Gender: Female
Status:
Single
Age: 21
Sign:
Libra
Country: Canada
Signup Date: January 11, 2018
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08/15/2018 12:10 PM
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Kids & Hearts & Time & Dreams
Dark summer night dark summer night Oh we search for redemption in three words Always, always, always, redemption in three words I am sorry I love you I miss you Dark summer night Hold me tight (Don't) let me go
"I need a way away from those days They haunt my spirit(s) and make my wine bitter I can't afford jewels and they're hard to swallow And you, my good sir, are just as shallow As the glimmer of a diamond in the dawn of day And the hearts we left behind, confused by the daze"
Dark summer night Dark summer night Terrible a-plight Devoid of light Take my might Break it right Lost my sight Lost my fight
Dark summer night
"I stand alone and the world is vast I stand alone and the shadows are long You are no more and I miss your rust The fight is so hard, I don't belong 'm 'fraid a dark summer night won't suffice 'fraid 'I love you' won't be the knight in shining armor to save my life"
Fight for yourself Get it together Believe in yourself Go fix yourself
Before you fix others Sometimes all you need is to change the batteries And it'll work again, work like a charm
So before saying "I love you", And it was the hardest thing they ever did They learned to say "I love me" and I admire them for their deeds
(but not all of us have that courage and not all of us are that strong and some of us think it's morally wrong to embrace such flaw)
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08/06/2018 12:47 PM
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I'm A Bad Loser (Not Meaning I'm Terrible At Losing)
Three shots in the dead of the night Three shots and I can't hear, not quite For each bullet is like a cry And each tear brings tears to my eyes
Leave things as they are (don't show up) Unless you need something from in here
You're a fool to think I forgot the lock I'm just sad to learn you won't disappear
Your pink lips are white lies if they part You can trick me but not for that long
Though I long for what wasn't long
Though you may still play the part
Dress up for the days hearts collide Paint tears on your face with a brush Then get them off in a rush Soon as you find an ugly side
Am I fooling myself now? Tell me, are all these delusions and lies? Who can I trust, who can I not, If the girl in the mirror wants my skin off my bones And the ones on my side...
Can I trust you when you say it's in my head? If I have these thoughts each time I go to bed. And the tone is each time more convincing When it says my face is sickening.
I don't mean to burden you I don't wish to bring you down But here, at the very bottom of my mind There's no light that filters through the cracks There's nothing that's holding me back And oh, I forgot to mention, The sign reads "No entrance"
I'm hoping for renewal because I don't know how long I'll last I'm begging for friends because I only see ghosts of my past and patterns that repeat themselves endlessly in my eyes Like the were burnt to the top of my corneas
If you were gonna pretend you could've told me from the start.
and each time i so desperately asked you if you hated me.
and each time i begged you to leave me, to leave because i'm no good.
and if i really am as selfish and bad.
then why the hell are you still around?
and can you tell me when's your one way ticket away from me due?
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07/30/2018 11:30 PM
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I feel like crap
Current mood:
angsty
I'm tired all the time, I'm either super happy or things are just bad and I don't feel like doing anything. There's no reason, there's a bunch of reasons, none of them are bad enough to justify it. I've been thinking of going back to stuff I know is no good, I can't talk about this to anyone because they look at me like I've gone bonkers, and I haven't gone bonkers. At some point I thought I had, I went to talk to someone about it, a counselor, but it didn't feel good, it didn't feel good to have it out there, it felt like it wanted to make it's way right back into my brains, so i pretended everything was normal, I don't even know what I'm up against. Sometimes I think I'm making sh*t up for attention, I go full weeks where I'm fine, where nothing happens.
