maylegend

Last Login:
September 16th, 2019




Gender: Female
Status: Single
Age: 14
Country: United States

Signup Date:
August 02, 2019


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09/04/2019 12:02 PM 

Who Said I Cared?

(im just gonna say it now, this post is not directed towards anyone on here. y'all are lovely people. i just need a place to publicly vent where this person won't see it.)




who ever said i cared about you? HAH. me. my stupid ass did. you were so cool and kind and one of my best friends back in the day, but now you're just a mess. yeah, i get it. people change over time and that's okay.

who said you would still be the person today that you were in 2016? nobody. because people change, and that's okay. but who said you would be the reason i can't enjoy ANYTHING, even though i have no clue why? who said i would get so upset about a fake person just because i know what you used to be like? you wouldn't have done this in 2016. you wouldn't have made a freakshow out of one of my most honest and real friendships.

who said there would be no room for me in my own places? who said HE had to be in on all of our inside jokes? GOD if you could just close your f**king mouth for FIVE SECONDS and i wouldn't have to hear his name or hear about any of whatever you two do together, that would be great. just give me the opportunity to breathe, and i'll get enough air to fill both of our lungs. just let our friendship be ours and ours alone. that's all i want.

and another thing. i have never been assertive. i have never stood up for myself in the face of someone i love, and you know this. you've seen my blog. you've seen all those little posts tagged #vague, and they've just gone right under your nose cause your head is so far up your ass, you couldn't even recognize that THEY'RE ALL ABOUT YOU FOR GOD'S SAKE!!! you don't even TRY and you act like everything is fine when it's NOT FINE!!! YOU NEVER CHECKED UP ON ME!!!! YOU NEVER ASKED HOW I WAS FEELING!!! and when you tried to KILL YOURSELF????? yeah, I cared!!!! of course i cared! you're my BEST ONLINE FRIEND!!!! but i am so scared of you and your sharp tongue that i can't say anything to you without hiding behind tags on tumblr. i hate it.

let me spell it out. EMPATHY. i never know how you feel and you never know how i feel. quite frankly i don't  really even WANT TO until you feel some form of that sneaky little seven letter word. yeah i get that it's not your strong suit and i understand, but someone with VERY low empathy and a lonely f**king LITERAL EMPATH who just wants to be loved and heard and understood??? that's gonna be HARD. how oblivious do you have to be, really???? how much longer will you go until you at least pretend to have some kind of sympathy or- god forbid- EMPATHY for your self-proclaimed best friend???

honestly, i think it would be for the better if you just never spoke to me again. of course i'll never tell you that and of course i wouldn't even DREAM of saying it, but maybe you and him should stay in your own little corner together. you're so similar and i am so different from you and your friends. that's why i left. i now know what macy felt like and god forbid i feel SOME KIND OF PITY for her!!!! but i still do!!! you are so cruel and you don't even realize it!! it gives me this awful feeling in my chest that maybe it's not meant to be!!! maybe i should disappear again, who knows!!! at least this time around, i know WHY everything you do makes my heart burn. 

so yeah. that's all i have to say to you but never will. i'll stay in my line and you'll never stay in yours, but i'll leave you with this.

don't assume i care. because you obviously don't.

goodnight.

09/01/2019 06:50 PM 

Still Alive

wow. hi! it's been a minute! i hope yall are having a good week/month/life haha. i started school last week and it's pretty rad so far. i decided to take a military history class that's ran through my school's jrotc program, so im basically a cadet now??? yeah. its wild. i did not sign up for this. i have to wear a class b uniform every wednesday which will be a little weird, but the teacher is nice and the class is fun so far so it's okay.


im also taking german again this year, but my crush failed german 102 last year so hes not in the class anymore :(. i only get to see him for like 5 seconds in the hallway every day and ugh. this boy yall, he makes me question the heck outta my sexuality. i miss him and his stupid face >:(

also, i finally moved!! its such a cute little neighborhood and i can basically walk anywhere haha. i'm so excited to heckin Go Places x)

today was a rlly good day. my best friend (who im gonna call snufkin on here) and i went to goodwill today and i got some epic shoes but they're way too big :( i hate my heckin baby feet lol. snufkin got a bunch of photography related stuff bc they're creative like that and yeah!! it was fun!!

anyways :p have a good day/night. l8r sk8rs!! 

08/04/2019 05:54 PM 

Finally Going Home

i'm so so so excited to finally move. i'll be able to walk from my new house all the way to my old elementary school (which is a rlly nice hangout spot :0) and yeah!! it'll be so good to finally be back where i belong.

08/03/2019 12:36 PM 

Who Knew Arsenic Could be Blue

hmm. a couple days ago, one of my friends told me that my crush had a girlfriend. honestly im not surprised at all, she's really pretty and kind, but the girlfriend is someone that she had dated before and i thought had gotten over her? if that makes any sense. i don't know. i'm not really allowed to be hurt over this but goddmnt i'm hurt!! i've tried to get over this particular crush hecka times before but like. i guess im just stuck w it.  :))))))

08/03/2019 07:46 PM 

good day

today, my best friend and i went shopping 4 one of our closeted trans friends!! we got her sum discreetly feminine stuff since shes mtf and idk, i guess i just feel really good about it!! now, im watching pewdiepie and my parental units r making pizza, its a good life!!

also, im moving in a few weeks!! im so excited since the new house is closer to my school and a few of my friends houses :D its gonna be great

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