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You know you're going at the right pace and in the right direction when more challenges hit you. It's like a video game or a book. To get to the end place you have to face demons and monsters. And sometimes you lose the fight but you keep at the battle. There are times where giving up just seems like the only option and it does get pretty scary but there will be a time even if it's for a day where I'll be happy and everything will feel good. Be confident when everyone brings you down. Talk when someones tries to force you into a silent fear. Keep your head up even when they push it down. Fake the confidents that you wish to have. Smile at those who are rude. Offer a hand to someone who needs it. Be what others are afraid of. Be kind. Be scary to those who don't understand.

Hey dudes, it's been a while since i've been constantly on here, but i've been thinking a lot about a lot of things lately.First off, school for me starts on september 5th. It's my last year of high school and I'm extremely excited, not only because i know it will be a blast, but I'm also excited in a nervous way. I need to retrieve credits so I can graduate, go to taekwondo 3-4 times a week to excuse my p.e. credits, learn how to drive, somehow get a job, stay up to date on my usual class assignments,and do as many high school activities as I can while I'm still there, I want to give myself the real stereotypical experience one last time.As excited as I am for school, there is a downside. I had an old friend in freshman and sophomore year who managed to tear all of me away from 2 of my best friends, tear them apart, then tear them away from her. She's an absolute friendship homewrecker. I've refriended one of my friends, but the other I could care less about because of the way she treated some of my other friends. She even said that she wanted to be friends with my other friend again but saw him hanging out with me and didnt want to anymore, it's funny. I dont hate her, but I wish the best for her and even for the friendship homewrecker. ANYWAYS, friendship homewrecker ended up going to a different school, but the schools are merging due to being unsuccessful. Friendship homewrecker is one if those girls who will come up to, bother, talk to, and say mean stuff to the face of someone she isnt friends with anymore because she feels no remorse for them at all, she puts herself on a high pedestal. I dont want to be around her, but I'll have to deal with it, hopefully I dont snap.On a lighter and happier note, i've been cleaning a lot and focusing on trying to redo my room! I'm going for minimalist yet decorativw alt/goth-y, my main concern is getting a vanity so I dont have to do my make up on the floor in harsh lighting anymore.  So yeah, there's my little blurb of what's on my mind. 

Dark summer night dark summer nightOh we search for redemption in three wordsAlways, always, always, redemption in three wordsI am sorryI love youI miss youDark summer nightHold me tight(Don't) let me go"I need a way away from those daysThey haunt my spirit(s) and make my wine bitterI can't afford jewels and they're hard to swallowAnd you, my good sir, are just as shallowAs the glimmer of a diamond in the dawn of dayAnd the hearts we left behind, confused by the daze"Dark summer nightDark summer nightTerrible a-plightDevoid of lightTake my mightBreak it rightLost my sightLost my fightDark summer night"I stand alone and the world is vastI stand alone and the shadows are longYou are no more and I miss your rustThe fight is so hard, I don't belong'm 'fraid a dark summer night won't suffice'fraid 'I love you' won't be the knightin shining armor to save my life"Fight for yourselfGet it togetherBelieve in yourselfGo fix yourselfBefore you fix othersSometimes all you need is to change the batteriesAnd it'll work again, work like a charmSo before saying "I love you",And it was the hardest thing they ever didThey learned to say "I love me"and I admire them for their deeds(but not all of us have that courageand not all of us are that strongand some of us think it's morally wrongto embrace such flaw)

Hiya~  I'm Venomness! I don't know what my blog will really be about, buuut, I can promise simple tutorials on how to edit your profile,where I get graphics,etc! Where: (These are secure sites! I may add more later.)https://www.glitter-graphics.com/ https://www.deviantart.com/How:1. Go to either site. for this example, I'll use Gittergraphics.com. 2. Pick a graphic. For this example, We'll use a Blinkie. (A small box with images or text. still, or can be a GIF.)Here's the Blinkie:3. Edit Mr. froggy's code: This will look confusing,but trust me.Go to this site:https://htmledit.squarefree.com/It will look like a plain site with two boxes:Erase any text in the blue box.Then, copy/paste Mr. Froggy's code from The glitter graphics website:Make sure it's the "MySpace" code. Copy into the HTML editor. It should now display the froggy! Next.view Mr. Froggy's code. all you need to do to remove the link underneath the graphic, is remove this part of the HTML code:This just kinda cleans up the code and makes it shorter. Make sure Mr. froggy still displays in the white box. Copy what code you now have.4. Okay. Now, you've picked your cute graphic! But to use it, you've got to go under "Edit Profile". It should look like this:When you get to the next screen, there should be boxes that say "Headline", "About me", "Like to meet", "Interests", "Music", "Movies", "TV", "Books", and "Heroes".It might look confusing, but this is super easy! Just Copy/paste your froggy into any box. (except "Headline". This will make it look weird.)It should look like this: (Yours might have different looking code,and be a different box.) Make sure your code is where you want it, and make 100% sure you click "Save Changes"!Now you're done! Make sure to view your profile to see if your froggy is there and where you want it to be. If not,you can always remove the froggy and put it somewhere else!Thank you for reading!

