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Dont expect me to forgive you so easily this time. You have given me sob story after sob story. You CONSTANTLY said "That person on stage is really how I am." but a few months after your apology, you: push me down, become overly critical of me, say you wish you never found me again, disown me, told me that I am the reason mom ended her life, BLAMED ME FOR YOUR RELAPSES, played favorites, stole, lied, and made promises to which you never fulfilled. You promised to keep me safe and you did the EXACT OPPOSITE EVERY SINGLE TIME. I forgave you too many times before. For FOUR GOD DAMN YEARS I said "It's Okay" pretty much reaffirming your behavior. I was basically saying "Its okay, you can still treat me this way.". I don't care how ANYONE sees you. To me you are a HORRIBLE person who wears the mask of a savior. You're no better than Donna OR Donald. And for the record, I am ashamed to have your genes. I am ashamed to have the Way blood in my veins. I am so f***ing ashamed to have ever called you my parent. I thought that my step dad was bad as a kid. You make him look like a SAINT in comparison. And you have admitted so many times that you would have abused me if you stayed in my life you f***ing psychopath. And you were right. You treated mom like this, why did I ever expect you to be any different with me! You said "We were both abusive". I don't believe that anymore. I believe that she was standing up for herself after all of those years of you treating less than a human being, constantly CHEATING on trust ANYONE after what you did to her.  And you "regret it" but then you turn around and shoved my face in the dirt OVER AND OVER AGAIN. F*** off. I hate you. You are a piece of sh*t and I cant believe I wasted four years of my life trying to get the love you never gave me. Drop dead motherf***er.                                 Get your own valid XHTML YouTube embed code

what are the three most terrifying words you can think of? a lot of people would say something along the lines of "you have cancer," some people would say "we should talk," others would say "I love you."but me? mine are "Are you happy?" because "I don't know."   loveabby

I keep seeing things on my Facebook page about it being a turning point in universal energies. Basically I keep getting messages saying there is a miracle on the horizon for us spiritualists and that the five and a half months of suffering and manipulation has finally come to a close from the Pluto Retrograde. As we begin to enter the Venus Retrograde, our relationships between our family, friends, and lovers are put on trial as well as our financial income. So lets all be prepared here, its not over yet. But good things are coming. We all learn and grow as the universe tells us how to continue down the right path in your life. Stay positive, share good vibes and motivational words. Stand up for yourself . Now is the time for rest and healing. Your spirit guides are there for you, hear them whisper. Your time to rise has arrived. You will find sanctuary and work towards inner peace. Look inwards and remind yourself who you are, you are unique in this world. You will discover fascinating things. Become the best person you can be. So mote it be. Blessed be to all my friends on here. Stay strong!

I'm guilty of f***ing up again. I thought I could see the best in people and give them a second chance but what I should have learned the last time was if nothing changed last time, it wont work out this time. Some people will tell you over and over again that they have change and promise sanctuary away from a chaotic life. But when they burst into your room at midnight and put their foot on your chest waking you up and whispering "I could kill you right now and no one would ever know". I was in fear almost 24/7 with no support system. But they made a big mistake. I had a mental breakdown and they called the cops on me and forced me into inpatient care at the local psychiatric hospital. That event changed everything. After discharging I decided to start IOP. I explained my situation to the group which I thought I was the one at fault. My "friends" have fully convinced me that I was evil. The group and therapists opened my eyes and told me how they were treating me was not normal. I was willing to put up with so much just so I could have at least some people in my life to mutually care and support each other. But it was incredibly one sided. Sure, they gave me a house with my own room to live in, I helped pay rent, I helped buy food...I went through hell and back to make sure that they were safe. I was there for them in the beginning when they needed someone. Then their  behavior changed and mine did too because of how toxic they were. They accused me of treating their dogs like sh*t, when I was actually taking care of them and spending time with them while they sat in their room all day. They werent even supposed to be my responsibility but they forced the dogs on me because they were "part of the family too". They were overly critical of me and everything I was doing. They tried to be purists while shaming me for almost everything I did. I could never be good enough for them. And in IOP I met this awesome guy named Zack. He is nine years older than me but by this time I was so f***ing desperate to get the f*** out of my situation I begged him to get me out of there. We got along pretty well. And I dont think I wouldve started talking to him if he didnt bring up D&D. He is your typical gamer geek. So we hit it off very well. After we both graduated the class I met his parents and they said that I can live with them til I get on my feet. They dont have a deadline for me to go which makes it better. And they kinda adopted me as their own. Im working on getting a job and exploring myself and searching to find who I truly am inside. Cause I am done trying to be a mold just so people would like me and avoid conflict. I am done living in fear. I am done living in the past. I found my spiritual side on this journey, and I feel strongly connected to my celtic pagan heritage. The new age and old celtic religions and practices gave me the positive messages I needed to hear. I dont want to go and say the whole "I found God" ordeal,  since most of my beliefs revolve around nature and magick. I am starting a new path as a celtic witch. And Samhain is upon us and my mother and my ancestors spirits will be on the same plane for the only day this year. background halloween black cleonie fond picturesThis is time to let go of toxic people and start healing. Good things are upon us. And I shall be starting my college years soon at SWIC Belleville here in Southern Illinois. I will work towards a pre-major in fine arts and transfer my credits to Joe Kubert Art School in New Jersey so I can accomplish getting my dream job. I am also working on a portfolio/inktober sketches so anyone interested in seeing those can find them on my instagram @ashtonwayart. Hop you all are having a fantastic week.Love, Ashton Way                            

Just found about this website today, thought I'd give it a go, so here I am, new profile and all.