I don't want to promote feeling sad. I don't want to promote aching. I don't anyone, ever, to think that this is cool. So I can't describe what I feel without risking it, I can't talk about the things I want to do, but it's there, in my mind, and i feel so powerless.
sorry about the rant. i just needed at least some of it out.
goodnight, my dms are always open if anyone needs help thru tough times ♥
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06/30/2018 10:54 PM
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piece of mind? (I liked you better when you were sad and lonely)
Not all that glitters is gold Sometimes it's the metal of a ghost An entity that no longer touches my skin Subconscious thoughts, what you want most Ah, tradegy, best frenemy Bathe me in my sins (blood) Drown me in my sorrow (tears) For I wear on my flesh The marks of time I borrow Though I mustn't rush time Though I shouldn't want this Like I shouldn't want you Like I shouldn't like the bitter kiss Of a serpent that no longer kills But slowly, it's making me ill
Oh, I, poor little me I desire sadness like everyone else I glorify suffering like everyone else Each night is just another night And I do not deserve to breathe And so I shut my eyes and dream Of a world where everyone feels real And so I stop inhaling, why bother If inspiration comes from a broken soul
and if to write, you must suffer.
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04/02/2018 12:08 PM
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Like Looking For The Off Switch In The Dark
There are so many thought in my mind Brain flowing like an unstoppable river Anger guided towards imaginary crime It's none of my business, the state of your liver
Four, twenty, ten thoughts that terrorize me Translate it to a language of love, it makes sense Haunt the top of my neck like ghosts beneath my skin Reminding me of the darkness of all my sins
I punch walls like I punch my mind Aimlessly, uselessly, just to pass the time And where am I going with this, how should i know? I lost my direction when I lost you, dumb? you bet
Nonsense but it pours out like it's not nonetheless No one cares, no one cares you're driving them away They're pretending, why do they pretend why don't they just go Yeah leave leave me alone here locked up inside
But oh please stay stay a little longer, a longer while I'm egotistical and idiotic and that much I know But I need something between me and this shine I was hoping you wouldn't let me stop so low
And when they're all gone where will I go Existence depending on the eyes and the ears On eventual flashes and crinkles muscles And when they're all gone guess I'll go
The time, the time it doesn't freeze You can't move it out of place like slime You can't turn back the hands of time Cold, dead, veiny, the hands of time
And violence so much violence Wishing to thrash me from inside Breaking the delicate dam of my patience And leaving bruised knuckles like promises behind
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03/05/2018 10:37 PM
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Against All Odds
Current mood:
unhappy
They never wished to end up this way Curled up in a ball counting their blessings To stop the tears from falling astray So that their sadness would have a meaning
And then behind a wall of numbers They hide, feeling every day number
They never wished to end up this way But life doesn't care about feelings On their highs their head meets the ceiling Come down hitting rock bottom anyway
And then behind a wall of mockery They hug their knees hoping for better
They never wished to end up this way Yet finding the light gets harder every day Isn't it supposed to be at the end of the road? Why won't anyone let them take the highway?
They never wished to end up this way
One more nightsky That's one more daylight One more small victory Over the meaningless fight That is the c(o)urse of their life
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02/26/2018 08:05 PM
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tu commences � me faire chier
Deux yeux pleins d'espoir Pleins de larmes Cimeti�res d'envies noires D�potoir d'armes
Ton coeur, une centrale nucl�aire Ton sourire, une image �ph�m�re Notre toujours, sensation passag�re Ton bonheur, ma tombe, mon enfer
Tu commences � me faire chier
Tout va bien, fais comme si j'existais pas Garde moi comme un chien Traite moi comme un drap
Si tout collapse, l� t'as besoin de moi �cris moi chaque jour " J'suis toujours l� pour toi"
Tu joues la victime de pi�ces oubli�es Tu vends ton attention en pi�ces d�tach�es J'en ai marre de rien valoir J'suis tann�e d'�tre � tes pieds
Depuis le premier soir tu m'as ignor�e Un jour j'vais te le faire payer Si le silence c'est ce que tu veux De tes radars je dispara�trai
T'sais, des fois, t'as pas besoin d'�tre Miss My life is falling apart T'sais, juste une fois, essaye donc �a �tre l� pour les autres Pas t'en calisser compl�tement jusqu'� ce que toi t'aies besoin de quelqu'un
Si t'�tais tellement une bonne �me T'auras pas besoin d't'en vanter
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01/20/2018 10:06 PM
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this ink i've spent over you to let you know i don't care sends contradictory messages
Current mood:
blah
i've spilled ink i've made mistakes i've ran my mouth my eyes, made my own heart and head ache
not anymore not for you only tonight only one more time
you're a ray of sunshine on a grey day... that reflects directly into a magnifier and sets the whole forest on fire you're beautifully destructive, cute but oh i hate you so
you used to be the person i despised the most shut me up when i'm having fun make me ashamed of who i am vicious on the inside presented with care
you've taught me to see past you and all i see is broken broken that doesn't want to be fixed
broken that wants to cut and break everything out of sheer rage and well, for someone who spends their time wallowing in self-pity, i guess it's hypocritical of me to say
but you know what, i'm gonna say it
stop it
stop making everything about you
the world doesn't spin to make you dizzy this guy didn't go out of his way to ruin your life this teacher didn't change the rules to make you fail
own up to your mistakes
i know your life sucks but dude
you're making it impossible for it not to.