The trees sway, and all I can think of is where you are.These nights I can't sleep I picture you,In my embrace, in my arms, holding you close.The sound of crickets is deafening,When all you have to hear is the sound of the bustling world replaying in motion.The absence of your voice leaves me to lie awake tonight.These are the pieces of my heart layed out before you in your dreams.Staring at the ceiling to go blank becomes the only thing that gives me closure,These nighttime distances soak my thoughts in anguish.These summer midnights empty arms,Empty veinsI can't sleep without you.The night makes its way to ten, and I still think,Maybe overthink.Time is only taunting me,Every second.Keeping record of each hour,By the count it becomes three.Writing notes you can't even read,It's the only thing that gives me closure.Your lips are nowhere near me and I can't take it.These summer midnights, empty arms. Empty veins.I can't sleep without you.Yeah I can't breathe without you.These are the pieces of my heart,Among the trees, they belong to you.Amidst the blue sky in your dreams.In your dreams,In your dreams,In your dreams tonight.Closing my eyes to picture you,Smiling and laughing, it helps me to find closure on these summer midnights, with empty arms.Empty veins.I can't sleep without your voice.

So theres a boy who i used to like,it started in year 6 when he sat on my table for maths and i gave him a note saying: do you like me??> yes no maybe he checked no and gave it back to me.almost 3 years later and i still loved him; i would hold the door open for him and he would say "f*** off" there was even a time in RE where i started crying, thinking things like --- he would be happy if you were dead kill yourself for him but not all of my memories with him are depressing!for example, in year 6, our teacher was reading a book called "holes".and a quote was.... "he fell deep into the hole", "he was trying to get out of the dry hole".so we bonded over the fact that it sounded dirty as f*** xDwe have been getting better around each other as time goes on but i dont wanna be in a relationship with him anymore. i just wanna be his friend.

the fragile light hovers in and out sometimes.it's dark for most the day.we all just make the most of it,even though it's hard to stay.sometimes the night swallows people whole,stolen from their loversnothing left but a shattered soulto float to god knows where.all I wish is to become apart of the night,but it seems as though I'm immortal,and soon it'll give me a fright,but then I'll be okay.the night will save me from my misery.

in Literature the teacher showed us a video about "what if straights and gays were switched places in bigotry" and it was cool and all but the violence in it made me want to project into the universe and beat a hoard of twelvies up and then it had a super graphic depiction of suicide with like Actual Cut Projection with blood everywhere and stuff and watching it happen i lasted for like a minute after the film thing ended and then i cried for half an hourthe teacher asked me if i was okay with the course content and then basically left immediately before i could tell her it wasn't the homophobia it was the Graphic Depiction of Suicide miss i know it's predictable in the story but Please Warnalthough i didn't realise it'd affect me that much tbh. probably wouldn't have left anyway but maybe i wouldn't annoy my sitting partner by going "murder suicide murder suicide"

some days i feel like i want to do wipe away my tears, blood, and sweat from my facesob, gasp for airand hold up my white flag

When i go to supermarket cashier lady is same…sometimes i see president of supermarket beg just to me and cashier lady brings shopping basket just for me…I beg them back… i was getting mont blanc pudding with discounted price and cashier lady did additional discount for me everyday sameworker there remembering me I saved enough money to buy sports car…buying my house first… saving money going very quick…

unholyversethe anatomy of a fallnovember 1stthe science of sleep

Have you ever? by neutronsmoked a cigarette?: nosmoked a cigar?: nodone drugs?: yesdrank alcohol?: yesbeen in love?: yesbeen dumped?: yesshoplifted?: yesbeen fired?: nobeen in a fight?: yessnuck out of your house?: yesbeen arrested?: nomade out with a stranger?: nogone out on a blind date?: nolied to a friend?: yeshad a crush on a teacher?: yesskipped school?: yesslept with a co-worker?: noseen someone die?: nohad/have a crush on 1 of your myspace friends: nobeen to Canada?: home country babeyyyyyyy