I bought my residenceMy room in fortress I took picture with my phone was sunny day out. Along with tokyu rail road company estate agency. Buying this room was applied. Busy days working at  manufactory and application, Ownership law / Real Property Registration Order applied, drivers licence to my ID. City district hall to police station Lots of application tasks to do taking off days while working at manufactory.This place won't allow Yakuza, Japanese yankee,bouryoku danin, foreigner to reside or enter before reside must identify self and apply and comfirm law application not belonging to any of above mentioned. I as well did and applied.Billiard room, drinking hall, laundry section, all inside fortress (Mansion)

Im the only one like meIn this whole universeIm the worst to beAnd you wont ever knowWho i am Please just goBecause this was just,An accidentAnd if you must,Leave a little slowerBut please,Dont say you want to be,Just like me

Defenseless.In a weak industrial world.Fearless.In a strong imperial morgue.The gentle grass hits my knees,Hits my ankles.The gentle flow of the trees.Painful memories leaving you in shackles.Rushing business into the world,Continuous lights in the cold.Tider tadder at my window.Every heart begins to shatter.Frequent tears at your side.Heights to show how small you are.But to you, life is just a ride.Catching the fireflies.Counting every single lie.Realizing you never got far.Signs mean only one thing.To captivate your eyes.But you only live in your disguise.Sometimes you believe you are mesmerized.Tider tadder at my window.Believing chances may not fail.Tider tadder at my window.This is where we all find the holy grail.Hearing shouts upon the night.But there's certainly no fright.The dark shadows and sudden falls.But you're kept safe among those walls.Tider tadder at my window.The black night shows no flow.We can see no stars.We only see the restless cars.This dark night is only a shadow.Of the tider tadder at my window.

Shouting up to the sky,I think we need to be wise.The man appears."Kid, you need to be ignorant."They always say,Ignorance is bliss.But what may be the reason why.Is it problems can't be fixed?I don't know where to go,All this time going with the flow.Now I see empty spaces everywhere,Take me somewhere.Wake up from the nightmare.The midnight creaks in the floorboards.Looks at the mirror and stares.Stabbing my reflection 12 times.The dark clouds to carry me away.While many candles bring me back down.But candles burn out.I burned out.Carving words in legs.Marking the times that make this life hard.All the times anyone gave up.Pulling up the card.Wings clipped from age 3.Keeping me where everyone says I should be.Believing in dreams.Helping others complete theirs.I pushed out of this nest.I can do what's best.I want to reach, or fly.Leaping out to the sky.Happiness is a treasure.It's kept away.The feeling being severe.I don't know what to say.

I should give up?Just shut up.I should never smile?You have no future.We can't all be like you,Stupid and confused.Over did it and had a fit.When I'm f***ing over it.We never understand.And we don't have to listen to sh*t.Also saying you whip some canned.-Nope, you're sh*t.I'm afraid of ghosts.I can't sleep.But nobody.Look on this situation.Bright mornings.Sun glares and bird chirping.Poor due to inflation.You have a future?I should smile.They should shut up?I won't give up.

my band has ran outta ideas f***.

Save me from these vile smiles,From the broken sleep,To my happy place,Six feet deepI’m so cold,Why cant i feelIs it too late?Is this really real?

Take it all away,I don't want this anymore.I don't have to say that this was,perfect.And at the end of the day,Who really won this game? If both of us are standing seconds from other,But feeling years away.We can lie again tonight,Let's say it's supposed to be this way.But I know you well,Just know I can tell.Every time you reassure me,I know what you really feel.Kiss and conceal,I know how you really feel.Hide and don't tell,But I know that you meant well,When you left promises over time,And tore my heart out from inside.So let's kiss and conceal,I know how you really feel.We won't mention it,It's so much easier to act like it's not there.I'll never get to realize,Why I can no longer feel alive.It's nothing serious,You'll make the rules up as we go.And say it's just perfect,Because we deserve it,And we'll fall for it every time.But I know you well,Just know I can tell.Every time you reassure me,I know what you really feel.Kiss and conceal,I know how you really feel.Hide and don't tell,But I know that you meant well,When you left signals over time,And tore my heart out from inside.Kiss and conceal,I know how you really feel.You're nothing short of a liar,But I don't care,I miss the you I remember.Don't mention it,We'll be fine.And we can do this forever,And we can do this forever and ever.But I know you well,Just know I can tell.Every time you reassure me,I know what you really feel.Kiss and conceal,I know how you really feel.Hide and don't tell,But I know that you meant well,When you left promises over time,And tore my heart out from inside.Kiss and conceal,I know how you really feel tonight.

Stay away from me until i leave you.I’ll still be here a while,I’d appreciate if you left me alone.I need to think about the choices to come.I don’t want you to get too caught up,In me.I’m unimportant..I’m never going to get anywhere with you,Hanging off me like that.

i'm drowning in a river of youi was meant to be baptised but i think i'm being martyredso make me the poster boy for your scene but you're not getting saints you're getting sinnersyeah i think you're worth the brazen bullit's the least i can do for my golden calfsorry, you make idolatry look so goodloveloveloveabby