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01/13/2018 06:49 PM
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Music elitists, mania, FOB fandom in general
Current mood:
bummed
Y'all
as a person that deeply loves Fall Out Boy and practically kisses wherever they walk (metaphorically of course), I am pissed off. I know I'm not very relevant or whatever but like let me talk about this for a few minutes. I'd like to cover a few topics: what's a fake fan, respect in the fandom, posers, music elitists and well of course all of these are related to the new sound and ultimately: M a n i a.
WHAT'S A FAKE FAN:
I've been a fan of FOB for roughly two years, so I can't say I'm like, an encyclopedia of knowledge on this topic, but... I've seen a bunch of people call each other fake fans, and my opinion on that is that's a dumb thing to call someone else.
very elaborated I know
wait, let me explain:
How can you be a fake fan of something? Is that even possible? If you genuinely like something an artist does/did, you're a fan, if you don't, you're not a fan, if you pretend to like them to be cool, you're a poser. It's about as easy as that.
Just because someone likes Take This To Your Grave and not Mania doesn't makes them a fake fan.
You don't need to worship every single thing someone does to like them.
like, a very select amount of people can even stand the sound of Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend or Arma Angelus (I personally like arma's stuff but yknow). The people who can't stand can still be like, the ultimate FOB stan.
Please stop attacking people because they don't like the new sound and you do, it's annoying and completely useless and it makes the fandom toxic and divides it. vice versa.
MUSIC ELITIST:
As Patrick Stump has said, " Music is a thing people really define themselves with."
Okay, what does that mean (in my h u m b l e opinion) If you're a punk, you listen to like, Black Flag, Misfits or well, yknow, punk bands. If you're a metalhead you listen to like, metal music. If you're a loser like me, I MEAN, an emo, you listen to like, emo bands. Alright you get the logic.
NOW, some people think that because they listen to Kvlt music, black metal and death, they're like, better persons? Edgier? Closer to the devil? I dunno man..
Isn't it
annoying
when these people go on like, youtube videos of BVB or whatever and they're like " tHIS ISN'T rEAl mETal!!!!!!! the only REAL metalheads LIsten to mayhem ALL DAY EVERY DAY and sacrifice baby goats to satan!!!111" (please don't get offended, this is for humor purposes) (don't curse me, kvlt kids, ur cool)
yeah? I agree with you, it's annoying.
Well it's also annoying when emo kids (unironically) trash pop music or well, whatever genre just because they dislike it. Listen,
Live And Let Live
OH, also, you're allowed to like Britney Spears and listen to Arch Enemy like, you don't need to limit yourself to one genre, you're not better for it, just more ignorant.
expand your horizons
also @ tttyg fans, give mania a chance, just try it.
alright, much love fellow emos
just listen to any music you like the sound of
even if its lyrics are dumb even if the rythm is sloppy even if it's pop even if it's Blood On The Dancefloor
let's just be nice to each other n respect people's personnal tastes
p.s: I don't support people that trash on fob for doing new stuff and harrass them to turn back to the old sound, they're doing what they love, let them. ur not groovy
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01/13/2018 06:33 PM
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i want friends lmao
how does this thing work
brvh
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