100 useless facts about me:Do you usually sleep with your closet door open or closed?I don't have a closet :/Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotels?Nah. I don't sleep at hotels :sHave you ever 'done it' in a hotel room?Nope.Where is your next vacation?Maybe Germany. Have you ever stolen a street sign before?Uhh.. no.Who do you think reads these?Nobody?Do you have a calendar in your room?Nope, I have no track of time.Where are you?My room.What's your plan for the day?Take a nap.Are you reading any books right now?Fahrenheit 451Do you ever count your steps when you walk?Sometimes; but not for charting reasons.Have you ever peed in the woods?Maybe?Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing?Yup. Yay for awkward breakdancing.Do you chew your pens and pencils?No, I don't.What is your "Song of the Week"?lil peep - CrybabyIs it okay for guys to wear pink?Is it okay for girls to wear blue?Do you still watch cartoons?Yeah.Whats your favorite love movie?I don't know many.What do you drink with dinner?Yeah, water is pretty good.What do you dip Chicken Nuggets in?Nothing.What is your favorite food/cuisine?Pizza.What movies could you watch over and over and still love?I don't do movies.Last person you hugged/kissed?My ex.Were you ever a boy/girl scout?Kinda.Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?No.When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?Like two weeks agoCan you change the oil on a car?Yeah.Ever gotten a speeding ticket?No.Run out of gas?Nope.Favorite kind of sandwich?Cheese and pepperoni. Best thing to eat for breakfast?Cereal.What is your usual bedtime?4am.Are you lazy?No, I don't think so.When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?Vampires.Do you have any magazine subscriptions?No.Which are better, legos or lincoln logs?Lincoln logs.Are you stubborn?No.Who is better...Leno or Letterman?Neither.Ever watch soap operas?No, I don't watch TV.Afraid of heights?No.Sing in the car?No.Dance in the shower?Yup. I get crunk.Dance in the car?What?Ever used a gun?No.Do you think musicals are cheesy?No.Is Christmas stressful?I believe so.Ever eat a pierogi?No.Major annoyance right now?Myself.Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?An astronaght.Do you believe in ghosts?No.Ever have a deja-vu feeling?Yea, all the time.Do you take a vitamin daily?Nope.Wear slippers?Nope.Wear a bath robe?Nope.What do you wear to bed?Underwear, sometimes pyjamas.Wal-Mart, Target or K-Mart?Wal-Mart.Nike or Adidas?Nike.Cheetos Or Fritos?Cheetos.Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?Peanuts.Ever hear of, "gorp"?No?Ever taken karate?Yes.Ever kissed someone of the same sex? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)Can you curl your tongue?Yes.Ever won a spelling bee?No.Ever cried because you were so happy?Yes.Own any record albums?Yeah.Own a record player?Not at the moment.Regularly burn incense?No.Ever been in love?Yeah...Hot tea or cold tea:Hot tea.Tea or coffee?Tea.Favorite kind of cookie?Chocolate chip.Can you swim well?Yes.Can you hold your breath w/o manually holding your nose?Yes.Are you patient?YesEver won a contest?No.Ever had plastic surgery?No.Which are better black or green olives?Green.Can you knit or crochet?No.Wash room or bathroom?The can.Do you want to get married?Yes.Who was your High School crush?No-one.Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?No.Do you have kids?No.Do you want kids?No.What kind of mom are you?No.Do you miss anyone right now?Yes. Always.Who do you want to see right now?Lil Peep.

August 6, 2018    Yeah it's been a while since I updated this. That poem was from yesterday. I haven't been up to much, but I'm sure you expected that. I have a lot more poems to post. (Some of my best, in my opinion.)   Oh, and I got my schedule for the upcoming school year today. I'm nervous of course, but I really have...expectations for this year. Not many, I've come to expect less over time. 

OKAYSOYesterday I met the guy who I literally haven't shut up about on here (sorry guys) and it all went really well! WE KISSED!!!!!!!!!! I really really like him, I feel all happy inside :3 My parents are fine with him being the age he is and I'm hopefully seeing him again in a couple of weeks. We're just seeing where things go at the moment but I am just so happy ♥