songs if someone says a certain thing. Idk why. I just do. Maybe it's because I love music a latte (did you see what I did there? :P ) or maybe it's due to my ADHD. Whatever the reason, I am proud of who I am and what I do. Let me know if you relate to any of this. Thank you and have a great night :))

Marianas Trench, Trencher, MT, Hi, Music, random, Adhd,


06/08/2022 12:29 PM 

Kiss Shanigans 2004 Lie/Fib to the Nation Years and 2022 All Out Fakey Kiss Their concerts

U2 are they going to do a new album and will Kiss be made to enter the studio Gene Simmons hasn't paid off loansharks, debt collectors havent collected from witz simmons Record labels offer? singing bonusesAnthonydThe new drums have plug ins where you can lower the drums some bands want the bass guitar lowered more bands should have bassists has their leaderAnthonydKiss is NOT A HARD WORKING BAND syncing too much, backing tracks auto tune, wireless transmittors thats okay ear pieces for lyricsAnthonydTo KIss Gene Simmons Paul Stanley to Kiss management you could have done 11 NEW rock kiss albums instead of 11 kruises


06/08/2022 02:06 PM 

Small HTML lesson

stop putting slashes/inbetween/your/interests/pleaseuse <br> & <hr> to separate your interests. They have no ending/closing tag cuz they are special :)<BR> means line break. BReak. It separates your text.<hr> is the same & it adds a line unlike br hr is tHematic bReak.anything inbetween <p> </p> and other text tags is smushed together because thats the way the computer reads it. all one line, & thats why youre free to indent & format your code without it having an effect on your code.luv, auntie Strawbzy 


06/07/2022 08:25 PM 

nu metalin rn
Current mood:  rockin

i cant figure out how to add gifs to my page 


06/07/2022 02:16 PM 

Introduction into blogs
Current mood:  crazy

Hi!So i kinda decided that if i start doing blogs and stuff it would mostly be me talking abt stuff that i like and and thing rlly i would totes appreciate it if like someone game be like a topic and i do my research and i'll make a blog abt it!



06/07/2022 01:07 PM 

arisu garasu

alice glass is such a strong person and i admire her very muchi cant f***ing imagine what shes gone through and frankly i dont wanna knowi really like that she gets to be so personal with her music now, that she gets to be herself & doesnt have to hide anythingi look up to her aloti know i shouldnt idolize people anymore but after what ive been through yeah its valid f*** it 

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